I got called unreasonable and shallow because I said I expect to marry a man on the same financial level as me, if not higher. What I meant to say is that, I want to live the same kind of life I do now, with similar comforts and with the opportunity to extend those comforts (by working myself if I have to).
Am I being unfair when I say, I don’t want to downgrade my lifestyle?
Re: Is this unreasonable?
Wait..
Let me guess this is your first Life1 thread right? 
Re: Is this unreasonable?
Nope, I’ve dared to open a few 
I got called unreasonable and shallow because I said I expect to marry a man on the same financial level as me, if not higher. What I meant to say is that, I want to live the same kind of life I do now, with similar comforts and with the opportunity to extend those comforts (by working myself if I have to).
Am I being unfair when I say, I don’t want to downgrade my lifestyle?
No KP... you are not selfish or anything.. But I must say this is very nice of you to think about this in the begning.. i have seen couple of girls in my family to got married to guys who were from a bit middle class family and girls we from rich family.. first they thought they can live with.. But after marriage problems start growing like they liked to eat out everyday and the guys family wanted to go out for dinner only on weekeds and other problems.. so i think girl or guy should start think about this before marriage..
Re: Is this unreasonable?
i thought we were proud to be shallow ppl
Re: Is this unreasonable?
:@:
We all have expectations and there's nothing wrong with it.
But how you express yourself regarding these expectations goes a long way towards determining your reputation (that is, whether you're perceived as shallow or not).
From what you've written, it doesn't sound shallow at all...it sounds like a reasonable request. You're used to a certain way of living and even Allah SWT has prescribed that one of the husband's responsibilities is to support his wife in the manner to which she is accustomed. Now if you'd written something like, "OMG ewww! I would NEVER marry some lazy bum who earns less than me", well, then being called shallow would be the least of your worries. ;) But you obviously didn't.
But keep an open mind. Don't write someone off before you even meet them. Because all those comforts that you are used to may seem important now, but they're no where near as valuable as the peace of mind and happiness you'll have with someone you truly love and who truly loves you right back.
if u keep caring about what other people think so much they will not let u live
you're not shallow. you're smart and practical just like me.
I also plan on marrying a girl whose dad is filthy rich. and then I'm going to live off of her/her dad's money. Inshallah.
Its the right decision to make if you know that you won't be able to adjust in a family of a lower status than your own family. Why knowingly drag yourself into something that you know won't work?
On the other hand, we need to realise that money doesn't always buy us comfort.
Re: Is this unreasonable?
Yup that's what I mean, is it not better to reject someone who you know can't provide you with the kinda life you wanna lead, than marry and then get wrapped up in the roz kay jagray about money?
Re: Is this unreasonable?
Like someone else said, it definitely depends on the way you say it too.
A girl (and her family) should look at the guy's potential too and not only what he is earning at that specific point. A guy coming straight out of college may not have much earning power...but he has the potential to, with several years of experience.
At the same time you have to expect the fact that rizQ is written for you. You could marry someone who is earning well, but lets say if he loses his job or the market goes bad (like right now), he turns out to be a kanjoos makhi or just a ny other bad luck.....you may have to accept the reality that you won't be able to live the way you do right now.
Like someone else said, it definitely depends on the way you say it too.
A girl (and her family) should look at the guy's potential too and not only what he is earning at that specific point. A guy coming straight out of college may not have much earning power...but he has the potential to, with several years of experience.
At the same time you have to expect the fact that rizQ is written for you. You could marry a smart, ambitious person but if you guys get hit with bad luck you may have to accept the reality that you won't be able to live the way you do right now.
And btw, about your point, for the most part the daily fights about money would happen if the guy was being extra kanjoos. There are some dudes who earn well and are getting by but can still be very very kanjoos.
My friend's husband who happens to be a lawyer fits this category perfectly
Re: Is this unreasonable?
My hugz worth a million 
But KP I always imagined you in lacha kurta , washing majain
.
Not shallow at all…a girl has every right to decide about her future.
When the boys make demands and their mothers are out to find a “chand ka tukra”…well, the "chand ka tukra " has demand of her own 
I don’t know why financial talk from a girl is met with such distaste??? And since its one of the bigger issues where fights occur after marriage it should be handled before the wedding.
Re: Is this unreasonable?
If a kala mota tinda can demand for a beautiful chiti gori girl with long hair aur haan patli bhi ho then a girl has every right to have some requirements
No, I don't think you're being unreasonable. Sometimes a considerable disparity in a couple's salary can even lead to ego/insecurity issues.
As far as "shallow" is concerned, I think all or many of us can be shallow about different things.
Re: Is this unreasonable?
Sorry if I am wrong but there is some hadees that one should marry in a family of same status . So yea KP (you broke 
) you can ask for a guy who is loaded 
App ko bari aag lagi ha . . . khair ha ? 