Re: Islam and marital rape...
Sometimes a spouse may just talk their way into engaging into it even though the other is not in the mood, I would not go around calling that rape.
USR, this is not rape obviously... you are respecting your spouse as a human-being by not forcing this on him/her (yes the woman is a human being and may want to have "sex" while the man doesn't) and it will definitely not incite fear on either side... as such, both husband and wife should also know when to back off. Marriage must have the element of mutual respect; I do not think this is in debate. Hopefully you don't either.
RAPE has a different purpose and the purpose is to brutally force the victim into something, (including but not limited to sex,) whether it is your wife, or some random lady.