my SIL comes over almost every day, she works near so is here 3 to 4 times a week, and then her hubby comes to pick her up after he finishes work. she sometimes stays over too.
she was over today, and as usual mil, her mother, treats her like the flaming queen of arabia.; she wants everyone to literally bow down to her daughter, forever telling me how great she is, and only her daughter can be ill/tired/in takleef. i was pregnant and sick and yet mil didnt once ask me how i was, her daughter can just have a headache and her mum will run down the house looking for paracetmol. anyway, a few times mil has asked me to `ask her daughter if she wants anything to eat or drink etc.
today again, MIL came over to me and told me that ussein kuch puch liya karo na bichari, kuch kaaney peeno ko, mehmaan hai woh…and she went on. and about it.
she has said this previously too.
why should i treat her daughter likethat, constantly asking her if shes ok, wants anything to drink, etc, i cant imagine my mum ever EVER telling my brothers wife to treat ME like that and ask ME thuis stuff, infact my mum would tell me off if i ever expected this and would tell me to get off my own backside and make tea and not expect my bhabi to mAKE it
you know u cant do anything in such situation except ignoring her!! I know what you go through because I have been in the same shoe for last a couple of years.. waqat guzr jayega sab set hojayega!!
I dnt want anything anymore from mil, she just grinds on my nerves, my teeth are set in a grinding form whnever she speaks. i ignore her now. just wanted to know wether the obsession with her daughter is normal, and what she expects of me is normal or just rude for me to prance around her daughter. its her daughters home for gods sake she can make her own tea.
lol, her obsession with her daughter is absolutely normal or atleast according to me.. My MIL treats her daughter as pariyo ki raani too and yet, yea I cant get ill or sick! because I am not a human!!
sorry to say yeh sirf app ki tang dilli ki baat hai. kissi ghar aye hue mehman ka haal poochne se ya paani poochne se koi chote baap ka nhi ho jata. And you cant expect to be treated as princess unless u treat others as princess as well.
nadz sis, i m also in a same situation....aap ki to aik nand ati hai to yeh haal hai yahan do do ati hein
aik job karti hai aur us ki aik saal ki beti mujhe hi sunbhalni parti hai even jab saas pak gayi thin for 2 months tab bhi zoh meray pass chor jati thi
aur job se woh seedha yahin ati hai beti ko lenai aur kha pi k aur ha;ein taqreeban sula k jati hai ufff
aur dosri ka hal bhi aisa hi hai---din min aik ki beti ki baby sitting hoti hai aur raat mein dosri k ----k us k do bachay hein aur woh sunbhal nai sakti so aik ko yahan chor jati hai k khud khuch relax ho sakay
aisay lag raha hai kisi jahanum mein reh rahi hn
oper se hubby g hein jinhon ne kabhi seedhay mon baat nai ki
lekin phr bhi mon se aik harf nai nikal saktay aur guzar rahay hein zindagi k din chahay jaisay bhi!
pinkkk your patiecne is admirable. there aint many people like you.
nadz, doesnt hurt really. just a verbal offer. sometimes do it, sometimes dont. in any way, it just makes you sound a bit more courteous. would you mind that really?
Ask if she has roza. If not, then offer her something.
Just like you want to be asked how you’re feeling etc, I’m sure she does too.
It wouldn’t hurt to just ask. She’s your hubby’s sister, so you too have a relation with her.
Think about it, if one of your family members came over, you would ask them how they were, and if they wanted anything… Right?
nadz sis, i m also in a same situation....aap ki to aik nand ati hai to yeh haal hai yahan do do ati hein
aik job karti hai aur us ki aik saal ki beti mujhe hi sunbhalni parti hai even jab saas pak gayi thin for 2 months tab bhi zoh meray pass chor jati thi
aur job se woh seedha yahin ati hai beti ko lenai aur kha pi k aur ha;ein taqreeban sula k jati hai ufff
aur dosri ka hal bhi aisa hi hai---din min aik ki beti ki baby sitting hoti hai aur raat mein dosri k ----k us k do bachay hein aur woh sunbhal nai sakti so aik ko yahan chor jati hai k khud khuch relax ho sakay
aisay lag raha hai kisi jahanum mein reh rahi hn
oper se hubby g hein jinhon ne kabhi seedhay mon baat nai ki
lekin phr bhi mon se aik harf nai nikal saktay aur guzar rahay hein zindagi k din chahay jaisay bhi!
to app kiyon nahi job kar laiti aur apnay bacho ko unkay han chor diay karian. phophee ka bhi haq hota hia bhai kay bachon ko sambhalna
Nadz, you wrote a thread title "closed minded" .. perhaps you're closed hearted. I honestly dont see how it affects your zaat that your MIL is running after her daughter like a puppy. Plus, if she tells you to ask her for drink or whatever, there is nothing wrong. It just shows that you're the Gharwali. Take the charge. And please stop comparing how your mother and SIL treats you compared to how you and your MIL treat your nand. Insaan ke naseeb mein jo hota hai, wohi hota hai. To me it honestly seems like you've some complex issue with this nand of yours as you obviously arent able to digest her.
nadz sis, i m also in a same situation....aap ki to aik nand ati hai to yeh haal hai yahan do do ati hein
aik job karti hai aur us ki aik saal ki beti mujhe hi sunbhalni parti hai even jab saas pak gayi thin for 2 months tab bhi zoh meray pass chor jati thi
aur job se woh seedha yahin ati hai beti ko lenai aur kha pi k aur ha;ein taqreeban sula k jati hai ufff
aur dosri ka hal bhi aisa hi hai---din min aik ki beti ki baby sitting hoti hai aur raat mein dosri k ----k us k do bachay hein aur woh sunbhal nai sakti so aik ko yahan chor jati hai k khud khuch relax ho sakay
aisay lag raha hai kisi jahanum mein reh rahi hn
oper se hubby g hein jinhon ne kabhi seedhay mon baat nai ki
lekin phr bhi mon se aik harf nai nikal saktay aur guzar rahay hein zindagi k din chahay jaisay bhi!
This is so wrong on so many levels, I dont know where to start. Kisne di hai unhe itni choti ke wo raat ko bhi apni bachi ko chod jaati hain?
I don't know if nadz particular situation is cos she's, well nadz...but I do feel like there is an injustice that Paki MIL's have when it comes to their own daughter vs their DIL. I'm not saying a MIL would ever love her DIL as if it were her own daughter - but I would hope that she'd extend the same kindness/understanding when it comes to certain situations (DIL is tired/ill etc).
I was being sympathetic with Nadz because I know certain things she didnt write, but normally happens and in Pakistan, there are rarely good MILs who really consider their DIL as own daughter!!
I don't know if nadz particular situation is cos she's, well nadz...but I do feel like there is an injustice that Paki MIL's have when it comes to their own daughter vs their DIL. I'm not saying a MIL would ever love her DIL as if it were her own daughter - but I would hope that she'd extend the same kindness/understanding when it comes to certain situations (DIL is tired/ill etc).
Absolutely true, but it honestly is a two-way street. I think much of the same could be said about DILs vs. MILs vs. their own mothers.
^No SM, its not a two-way street, and I had the same statement as you gave above before getting married. Sometimes, even you being very good to such relations, they dont consider you worthy!! thats really weird and worst in Pakistan!!
khud ko to larki laani hay.. 
