A guy having bad grammar/ a lesser education than you a reason to say no to an otherwise perfectly good rishta? With the major rishta issues going on these days…you have really got to learn to be more open minded and welcoming of the rishtas that do come. I know its a small issue, but seriously why can’t guys get their grammar correct?! It gets annoying and to have to correct them every ten minutes would be like me being equivalent to his mother. Sometimes I wish girls weren’t more picky in regards to the little things, it would make life so much easier. My sister says I’m being too picky becasue everything else about them is alright…but it never hurts to be a college grad and then sound like it too, does it?!
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Discuss with him your concerns. When you say grammar in what ways do you mean? Maybe it is something that will improve with time. Maybe you will have effect on him. Is it something that affects communication between both of you? How would it affect your rishta? If everything is good think more about it before saying no to anything.
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It's a huge turn off, and if there is a huge turn off, it's hard to proceed forward.
If you had a 2 cm mole on your face, and the guy looked at you, and thought... "grosssssssssss", wouldn't it make sense for you and your family to pitch in some money and just get it removed so you could get better rishtas? Would you blame the guy for not pursuing the rishta on grounds of poor sexual attraction? No.
So, then why does everyone get upset when a girl denies a guy based on the way he talks. For a woman, sexual interaction is much more dependent on a mental connection - if you can TALK to the guy all day long and never get enough that's a good sign.
If you talk, and you don't know what to say to him because you can't understand him, or his english or urdu gets on your nerves, then the minute he touches you, you're going to snap at him.
At least I will. They can't talk english --> turn off.
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would a poet douchebag do?
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Grammatical errors and changing oneself physically are two different things!!
That rishta is not worth it where I have to change myself physically for them just so I can look attractive to him. Tomorrow he may want me to change something else....there is no end to it.....hell no!!
As for bad English being a turn off, it's your choice.....don't proceed. Simple.
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Grammar is a matter of personal preference.
Level of education is a matter of confidence.
My dadi had a masters degree and but my dada never went to university (in his own words, he was too stupid to pass the entrance exams). Though his father was a university professor, so he grew up in an educated environment.
My brother has a bachelor's degree and his wife has a masters. That isn't an issue for them.
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is this some new trend of rejecting potential rishtas on the basis of language skills these days? 
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^ Well better and more justified than rejecting a rishta based on skin tone (fairness, gori-ness, kaali-ness) or her body weight, or her curvy or lack of curvy figure, or whether or not she is a skilled chef at the age of 20, or her age.
At least the education will have a huge impact on family life and quality of life, and the kids.
Although to be honest, some of the smartest and successful kids, oddly come from the most stupid parents. Maybe they take their HW to their parents and realize it’s a lost cause, and end up doing it themselves and being independent. LMAO, that’s what happened to one cousin of mine, he knew his dad was totally useless.
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It's a huge turn off, and if there is a huge turn off, it's hard to proceed forward.
If you had a 2 cm mole on your face, and the guy looked at you, and thought... "grosssssssssss", wouldn't it make sense for you and your family to pitch in some money and just get it removed so you could get better rishtas? Would you blame the guy for not pursuing the rishta on grounds of poor sexual attraction? No.
So, then why does everyone get upset when a girl denies a guy based on the way he talks. For a woman, sexual interaction is much more dependent on a mental connection - if you can TALK to the guy all day long and never get enough that's a good sign.
If you talk, and you don't know what to say to him because you can't understand him, or his english or urdu gets on your nerves, then the minute he touches you, you're going to snap at him.
At least I will. They can't talk english --> turn off.
I agree language skills are important and so is communication. It's a skill you need for more than just a relationship. If a guy is willing to improve not only for rishta but also for future job prospects, it might be premature to dismiss him early. Also grammatical mistake in writing or verbally.
I disagree with any physically invasive process to improve attraction. Apart from attracting a rishta that has no other use whereas
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My ex was supposedly a masters degree holder in English literature and yet he had this incessant habit to use the word THE in every sentence. So his sentences would go something like ' my name is blogs and I attend the college on the **Mondays and **the Tuesdays. My mother is the home maker and my father is the shopkeeper. I come from the Pakistan. I like to do **the **karate.
Aaaarggghhhh would annoy me soo much. Oh and he loved to use Shakespeare language so words such as Alas and weeping and forsooth and thine own self *and * knows what else!!! I felt like throttling him every time.
He said but Pakistani's love **the **Shakespeare. I said well then I aint a Pakistani then cus I cant stand Shakespeare and I hate the Queens old English. Lol
Oh and just in case any of you are thinking was that the only reason I left him then NO I wasn't that stupid. I did force myself to keep my annoyance in check over that, but it was other much more evil n sinister traits that I couldn't forgive him for.
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I don't know...its hard to say.
When I was 19...it made a big difference to me. Now, I don't judge people based on accents because majority of the men that are raised back home in India or Pakistan may have many flaws but there is something very fiercely loyal and honest about them that makes grammar and language skills look like nothing. Its superficial and has nothing to do with the man's character, morals, values, etc. It has the same value as rejecting someone based on skin color.
