In Life 1, I read the following comment on the issue of women living with their in-laws after marriage. Frankly this issue should be discussed between the spouses and they should do what makes sense in their situation, as well as financial considerations. There is no one-size-fits-all for this issue, so none of the following should be constued to mean that you have to move-in with your in-laws or must move-out.
Since this issue comes up quite often, so I’d like to provide some commentary on this. Technically, the statement made by Sadiyah is correct. According to Islamic ruling, a husband “must provide his wife with a dwelling place that will conceal her from the eyes of people and protect her from heat and cold, where she can live and settle and be independent”.
However, the definition of “dwelling place” does not necessarily mean a separate house. According to hanafi scholars, it can also mean, quite simply a room with a lock. A place where the woman can feel protected and can keep her stuff private and protected from the rest of the family in the house. Most scholars explained that in addition to a locked room, its a right of a woman to be provided bathroom that is not shared by anyone else and, if possible, basic kitchen facilities.
**This link**provides very detailed answer, including evidence and further commentary.
However, as I said before, this is a common question that comes up frequently and should be one that is best discussed amongst the husband and the wife and a mutually satisfying solution should be agreed upon.
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
Faisal, thank you for bringing it up. I had no idea she isn't allowed to ask for a separate accomodation if she has a room where she could consider herself safe.
I still have my doubts and will ask around if I get a chance.
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
There is a television program that comes on ARY, hosted by a religious scholar in which he answers questions from the viewers. The first time I heard about this issue, I was left scratching my head. Not because of the response, but because I was surprised that such a minute detail of personal life is even attempted to be addressed by muslim religious scholars. In any case, I find this answer fairly interesting, partly because a lot of people don't know about it even though its a hot button issue, and also because it doesn't make immediate intuitive sense either.
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
I still have my doubts and will ask around if I get a chance.
I guess an argument could be made that it is a non-shared accomodation. With a seperate kitcehn, you pretty much have the definition of a seperate (vs shared) accomodation in rental agreements. :-)
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman’s right to separate housing
Yes it helps :k:
I think the answer in that link covers many aspects of this problem, quite conclusively. Also, more than girls, desi guys should know and understand this issue because most of the time they are dumbfold and ignorant of their responsibilities. when it comes to serving thier parents understanding duties of wife.
Husband’s parents are his responsibility, his wife is not required to serve them. He should be looking after them and take care of thier needs. Islamically.He can not transfer his duties to his wife.
So, If my mother is mother is ill then I should be the one who take care her medicine and food, or i arrange care taker in my absence
Taking care of husband and children’s need is the duty of wife.
Ideally, wife is required to pay heed to husband’s likes and dislikes more than the likes and dislikes of In-laws
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
After discussing this fatwa with a friend, I learned that a wife has the right to ask for a separate residence and her husband cannot turn it down unless he's financially incapable of it.
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
^ This is correct. It is a right of a wife to have a separate residence. The real question is how do you define "residence". Does it have to be a separate house/apartment/condo/town house/tent or can it just be a separate room, bathroom and kitchen? What does your friend say?
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
Well we were discussing it and obviously when you're speaking in terms of a separate kitchen and the like, then likely you pretty much have a complete separate residence.
Also, what we came up with was the fact that times have changed and the way houses are built these days and accomodations work, it's a lot easier to acquire a complete separate residence than somehow accomodating it all under a single roof.
The only exception that we could think of where a wife shouldn't demand a separate residence is when the husband is under financial difficulty and has to move back with his parents or something along those lines.
Besides, if he really cannot afford to fulfill such requirements/rights, then why get married in the first place? Why not wait till he's financially stable and then get married. Should he then somehow lose his job and has to move in with his parents, then that would be a different scenario.
Anyway, that is more or less what we could come up with.
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman’s right to separate housing
And yet most desis overlook this tiny little “right” that she has to separate accomadation. Then again any right that a woman HAS to ask for in her life, she jsut wants to get rid of his parents, she’s a cold hearted witch, she will leave her hubby at t first chance of trouble blahblhalbha..
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman’s right to separate housing
Right on, but the issue was never about whether the wife has such rights or not, but who is going to implement or grant those rights? How many women in Pakistan (even the upper class and educated ones) can say that the in laws are not my responsibility, rather they are the husband’s? Not many.
