They are married for 5 years, have two lovely boys. And just keep haing nasty fights. The wife has a temper. Despite having several attempts by various people to have them calm down and discuss thir problems and focus on solutions they keep fighting. Their marriage has reached a breaking point.
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
Temporary separation might make them realize how much they need each other.
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
Yes!
there is hope.
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
Yes there is hope - if they want to work out issues for the children's interest
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
Mirch-temporary separation has been tried and has not worked, after a little while, its business as usual.
Jimmy- how?
Mirch-temporary separation has been tried and has not worked, after a little while, its business as usual.
Jimmy- how?
Then marriage counseling or intervention by relatives , friends , religious scholars, kids might work.
The thing is both the parties have to realize that there is a problem and that they want to save the marriage .
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
Usually how you respond to a problem become a bigger problem in self then the original problem .
Its not so serious of an issue. If they both recognize the issue, and agree that they DO have it.
Rather then imitating other married ppl's life the would be better off.
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
Hmmm, has professional counseling been tried regularly? How old are the two boys. I saw on the Nadia Khan show, a psychologist who emphasized that if parents wish to get divorced, that they postpone it until kids are older, more mature, and can better comprehend the reasons for divorce. I hope it hasn't come to that yet.
But, how are the kids taking all of this? Are the kids MISERABLE when mom and dad are fighting? OR do the kids actually feel MORE AT PEACE when the parents temporarily SEPARATE or TAKE A BREAK from each other? OR do the kids feel better when mom and dad are together, but normal with each other? This observation might help the couple in making decisions regarding the marriage.
It's a tough situation. On one hand, I feel for the kids. And on the other hand, I feel that if EVERYTHING has been tried to salvage the marriage, and if things continue to get WORSE and EAT AWAY at your peace of mind and soul......then it's better to split if that's what will bring you peace and allow u to be a more happy and effective person....or even parent to your child.
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
yes there is hope as long as they both realise that there is a problem and they need to work on it. One of them should let go of ego & should show some flexibility. Their willingness to seek help from outer elements shows that they both want this relationship to work, which is very important in such conflicts.
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
does that mean husband has equally bad temper too?
Usually guys avoid pressing women's button, Is this guy not capable of identifying what gets her mad?
5 years is long time to know some one.
Or is it he puts up with her and expect her to back of. Cuz women usally don't
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
They need professional help. Is something ticking her off? Is she anxious/stressed about something? Is she insecure about something?
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
Sometimes the woman just has the crazy in her.
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
Well there is always hope. Husband is always the one suffering the most so he is the one who has to just tolerate. Husband has to Just follow these 3 rules:
- DO NOT RESPOND TO HER JIBRISH
- CLOSE YOUR EARS
- FIND SOME OTHER ACTIVITY TO MINIMIZE ENCOUNTER WITH HER.
She will giveup soon but ofcourse she will find something else to make his life miserable again, just GO TO STEP 1 and start over again.
I like to give the poor husband some hope so here it is.
Trust me this life is not very long and will end soon then you will get out of this hell and will go to Jannat for tolerating her. (true for all husbands)
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
What issues are they fighting over? Are they serious or trivial minor stuff? It depends on what the issues are and how they are being addressed. Sometimes it is in the child's best interest for these parents to seperate, instead of witnessing stressful fights all the time.
Well there is always hope. Husband is always the one suffering the most so he is the one who has to just tolerate. Husband has to Just follow these 3 rules:
- DO NOT RESPOND TO HER JIBRISH
- CLOSE YOUR EARS
- FIND SOME OTHER ACTIVITY TO MINIMIZE ENCOUNTER WITH HER.
She will giveup soon but ofcourse she will find something else to make his life miserable again, just GO TO STEP 1 and start over again.
I like to give the poor husband some hope so here it is.
Trust me this life is not very long and will end soon then you will get out of this hell and will go to Jannat for tolerating her. (true for all husbands)
She is not an evil witch, she is mother of her 2 kids.
Husband should avoid her when is angry but other wise pay more attention to her.
When is in mood to enjoy husband need to be there.
I am sure she would not be furious 24/7 cuz that would have killed the woman long time ago.
ps: other than that our advice id good.
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
Do you mean to tell me that 'evil witch' can't give birth ?
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
NiksiK: whenever others mediate, she always points to some stress that causes her outbursts and these are the kinds that are unavoidable, like minor illness, issue with domestic help, problem at work etc.
Pakiamerican: avoidance has NOT worked, many times he has tried to be silent and not answer, in this case she yells that why are you quiet, i am talking to you, if he goes into room, she keeps knocking at door, if he goes to a relative, she keeps calling.
Ofcourse, few days later she wud apologise and say it won't happen again and she was stressed etc etc
Kids ARE being affected by all this.
The guy is almost completely cut off from his family, coz she used to blame them for their fights, so the family minimized contact coz they did not want to be blamed.
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
DD: Just avoiding her won't work. Did I forget to mention that he has to agree with her 100% of the time?
Re: Is there any hope for this couple
DD, then she needs help with stress management. Some people are reactive by nature. She may now be clinically depressed and needs to go on medication. I have seen this happen to a close family member. She's all well now.
Another thing, I don't believe separation works for husband and wife relationships that are already sour. They need to be on this together.
Hubby needs to sit with her and tell her how concerned he is and wants to help her get through it, that he is concerned not just about the kids but her health as well. And convince her to see her doctor. Once he can get her to her physician, they will take it from there. This has to happen.
NiksiK: whenever others mediate, she always points to some stress that causes her outbursts and these are the kinds that are unavoidable, like minor illness, issue with domestic help, problem at work etc.
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She is suffering from depression. These are signs of depression she needs to be seen by a psychiatrist.