Massis for taking care of your kids? I am going to pak soon with my little one IA. And atleast a couple of ppl have told me to hire a massi to take care of my daughter. I dont get it, why? I have never had a massi work me, like ever, and most likely never will. I take care of my daughter by myself here (unless hubs is home) so why cant i do it there? Plus my inlaws just love her ofcourse and they will gladly do anything for her if need be. Is this a new trend that i am missing?
Re: is this is a new trend?
Its a status symbol nowadays. Think of it, if you are entering a party with 80K suit and 20K facial and hairdo, why in this world would you hold your child in your arm to mess up your expensive getup. You better have a maid pushing the stroller behind you with your baby in it.
Re: is this is a new trend?
LOL.. kitna zabardast naqsha khencha hai !!!
Re: is this is a new trend?
When I was in the Far East, the expat Pakistanis (from Pakistan, not the States) would party every Friday and Saturday until the early morning. Their kids would be at home with the nannies. EVERY weekend.
Very, very weird.
Re: is this is a new trend?
I don't think it's new. I remember mothers with multiple kids in Pak would keep a young girl to help them. Ammi never did that tho.
Re: is this is a new trend?
its an old trend but its only become common cuz now everyone is hiring a masi to take care of their kids.
its nto all bad i think... u feed the kid u do everything for the kid.. but just for a bit u want to breathe... i would gladly let a maid take my son off of my hands just to play around with a bit
during summer i was visiting my folks and they have a maid since my mom's health doesnt permit her to wash teh marble flooring nor vaccuum. so for heavy duty stuff she has an indonesian maid
so my son was 5 months when i got there and the maid was dyign to play with him since she couldnt have any kids of her own.. initially it was just to satisfy her need that i would let her play with him... but soon i was asking her to take him off of my hands just so i could get some stuff done..she would take him out to play with the cats and chase them etc..or when we were all eating, and the midget would start to act up.. instead of tossing him in our laps one by one trying to get the odd nivalas in our mouth, she woudl sit and play with him.. or hold him... thats all she did .. play with him.
thinking back. i wouldnt mind having the option of having someoe to help me out a bit.
this maid business may escape someone who hasnt been exposed to such things in life.. but for someone who grew up with having a maid... its nto such a big deal.
Re: is this is a new trend?
I think I can count on one hand the number of times we've used a babysitter...and that was a family member and only when there was no other option.
Our town has lots of wealthy folk though and even if those moms dont work, they have nannies and housekeepers. I dont like the idea, even if I could afford it...my boys just love having mom around for them and I love being there.
For parties and weddings though...I think sometimes a babysitter can be a good idea, bring the sitter along to the function with the kids if the mom wants to enjoy a bit. I've gone to functions of family and friends and never visited, relaxed or really enjoyed because I was glued to my kids, making sure they learned the ropes of how to behave and toed the line of proper behavior. Sometimes, parents dont do this and it takes away enjoyment for everyone with kids running wild while moms yap it up.
I was in Pakistan not quite two years ago, and the family I stayed with in Defense, Karachi had a birthday party for their son. The parents of the other kids (the invitees) came with the massis in tow so they could freely socialize and jab kahna khatam ya kam pargaya, they said, massion nay kah liya 
Apparently, amongst this same social group, the ethnicity of the massis is also a status symbol. Jin kai paas kam paisa hai, unkay domestic, yaani kai Pakistani massis hain. Jin kai paas ziada paisa hai, they have Eastern European or Phillipino nannies.
Kuch hal nahin un logon kay liyey.
I’m not fussed by the idea of having a nanny, but the nanny or massi needs to serve a legitimate purpose - helping care for the child - not taking over all of the childcare and it should definitely not be motivated as a status symbol.
Massis for taking care of your kids? I am going to pak soon with my little one IA. And atleast a couple of ppl have told me to hire a massi to take care of my daughter. I dont get it, why? I have never had a massi work me, like ever, and most likely never will. I take care of my daughter by myself here (unless hubs is home) so why cant i do it there? Plus my inlaws just love her ofcourse and they will gladly do anything for her if need be. Is this a new trend that i am missing?
You don't have to... like I don't....... I leave my daughter with my nands or my siblings (depending on whether I'm at susraal or maika) when I have to get some shopping done... other than that, I don't see the need for a maid/babysitter.
Re: is this is a new trend?
new trend?.. r u joking?.....i have seen it throughout in my life in pakistan .. like massisss helping you to take care of your kids...
.. u r not born or raised in pakistan .. right?.. probably thats why...
Re: is this is a new trend?
nopse not new.. my sister had maids all her life but they are mostly for cleaning purposes.. she does have a livein maid to take care of kids, wash their bottles, feed them, change them if needed, and baji does trust her to even leave the kids at home with her if she has to run an errand! Since she lives alone (wih an over worked husband) and has four young boys it's just a matter of convienience.. it doesn't make her less of a mother!
