There's a difference between helping your spouse realize their true worth and potential which makes them feel good about themselves versus making them suffer in situations out of pressure.
Good point! I have sort of an opposite problem with my hubby---he's got such an extreme sense of duty that he works himself into the ground out of self-pressure, not pressure from me or anyone else. Plus he's been thinking of going back to school to get a degree in a field that would most likely bore him to tears but make more $. I've spent a lot of time talking to him about how I want him to be in a career where he's happy and to not focus so much on the money. I tell him about this old Arabic film song that says something like, "Even in a bird's nest I'll be happy as long as you're with me." :)