Islam and Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Dushwari · May 24, 2006, 10:53am

Re: Islam and Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Islam is a religion of peace and love - not love making in the literal sense.

being hit by adulthood, does not mean, u let loose ur control over ur self-respect.

i do agree that things change, ppl sin and ppl revisit their past mistakes in confused states of guilt and longing.

but those people are few as well. pls note, i am not condoning having a male or female escort - a friend-cum-spouse

but,

simply this: a good mutual friendship that is defined by ethical rules of limits of involvement with the civil and private matters of a fellow citizen - who happen to be from opposite gender.

in work, in academia, in ur neighbourhood, a friend from across the continents, a dearly respected advisor, all have the benefit of doubt as potential mate.

but, how many times, such odd and unnatural relationship develops? a good person - a chaste person - will not even think about such a possibility.

the very basis of the relationship in these cases in solely found by give and take of respect.

our biological differences, our shame, our sense of control and pride, even our desires are nothing in front of a "good, pure and honest" friendship.

for clarity's sake, i define platonic friendship between members of opposite gender as a mutual accord of trust and honesty.
that is all that it should have. ugly or no ugly - even a stranger will make u feel go away and not interact with her/him if they are unhygienic. how can we have a friend who is unhygienic?

safaee nisf iman hey!

and the murderer instance - my philosophy and logic teacher always said - u need one right to make all wrongs, WRONG. to prove someone wrong, we need evidence.

Islam also condemns - bigotry and slander and labile.
no wonder, so many muslims are always gossiping and back biting and creating stories that are a direct harm, and a much greater harm to someone's reputation and personal position as a well-respected young or old single person - only because in her circle of influence there happen to be men her - young or old. is it not rotten?
[FONT=&quot]
it is well taken that society needs clearly established rules to govern private and civil dealings of its citizens to make sure there is no wrong doing.

but when the whole balance is lop-sided with other aspects of male-female relations even within marriages, there is no better way, than for each one of us to guard our own backs. - i think so.

and if u sense that ur dost is being on to something else - clarify or if ur convictions make u stay away - then do so, without any qualms.

i would rather marry a dost, who is on the same page with me, than marry a total stranger.

that is why Allah has given us ability to speak and speak our minds, with reason. unless u get to know someone, how can u begin a relationship - even simple friendship with them?

i hope i make sense to u, deedawar.

best,

DUSH.