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
the husband also has his obligations towards his parents, and keeping a wife in a separate house will divide the person between his work, his parents' house, his wife's house and life will be a disaster in this case....
unless the wife really has a genuine problem living with in-laws i see no reason why a husband shud be forced to get his wife a separate home....
in-laws r not the problem of the wife, but imagine what the wife will do alone if the in-laws r sick and need attending to and the husband is over at the parents' house looking after them????
wont she be better off living in a separate portion in the same house????
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
^ you know, from your previous posts you often come across as someone who practices Islam regardless of what the culture says. It's interesting to see that this attitude doesn't extend to the rights that your wife has.
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
^ just discussing the practicality of a wife living in a separate house....
it has nothing to do with culture....
i see Islam as a practical religion and things that r not practical, (generally) r not Islamic....
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman’s right to separate housing
^ Armughal, a wife has a right to separate housing fromher husband. This is the Islamic ruling whether you see it to be practical or not I’m surprised at your comments on this one :no:
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
**armughal **bhai, if a wife is allowed to request is separate then there should be no ifs and buts unless out of necessity or for a valid reason. You may not realize, but tensions often arise when the wife and mother/sister in-law are living under the same roof.
Besides all women want their own home and complete privacy with no interference at all.
Sara516, how could you forget desis have their version of Islam under which a wife does not have the right to request for a separate residence.
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
^ it has nothing to do with culture....
i have not even been in pakistani culture, i lie in arab world where hardly 5% of married men live with parents....
my own elder brother lives in a separate house after marriage....
but i dont think that a woman must be given a separate house even if that means a lot of problems for the husband while her living with in-laws is not of any problem to the wife....
second, u all go on the saying that in-laws r no responsibility of the wife....
and they can die before her and she wud not be responsible to look after them....
i wonder why the father-in-law wud be declared a mehram to a woman if she is to live in a separate house and if he has no rights....
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
^ If a wife having her own home was impractical, then the ruling would not be that she has th right to ask? That this one "right" is impractical is a bit hypocritical dont ya think?
I think that inlaws are not technically the wife's responsibility because in Quran we are all instructed to be loving and compassionate and respectful, esp towards elders, w/o discrimination, so I would think in laws fall into that and caring for them is a given, no? .. If there's a situation that they're sick or unable to care for themselves, then she ought to help take care of them in whatever way she can, but if she does it's extra, shes not just fulfilling a "duty".. i hope that made sense..
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
unless the wife really has a genuine problem living with in-laws i see no reason why a husband shud be forced to get his wife a separate home....
in-laws r not the problem of the wife, but imagine what the wife will do alone if the in-laws r sick and need attending to and the husband is over at the parents' house looking after them????
wont she be better off living in a separate portion in the same house????
actually i agree with what Armughal said in terms of practicality from the husband/son point of view. Personally I think it is best for the wife to live in a separate home.... for many reasons. The main reason being privacy. But the question is will he be able to manage 2 households? what is best for the husband? doesnt his opinion count as well? What if he feels stressed out from having to take care of 2 separate households..having to go back and forth from one home to another? should we as a wife/wife to-be think about our husband as well and his comfort? afterall if he is stressed out cant that cause stress on the husband-wife relationship as well. So whether we decide to live with the in-laws or w/o ...it can cause problems.
Re: [Islamic Ruling] Woman's right to separate housing
If one has the means to have his wife live at a separate residence and if this is what she wants, and the husband denies it, then I wonder if that would be Islamically permissible.
As a husband/man you may not find any problem or may not realize what the wife and mother in-law may go through all day with each other. To a husband all such problems could be easily worked out; however, such is not the case. Had it really been that way, then I'm sure there would've been an Islamic ruling outlawing a wife requesting for a separate residence.
In addition, what if the wife has old parents that are to be looked after, would the husband be willing to move in with the wife's parents or would he be willing to have his wife's parents move in with him?
If Islam has given a wife the freedom to choose under the circumstances that a husband can afford and accomodate her, then why put a restriction on it?
I’m surprised at your comments on this one :no: