Allhamdullilah I am happily married and living in usa, my inlaws live in Pakistan, very well off, have 3 daughter in laws and one daughter. My parent live here in usa and have one daughter in law. The thing thats bugging me a bit is (or may be a bit too much sumtimes) my parents treat me, my sister and my bhabi the same way. if my mom is to buy something for me, she has to buy it for my sister and my bhabi as well. When my brother got married she gave my bhabi more jewlwery then she gave to us sisters during our weddings. because she says that its her daughter in law and she is suppose to do it more to make her feel comfortable in our family.
on the other side, the jewelry i got from my in laws was minimal. and when my nand got married, she got triple the amount of jewelry from my mother in law then i did form her. I tried to be ok with it as its her daughter and the way she feels whats right is different. we always keeps sending them gifts that they request all the time because my husband feels obligated to do that (besides a good husband he is also a good son and good brother). but in return i always get the cheapest fabric clothes, even if they have seen the dresses i get made for myself and they know i dont wear those kind of clothes. but my nand sends me a dress really cheap made and then 2 weeks later she tells me that she got 5 dresses made from bareeza shop when she was at her moms... (at the same time when she bought my dress). Looking at all this pampering that she gets through, i feel i dont get that kind of pampering from both side neither from my parents nor from my in laws.... am i being over sensitive on this? I feel to my mom i am at the same level as my bhabi, and to my in laws i am just a DIL, who is an outsider... and they gotta do everything they can for their own daughter....... sometimes i get all this anger filled in my for my inlaws that i feel it shouldnt be that way... how do i get rid of these negative feelings besides thing like these happening constantly?
jewelry shouldnt make a person feel more welcome in a family... their behaviour towards them should.
Your husband sends gifts.. let him, but that should not mean that they have to give you something... if you want something get it yourself, if the husband says get it from Pakistan itll be cheaper say i will when we go there but till we do i need to get some from here for now.
Also speak to your husband tell him not to tell your nand you love what she sends tell him i dont like it ill never wear it so why make her waste her money in sending something that will just sit around, and ask him why he wants his sister to think you wear bad quality cheap clothes
sometimes turning it around makes a diff, youre still saying the same thing but now instead of it being about you its about someone else, the other person might be more receptive to that