Re: is this fair on me or am i being unfair?
Read this book by Steve HArvey: "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man". It covers some of what PSquared is telling you, you have to set your standards from the beginning, to "train" him well if you will. But not even about training, he needs to know what YOU expect, and what you can stand to do/not to do....upfront...before you blow your top off.
If at the end of it, he's not budging, I suggest you rethink if you can live like this forever.