Whats wrong even if it is a set up event. Whats with these desi pointing fingers. I’m sure you would be going there if you had a 30 years old daughter sitting home just cuz of your idiotic approach of following traditions in a foreign country.
I say if it is a hook up spot than more power to it… You desies don’t let ur girls go out and find a mate, parents keep a close eye on their children so they don’t go astray and when events like ISNA come along you guys find it as a No No too! Shame on our desi community for its inhibitions, conservativeness and hypercritic behavior.
I wouldn't take too much notice of the 'cheap shots', I see lots of these sort of events here as well but I don't see such a negative attitude as you seem to encounter BoSS. On the contrary, I find that they are pretty well received.
well i thought this event was suppose to be about Islam and not a hook up place for teenagers ..and if young kids go there to find themselves a bf or a gf rather then learning about Islam then it seems sad
well if they get hooked up and something comes of it, it's a good thing. It has been known to destroy marriages as well in some cases - lots of people use these events to pick up temporary solutions, so that's probably why the negative comments.
You have to take the good with the bad I suppose, it's still pretty much a needed service for some people otherwise these events wouldn't exist.
Its better they hook up at these conventions than at bars and pubs. Atleast then you know to an extent what you are getting into, although it shouldn't be the primary cause to go to these conventions. Thats the misconception desi parents have, i pity them for their ignorance and all those who support them.
I agree with coconut. Also, the ISNA conventions are pretty popular and approved of out here, even within my strict and ridiculously traditional and hypocritical local memon community.
And so what if its a way of finding out a "mate"? I mean, finding a mate certainly doesn't fall under the category of Islam...and one should, Islamically, focus on personal, intellectual, and religous qualities of a person rather than the physical...what better place than ISNA conventions (for muslims)
the cheap shots are cause most people are too embarrassed about looking for a spouse & not cause there is something wrong about it.
For those who are talking about teenagers, where are these teenages every day when they are at school? the fact that they meet up here is nothing different then thier day to day life when they go to school ( and dont tell me all the do is work hard at school!). Those who seek a gf or a bf dont come to ISNA for that (it tends to be an after thot) - they probably would find it easier to find them in thier local schools. Why have a long distance gf/bf from ISNA?
The event itself could do with a bit better arrangements though. Parents should be willing to give thier kids some freedom not because they want to do something bad but because everyday in thier lives children are free to meet and intereact with anyone they want at school. Why not here... especially if it can lead to better things. And ISNA could take a more serious role in pursuing this approach and helping people meet other people. At the very least they should develop better networking events. Almost all the things they desire to do in the US at least require a better and more coordinated apporach between muslims and such events could help to develop that.
Just as folks talking pot shots at such gatherings need to learn more about it, so do you about where such folks are coming from.
If a meeting at an ISNA event turns into a match, then more power to it. Agreed. However, what I believe people mean by their criticism is that ISNA events at times turn into something similar to the main gate of a girls college somewhere in Pakistan, with guys and girls, whose closest brush with Islam is the use of Mohammad in their fathers name, lining up and ‘checking’ each other out. THat is cheap no doubt. But if properly and decently arranged, I agree, there is nothing wrong with it.
As for your initial statement that i quoted, I dont know why following your own traditions in a foreign country is an idiotic approach. Does that mean you are supposed to merge 100% with a foreign culture, regardless? If not, then where do you draw the line? Is there any hard line for it? Of course not. Everyone has their own place to draw a line. Noone has the right to dictate guidelines for any society’s behavior.
To be honest, I was not really clear about what ISNA is until now. I thought this was some sort of “Religious” convention. I think, the “I” is misleading.
Nothing wrong with bringing people together who share certain customs/values. At the same time, I believe that people need to look beyond superficial similarities. There’s a whole lot of world out there.
akif this is exactly what i wanted to say..thanks u saved me some work :)
i also didnt know too much about ISNA..if parents go there to look for a rishta there is nothing wrong with that...when i go to jaloos in nyc i dont even wanna look at a girl forget about hookin up with them
there is a difference between azadi and bighairtii.. if ure gonna do the hook-up scene atleast dontdo it under the name of islam.... ppl go to parites to hookup.. but now do we have to make a islamic gathering a hook-up plac.e. i mean in the day time u see all the girls goin to the lectures an by night the hijabs come off or are barely on and they r trutin the the tightest clothes on the streets or in the lobby all in the name of the ISNA .. an thats what bothers me.. har kaam limit main acha lagta hai.. an im jus pissed off about the hypocricy.. ure wearin the hijab cuz of the NAMEHRAMS yet the girls r comfortably hangin out with them at 2 am at night.. an why cover ur head when u r jus gonan wear super tight clothes to make upfor the covered head.. i mean why cover ur head.... let it be... n the boys.. well all they r lookin for is a girl to pass their number to.. anything with two legs.. do they forget they have sisters??? they r there IN FOR ISNA.. however.. the time is spent for huntin down girls an hookin up..
newayss since when is datin or hookin up islamically ok?? last time i cheked it was not allowed.. jus because we live here doesnt mean we should lose touch with our religion an culture..
Its understandable for those who are against this. But put yourself in the shoes of a parent who has a 30+ year old daughter at home and the parents are old and see the daughter as a burden tell me would you not seek this event as a possible solution to the "problem". Yes you all may say its not a problem but go ask your parents what it is like to have a single "old" daughter at home.
if parents go there to look for a rishta there is nothing wrong with that...when i go to jaloos in nyc i dont even wanna look at a girl forget about hookin up with them
Please. I doubt you're this sharif. And are u implying that it would be wrong if a person goes out looking for their own rishtaa?
Khadija, from what I had read, proposed to the prophet herself. Its possible that her uncle intervened for facilitation and because it was a TRADITIONAL PAGAN ARAB CUSTOM! Not that parent involvement is bad, but dont think its the only Islamic way to go.
And what is this about 30 year old women being burdens on their parents? EXCUSE ME, but I'll be about 30 after I'm done with grad school and residency, and I probably wont be married until I get a job. And believe me, its not that bad. I have two unmarried aunts, and they're both HAPPY and ACTIVE women. They're both in their 50's. Women aren't cheese, that they must be sold by a certain time, otherwise, they'll go bad!
Good example Gudya to shut some of these "muslims" up.
As for the tradition of Larki parading in front of na-mehrams... serving 'chai' to her possible rishta..I think we have beaten this topic to death. This is a third class tradition if not ridiculous and I don't see no 'islam' in this kind of showcase. You guys preach islam and let your sisters do this parade like she is a commodity. Heck, whats so hard about question a tradition like that other than the fact that it brushes ur ego.
Gudya keeping this tradition in mind where girls are chosen or rejected based on half hour meetings ..I think a 30+ yr old has a lot chance than say a 20 yr old. They DO become a burden on parents..you can't deny that. There would be no 'burden' if ppl get more opportunities like ISNA.
This event can be used and abused like any other event. It’s the chichora and shoda pun in us desies which makes these events a failure and a taboo.