But then again - attraction is attraction and if you like 'em a certain way then so be it.
Say no...seempal.
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I don't know...its hard to say.
When I was 19...it made a big difference to me. Now, I don't judge people based on accents because majority of the men that are raised back home in India or Pakistan may have many flaws but there is something very fiercely loyal and honest about them that makes grammar and language skills look like nothing. Its superficial and has nothing to do with the man's character, morals, values, etc. It has the same value as rejecting someone based on skin color.
But then again - attraction is attraction and if you like 'em a certain way then so be it.
Say no...seempal.
I agree the deeper qualities of loyalty, character and good morals over come the superficial. In this regard we desi guys are the awesome :)
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would a poet douchebag do?
Lol
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Omg I didn't know that someone could actually speak like that. It reminds me of that funny character in an Indian movie... I think it was Salam Namaste and it was a comedy role played by the main judge on that dancing show boogie woogie... Javed somebody. Anyway his role had nothing to do with the films story, they just stuck him in there between scenes and it was really funny. You should try to find a clip of it or something I think it'll crack u up. Btw did u ever tell him about that... Like ask why he stuck so many the's in there? And whether his masters professor approved of his "the" usage? I think he was using Shakespeare on u cuz that's what he knew... The poor guy was trying to woo u (thats probably what they make u read at university or something, they made us read it in school (British curriculum) and do character descriptions and summaries and what not, stupid stuff) and turns out he did the exact opposite.
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Here’s the link javed jafrrey in salaam namaste very funny! - YouTube
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would a poet douchebag do?
Butt, I am beginning to feel there is no reason for me to be here. You are doing a good enough job.
On the topic:
You have to be clear in the questions you ask even yourself.
Bad grammar and having less education are two different things. Instead of me lecturing you how to ask and think clearly I am just going to tell you what to ask.
Is his grammar bad?
Is his grammar really that bad?
Is he just a high school graduate?
Is he not a professional?
How do you truly define a perfect rishta?
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I don't know...its hard to say.
When I was 19...it made a big difference to me. Now, I don't judge people based on accents because majority of the men that are raised back home in India or Pakistan may have many flaws but there is something very fiercely loyal and honest about them that makes grammar and language skills look like nothing. Its superficial and has nothing to do with the man's character, morals, values, etc. It has the same value as rejecting someone based on skin color.
But then again - attraction is attraction and if you like 'em a certain way then so be it.
Say no...seempal.
I agree with you Reha. I used to think the same way. However, I met this guy at work, who is a VP in the company. Amazing guy but still talks with an accent. That made me realize that accent counts as something superficial. Unfortunately he is married lol.
What many women going on and on about every possible thing that is wrong with desi guys don't realize is that they are very loyal and loving. Also, English is a "language". Having bad grammar or an accent doesn't mean that person is uneducated. I have seen many white women marrying Pakistani guys with horrible English. So I don't understand what it is with us desi girls. I guess that back home mentality is so ingrained in us, that if a person who can't speak proper English is somehow inferior to people who can.
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Education=grammer?
So what does having an ‘education’ exactly to do with the ‘accent/grammar’?? How do you define education?
Someone who is knowledgeable, competent at the profession and job he has, has manners and tameez AND has poor grammar… you classify that person as having no education?? Really?
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Education=grammer?
So what does having an 'education' exactly to do with the 'accent/grammar'?? How do you define education? Someone who is knowledgeable, competent at the profession and job he has, has manners and tameez AND has poor grammar............... you classify that person as having no education?? Really?
I would agree with the ^.
If you have the right to reject someone based on their accent or wrong grammar, then so does the other person to reject someone for their weight, complexion or whatever. To be honest, both sides would count as being superficial and I say that while accepting that I would also have an issue with someone who has a very thick accent or who can't communicate well in English.
Accent/Grammar doesn't validate for good education.
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I don't know...its hard to say.
When I was 19...it made a big difference to me. Now, I don't judge people based on accents because majority of the men that are raised back home in India or Pakistan may have many flaws but there is something very fiercely loyal and honest about them that makes grammar and language skills look like nothing. Its superficial and has nothing to do with the man's character, morals, values, etc. It has the same value as rejecting someone based on skin color.
But then again - attraction is attraction and if you like 'em a certain way then so be it.
Say no...seempal.
This! That's exactly what I was going to say. When I was 18 or 19 things like that really bothered me. Now I'm married to a guy who grew up in Pakistan and has an accent. He did spend time in the UK and his English has improved, but he still makes a lot of grammatical mistakes. He is willing to learn though and always asks me to help correct him. It really just comes down to compatibility, how caring and loving he is and other majors points. In the end if it still bothers you then it's up to you. Sometimes what we desire now might not even matter down the road.
In terms of less educated. Then how less educated is he than you? Is a bachelors vs masters situation?
One more thing, accents and poor grammar doesn't mean the person is less educated. I had professors and graduate TAs in uni that no one could comprehend, but they were highly intelligent.