We all have expectations and there’s nothing wrong with it.
But how you express yourself regarding these expectations goes a long way towards determining your reputation (that is, whether you’re perceived as shallow or not).
From what you’ve written, it doesn’t sound shallow at all…it sounds like a reasonable request. You’re used to a certain way of living and even Allah SWT has prescribed that one of the husband’s responsibilities is to support his wife in the manner to which she is accustomed. Now if you’d written something like, “OMG ewww! I would NEVER marry some lazy bum who earns less than me”, well, then being called shallow would be the least of your worries.
But keep an open mind. Don’t write someone off before you even meet them. Because all those comforts that you are used to may seem important now, but they’re no where near as valuable as the peace of mind and happiness you’ll have with someone you truly love and who truly loves you right back.
:k:
I rejected a rishta because I didn’t think we were compatible in many other areas too but this was one of them. I would have been taking 4 steps down had I have married him and I know I couldn’t deal with such a lifestyle change. So why put both families through that?