Now related to your question, I know a friend who went from here to visit her inlaws and had a "massi" there just because she was there for shopping and needed her one and only nand to go with her while prepping for her devar's shadi etc.. her parents in law are pretty old so she would leave the kids at home with mil and massi to go out with nand and devar since she didnt want to drag the lil ones to bazars in summers of Pkistan! It worked for her great once the kids adjusted to it. :-)
Re: is this is a new trend?
ira... u will be goign to prepare for ure brother's wedding... a maid to help out iwht kanzah would be great honestly.. it doesnt make u any less of a mother.. the paki heat is really gonna get to the poor thing.. and dragging her out everyday... i wouldnt leave her completely alone with the maid but if there is a family member looking on.. it can be good
or do what my mumanis do.. tkae the maid with them when they go shopping.. they carry the baby adn handle it so the women can quickly shop without having to stop a million times fix the bags the baby and themselves.. strugglign all the way.
my parents played a lot with aariz but even they were saying they dont have the energy to carry him around whilst he cries or to get down on all 4's to entertain him. a maid really helped me. :)
Re: is this is a new trend?
trend amongst the few well off upper middle class families…dunno
trend amongst the majority, no.. 
Re: is this is a new trend?
i suppose i should have clarified. I didnt meant that hiring a maid makes you less of a mother. That would be like saying that since i have a dishwasher (the machine dishwasher, not my husband :p ) to wash my dishes or a washer to wash my clothes, that makes me less of a wife or means i dont care for my home. It is just that i have never seen anyone do that even in my family in Pak. Half of them dont have maids come in, they do everything themselves. So i am not used to the concept.
Yes i have been born and bred abroad. I remember when i was really young, a relative asked my mom if we have a maid and ammi said no. And their response was, "so who washes the bathrooms?" :D
Re: is this is a new trend?
Ira trust me it's different in Pakistan.. For a working woman, a maid is a must and if a housewife wants to keep one it's her choise.. I lived in Pakistan for a few months after marriage.. since I was in the opposition of keeping the maid as well, I tried to do everything by msyelf.. I developed the dust allergy because of brooming subha shaam.. our house was right on the main road and I had so much dust, paper trash and what not coming in so most of the day I was just brooming and mopping the floors! I had to do dusting EVERY DAY there and here in the US even once a week is okay, I vaccum once a week as well, laundry is soo much easier here.. I tired using those manual washing machines in Pakistan and my back was hurting for days because of all that bending and ringing out the clothes before putting them on clothes line.. later on husband and I did the laundry together because I couldn't manage it. here you put it in and take them out from the dryer.. tadaa it's done! same thing for dish washer, in Pakistan I had guests pop in any time of the day without any prior arrangement.. I swear at times I felt like I was washing dishes all day long.. chai ke bartan, khanay ke bartan etc.. not that I mind doing that here but its not like I just did dishes and a knock on the door, came someone else and I had to go through the chai samosa routine again!!!
My mom had maids as well while we were growing up becuse she was in office from 8am to 4pm.. she always cooked dinner for us and tried to make breakfast as much as possible but it wasn't easy to manage.. if it wasn't for the "khala bano" our house would be a mess!
ahh well, everyone is different.. I dun think I will ever need a maid here in the US but if I were living in Pakistan with children, I would prefer a helping hand because I ain't super woman!
Re: is this is a new trend?
not a new trend ... infact a very old one
Re: is this is a new trend?
Oh, you’re supposed to be going for a wedding… then please please don’t take your child to the bazar, its awful awful awful in the summer. Poor kids crying and all red because of the heat and the flies buzzing around them yucK… I dislike those mothers who torture their kids by taking them to bazars in summer, its different if you’re going to Park Towers, but then thats not for shaadi shopping 
Hiring a maid who takes care of your kid under supervision from a family member is the best option in such a situation :k:
Oh, you're supposed to be going for a wedding..... then please please don't take your child to the bazar, its awful awful awful in the summer.
MIA, The way we are planning it so far is have my abbu take care of her while we are out shopping. The big stuff is already done, i did it on my last trip a few months ago. Just the little things now like choorian, shoes etc for the dulhan.
Gemini, If i was in Pak, i would have had two maids lol. The culture is very different. That being said, i guess maids arent common in our family because most everyone lives in a joint family system so the work is divided. I didnt mean to diss anyone at all, i just didnt expect anyone telling me i need a maid to take care of my child for me. Thats all.
Not a new trend, people have nannies for cleaning and for children.Just status symbol or to be more clear "Chichora pan"
Re: is this is a new trend?
UZ I am offended :p I grew up around maids not because of the chichora pan shown by my mother but out of convienience! Like Ira mentioned, my mom or sis didnt live in a joint family system so they appreciated a helping hand for all the chores that I mentioned above in my post.. Am I the only one who grew up in Pakistan and in fact had to do some household work so I know it's not easy to manage while raising children?
oh well, no offence intended to anyone :-)