Allhamdullilah I am happily married and living in usa, my inlaws live in Pakistan, very well off, have 3 daughter in laws and one daughter. My parent live here in usa and have one daughter in law. The thing thats bugging me a bit is (or may be a bit too much sumtimes) my parents treat me, my sister and my bhabi the same way. if my mom is to buy something for me, she has to buy it for my sister and my bhabi as well. When my brother got married she gave my bhabi more jewlwery then she gave to us sisters during our weddings. because she says that its her daughter in law and she is suppose to do it more to make her feel comfortable in our family.
on the other side, the jewelry i got from my in laws was minimal. and when my nand got married, she got triple the amount of jewelry from my mother in law then i did form her. I tried to be ok with it as its her daughter and the way she feels whats right is different. we always keeps sending them gifts that they request all the time because my husband feels obligated to do that (besides a good husband he is also a good son and good brother). but in return i always get the cheapest fabric clothes, even if they have seen the dresses i get made for myself and they know i dont wear those kind of clothes. but my nand sends me a dress really cheap made and then 2 weeks later she tells me that she got 5 dresses made from bareeza shop when she was at her moms... (at the same time when she bought my dress). Looking at all this pampering that she gets through, i feel i dont get that kind of pampering from both side neither from my parents nor from my in laws.... am i being over sensitive on this? I feel to my mom i am at the same level as my bhabi, and to my in laws i am just a DIL, who is an outsider... and they gotta do everything they can for their own daughter....... sometimes i get all this anger filled in my for my inlaws that i feel it shouldnt be that way... how do i get rid of these negative feelings besides thing like these happening constantly?
It's okay my dear my mom use to do that kind of things too.
Don't worry be happy.
The problem you have got is all because of your nand. She is continuously teasing you by giving cheap gifts and telling you about hers.
I think you might have told her or you in law about what your mom did or they know it.
Don't give attention to what your SIL says and your problem will be solved.
Sis kisi kay diaay huway cheez say zindagi naheen guzarti so why do give so much value to those things.
One of my sister give lots of gifts to her in laws for almost a decade. She even gave her husband land to them when they asked but they never ever give her a sing penny. Even a single dua but instead gave badduas and kicked her out. She is so careless still love them call them. Force her husband to talk to them. Even her husband don't want to talk to them. Her in laws never calls. Give buddua directly to her. Make false accusations. But still ask for BIG MONEY. She is so careless. She says I'll get reward from Allah.
Se become careless about your in laws specially your SIL behaviour and talking always cut her out when she would start saying things which bother you.
Also become careless about your mom too.
Believe in Allah he will give you gr8 things through your husband Insha Allah.
You become over sensitive about this very stupid matter.
Don't ever ever ever give importance to material. It's nothing.
I know it's hard but not imposible.
So cheer up. Love to give to your in laws to make Allah happy. He will give you more. Beleive me.