Money doesnt and shouldnt make a marriage...but it certainly can break one.
That being said...I do not believe it has anything to do with the profession a man has, but his ambition, goals and drive.
Good..except that education and profession of the man does matter.
If the man really has ambition and potential then nothing wrong there.
A rich dude at the time of marriage may even lose the jobe a month after marriage or vice versa.
Not an uncommon scenario when family gets the girl married to a rich person with great job and later for one reason or other he loses job and they live off on minimal income.
Wow!! Working to earn a living to provide for your family is considered being a mule??
I think the title of the thread is inappropriate… the questions asked within the thread are not
PCG… to be very honest, I wouldn’t have married a guy still studying for a degree, I got married at the age of 28. Both of us work and so if one decided to pursue a higher degree now, it will easily work out as we will have at least one source of income. (In fact I’ve been pushing my husband to go get an MBA, but he’s not interested.)
Otherwise (if only he was working), there are too many responsibilities on my husband’s shoulders (including his parents’) to just up and leave his work and go study for whatever reasons… no responsible adult would do that. But if we could scrape by while he was studying, it would also be fine then. It all depends on whether we could survive and fulfill our family’s basic needs on that income or not.
Whatever career he has, make sure you both are on the same wavelength. If you want to live in a penthouse in a good neighborhood while he is perfectly happy living in a cramped studio in a ghetto, reevaluate and determine whether it's worht it or not.
Does it classify as abuse, if you're making your husband work in a job he doesn't like so you can have more money?
Because in CM's closed thread, men found this idea to be total abuse. It's interesting the ladies here do not see it as abuse, but rather a fiscal responsibility.
Gents, how do you feel about it? Is it abuse if your wife says - look, I want you to get an MBA so I don't need to work and we can have more money. Or if your in-laws don't let you complete a degree, and make you work at a gas station?
I wouldn't make my husband do something he didn't want to himself. It wouldn't last...it would affect him negatively in many ways. I know many women who live so beyond their means that their husbands have no choice but to work over time to cover the extra expenses so much so that these men have no time to sit and enjoy any of it. That's mean and selfish. But sadly I have seen it happen a lot.
There's a difference between helping your spouse realize their true worth and potential which makes them feel good about themselves versus making them suffer in situations out of pressure.
There's a difference between helping your spouse realize their true worth and potential which makes them feel good about themselves versus making them suffer in situations out of pressure.
Good point! I have sort of an opposite problem with my hubby---he's got such an extreme sense of duty that he works himself into the ground out of self-pressure, not pressure from me or anyone else. Plus he's been thinking of going back to school to get a degree in a field that would most likely bore him to tears but make more $. I've spent a lot of time talking to him about how I want him to be in a career where he's happy and to not focus so much on the money. I tell him about this old Arabic film song that says something like, "Even in a bird's nest I'll be happy as long as you're with me." :)
I dont think either one of us could make each other do anything we didnt like.. for too long.
But, as Niksik said, there is a difference between helping one another realise their potential and trying to force them to do something they dont want to do
I got married when I was 18, right out of HS. So it wasn't like I was bringing home 6 figures. However a few family friends realized the situation I was in and knew the girl I married was a typical gold digger, got me hooked up in an Asset Management firm and I became a broker. Now i'm making incredible amounts of money and can support my wife with the riches she initially married me for.
Seef how can she married you for riches when you didn't even have them in the first place ... unless she had a crystal ball that could tell her hte future in which case i think i kno how you're making incredible amounts of money in ur asset management firm
When our society is telling us that its the womans job to be at home and raise kids and husbands responsibility to earn, then how can you blame a woman for thinking this way?
If im the best housewife ever taking care of all my husbnads needs such as cooking, cleaning, being nice to HIS parents and other inlaws, being obediant, always agreeing to what he says, and most importantly raising his children, then he better be the best husband earning atleast 100K.
Quite frankly, you get what you pay for.
If you are a plastic surgeon making over 500k (thats average for most of them), then you can demand the most obediant houswife.
(Almost all my friends are looking to marry doctors in the near future. Thats the criteria for good husbands these days)
If you are a psych major currently lookin at a job paying 30k, why do you deserve a good wife?
Good..except that education and profession of the man does matter.
If the man really has ambition and potential then nothing wrong there.
A rich dude at the time of marriage may even lose the jobe a month after marriage or vice versa.
Not an uncommon scenario when family gets the girl married to a rich person with great job and later for one reason or other he loses job and they live off on minimal income.
Wealth and life are very unpredictable.
And would it be terribly wrong for the woman to have amition and career? why this dependence on men to provide?
Seef how can she married you for riches when you didn't even have them in the first place ... unless she had a crystal ball that could tell her hte future in which case i think i kno how you're making incredible amounts of money in ur asset management firm
Because i'm smart, Straight A student and she saw the potential. She isn't a dummy who goes for the bad boys.
I get I now. Guys are mules so PCG is a cow. I was wondering how cow had anything to do with the topic.