OP... I think people were giving less serious replies earlier because some of us assumed you weren't married long and that the "hitting" was more playful. I sometimes playfully punch or hit my guy friends when they're messing around with me. Or if they have a pillow in their hand, they'll throw it at me.
But after reading that you've been married for 6 years and that you're husband is 35, that's a little odd. Maybe your husband is immature and he thinks he can behave in that way with you due to the age difference? No clue. But if it's been going on for 6 years, it's probably going to take time for him to stop that. Show him the bruises. Go to the extreme and call those bruises "hemorrhages" or something. And you're not a man that you have to "man up" and take the pinching, etc.
What you did was right way to convey your message across. He is angry , because his ego got hurt by your screaming , so be it. He needed to learn the right lesson.
Let him cool down and keep him giving that silent treatment do not budge , he will realize his mistake and he will apologize in the end. He must be as bewildered about this sudden reaction of yours, as you are about his actions, so he is bound to ask some.Trust me he will talk to someone about this too and get advice from his friend or whoever he confides in . I hope he gets the right kind of advice.
If all this does not workout , buy a whip and turn it into a complete S&M for him , if he does not enjoy it he will let you know and mend his ways , I hope.
^In my case ...my post was not a result of me thinking that the "hitting" was playful. Rather I found it annoying that her husband behaves in such a way and my post was intended to a be like a "light-hearted put-him-in-his-place" response....which the OP didn't get. Unfortunately when you respond with serious advice most of the time.....people expect you to be this way all the time and are not as forgiving when you take a more casual approach.
Anyhow, OP, I thought you would have got it but you didn't. Nevertheless my apologies that I offended you. As for your predicament, I would suggest what others have already suggested:
1) Don't smile and laugh at his behavior because that will only encourage him. However you can calmly discuss that you don't feel comfortable and that it's happening way to much....things in moderation and all that.
2) Tell him that you prefer communication with words and mutual listening..........whereas this playful hitting and teasing gets in the way of that. It's a hindrance to constructive communication. Also make the point that there don't have to be bruises left behind in order for something to hurt. Verbal abuse in the form of teashing or mocking doesn't leave visible scars....but it still hurts.
3) If he doesn't get it....then sometimes giving the silent treatment also shows that you are not tolerant of the behavior. And if it only gets worse.....then dare I say it............you could even consider taking a temporary break from him. No, this is not the equivalent of ending the marriage.
OP... I think people were giving less serious replies earlier because some of us assumed you weren't married long and that the "hitting" was more playful. I sometimes playfully punch or hit my guy friends when they're messing around with me. Or if they have a pillow in their hand, they'll throw it at me.
But after reading that you've been married for 6 years and that you're husband is 35, that's a little odd. Maybe your husband is immature and he thinks he can behave in that way with you due to the age difference? No clue. But if it's been going on for 6 years, it's probably going to take time for him to stop that. Show him the bruises. Go to the extreme and call those bruises "hemorrhages" or something. And you're not a man that you have to "man up" and take the pinching, etc.
I don't have any bruises, so he thinks just because there was no bruising or visible injuries, it doesn't hurt. he seriously believes that the way he hits me doesn't hurt despite me telling him many times that it does. He also doesn't care htat I'm "smaller", actually I'm not too small, I'm of average height and weight and I don't look "delicate" at all, so I don't know, he thinks that b/c I look "stronger" than most women, Im supposed to handle slaps and kicks and stuff. and I wouldn't even mind if I got to fight back, but I can't even do that.
As of right now, I think Mirch has good advice for you. After having screamed for something that is right, you shouldn't budge. That will only undermine your authority in the situation. Let him learn the lesson that when you scream like that, you're dead serious about it and there is no way it can continue. You have all the reason to be angry at this.
Whenever both of you calm down (or a couple weeks later), I'd suggest you talk to him about this issue and that this IS getting abusive. If you've been married for 6 years and you don't have any other real serious issues, he's likely a reasonable enough guy. NO reasonable person would like to know that they're being abusive towards their spouse. Let him know that you don't think he is abusive, but you're scared if it doesn't stop, it would be called abuse.
Like above poster said....its none of your business why we don't have kids and it's not relevant. Neither is not having a kid a reason to hit!
but he is acting like child by pinching and tickling. i thought, if he had child then he could feel some sense of responsibility. again it is my thought, you dont need to agree with me.
MangoStrawberry. He sounds like stubborn person. I might be wrong here though. However, you are in tough spot because your husband is not listening to you. What you can do is, have him sit down and say that you don't appreciate being treated like this and if is going to do it again then you will get elders involved. Don't know if it is good idea..hmmm!
We've been married 6 years, the "hitting" has been happening for last 2. before that it was still playful and cheerful but not as often as it is now...and now its just aggressive too.
..............................just once I screamed and he said he never wants to hear my voice again and he's sick of me.
since he was not like that from the begining... u need to know what has changed his behaviour from last 2yrs...... what u two have been missing? and why he needs to be more aggressive to make it more playful? ... ask him what is frustrating him
OP... I think people were giving less serious replies earlier because some of us assumed you weren't married long and that the "hitting" was more playful. *I sometimes playfully punch or hit my guy friends when they're messing around with me. Or if they have a pillow in their hand, they'll throw it at me. *
I don't have any bruises, so he thinks just because there was no bruising or visible injuries, it doesn't hurt. he seriously believes that the way he hits me doesn't hurt despite me telling him many times that it does. He also doesn't care htat I'm "smaller", actually I'm not too small, I'm of average height and weight and I don't look "delicate" at all, so I don't know, he thinks that b/c I look "stronger" than most women, Im supposed to handle slaps and kicks and stuff. and I wouldn't even mind if I got to fight back, but I can't even do that.
I like Mirch's advice. Your hubby probably did get the point.
weird
Not weird at all. Some might interpret it as flirty behavior-- although it's not since I treat them like siblings or really close friends and vice versa. Or it can be seen as immaturity, which I don't deny either.
hmmmm, if this was someone who wasnt ur husband , just a friend, i would assume he had a crush on you. trying to touch you all the time, but yes if its hurts and you staying stop, and he isnt, then surely thats disrespectful. talk to him nicely, and say it does hurt, just please stop. dont say it when he hits you, talk to him at a time when he isnt doing any of it, and mention it.
Everytime he does that, have a dandaah ready, thwack it in his head, after a while he may get the message or become unconcious either way.
On a serious note - tell him that it hurts, you are a women not a man, his strength is greater. You do understand his need to be playful and respect it, but it actually hurts you. This may seem weird to him but he needs to understand. If he is to be playful, perhaps its something to save for the bedroom etc. And even then lay out things etc.
I think there is no point in getting mad, its something that can be talked about calmly and understood. I hope it stops - it does make it out that you guys are a young couple as his behaviour is immature, its something you need clarify to stop such behaviour. If this doesn't work, then I suggest councelling or just buy a crab and release it into the duvet when he is asleep.