First of all I completly disagree with the notion that mine or yours work or Knowledge towards religion is anywhere near comparing to the scholars's work. We can choose not to listen and live our lives the way we want but that does not abolish the fact that our "work" towards islam is puny to the level of nonexistance.
Secondly quran is not meant to be a private conversation between te GOd and prophet. When some order is adressed towards prophet it implies to other muslims as well. Same goes for the prophet's wives. We are also asked to live our lives in manner of the prophet. There are so many examples from quran where prophet is addressd but it goes for all muslims.
Anyway as I have said everyone can choose to live however they want because in the end everyone is responsible of his/her own acts. But the fact remains that we have absolutely molded the religion to our needs,what fit our lifestyle and satisfy our conscious and we do not like when told that it may be wrong in anyway. Calling a spade a spade is very difficult however it amazes me that kal kay bachay start to challange the work done with through research and start acting like the Islam police.