hmm … This topic came out in one of my friend’s converstaion and I was too ambarassed to ask any one.
actually i dont think there is.. they can fake it liek its their first time.. .. but i dont think theres any positive way of knowin
You mean "know it" in terms of police investigations or medical examination; or "know it" from the perspective of a lover?
I believe there are some medical procedures, which can quite accurately tell whether a female has had sexual intercourse or not. Otherwise, there are no reliable methods or tell-tale signs to figure it out. People usually think of an unbroken hyman as an evidence of virginity, but it is sketchy evidence, at best.
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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
You mean "know it" in terms of police investigations or medical examination; or "know it" from the perspective of a lover?
I believe there are some medical procedures, which can quite accurately tell whether a female has had sexual intercourse or not. Otherwise, there are no reliable methods or tell-tale signs to figure it out. People usually think of an unbroken hyman as an evidence of virginity, but it is sketchy evidence, at best.
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Ofcoarse one can't ask his finace to goto medical center to find out if she is virgin or not. I want to add one more question since you've brought up the medical test. Is there any medical procedure that can tell if man is a virgin?
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*Originally posted by Asif M. Ali: *
Is there any medical procedure that can tell if man is a virgin?
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I don't think so. Although, ofcourse, I am not a doctor, but it sounds positively implausible.
Returning to your original question, if virginity is of so much importance for you, you should ask the person. If you don't even rely on her answer then you have bigger problems than you realize.
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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
I don't think so. Although, ofcourse, I am not a doctor, but it sounds positively implausible.
Returning to your original question, if virginity is of so much importance for you, you should ask the person. If you don't even rely on her answer then you have bigger problems than you realize.
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I dont have guts to ask a girl in Pakistan if she's virgin or not? do you?
why the need to be so blunt ?
Are you looking for a wife ?
Theres no reason why you couldnt be more subtle when looking for a prospective spouse with questions like
"have you ever been in a physical relatoinship? "
that would give you a good indication, im quite sure.
I mean if the answer was yes, then you know to stay away.
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*Originally posted by eemo: *
why the need to be so blunt ?
Are you looking for a wife ?
Theres no reason why you couldnt be more subtle when looking for a prospective spouse with questions like
"have you ever been in a physical relatoinship? "
that would give you a good indication, im quite sure.
I mean if the answer was yes, then you know to stay away.
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All I am trying to say is if she is already "expereinced" then why she WON'T say no when she knows she can fake it. Is there a way to tell without going to medical procedure if sh's virgin or not?
This issue is imp to me because if i've remain chaste living in US then I do deserve someone who is chaste too. Am i asking for too much?
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*Originally posted by Asif M. Ali: *
This issue is imp to me because if i've remain chaste living in US then I do deserve someone who is chaste too. Am i asking for too much?
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There is no denying that you can deem anything as important or not. Obviously its your life and your choices. Just a friendly (unwanted) advice: there are many other (perhaps more important) things in life, which should impact your decision even more. Trust and honesty for one.
For argument's sake, if your finacee has been in physical relationships and now wishes to settle down with you, she may tell you about it, if you ask. Just because a lot of people will prefer to start a new relationship with honesty and truth. Not lies. If you decide that this is too big of an issue to ignore, that is your choice.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Faisal: *
There is no denying that you can deem anything as important or not. Obviously its your life and your choices. Just a friendly (unwanted) advice: there are many other (perhaps more important) things in life, which should impact your decision even more. Trust and honesty for one.
For argument's sake, if your finacee has been in physical relationships and now wishes to settle down with you, she may tell you about it, if you ask. Just because a lot of people will prefer to start a new relationship with honesty and truth. Not lies. If you decide that this is too big of an issue to ignore, that is your choice.
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I dont even know the what is or will be the difference between a virgin or not-virgin. But if you're in the market to buy a car, wouldn't u prefer the latest model with all the accessories?
ok geeza,
upto the point that u said, u urself are chaste and would prefer someone chaste too . that is fine and is a perfectly reasonable request.
Theres ayah in the quran on this too
But when u start talkin abt buying cars, and having all the accessories, ur changing the woman from honour into object.
Remember, you could meet someone who ISNT a virgin but at least she could promise to be totally honest and upfront with you, and repent for what she has done in the past.
wouldnt you want someone to give u that oppurtunity given if u were in that situation ?
seems to me ur jst embarrassed cos she might be more "experienced", and u wanna save urself the embarrassment.
its understandable
But if you're in the market to buy a car, wouldn't u prefer the latest model with all the accessories?
Please explain to me, how the **** is having a hymen or being virgin equates to "latest model with all the accessories"?
Are you gonna sell "the latest model" five years down the road to another man and get a new one?
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People usually think of an unbroken hyman as an evidence of virginity, but it is sketchy evidence, at best.
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sometime even a broken hyman doesn't mean that the girl isn't virgin. Females can get involved in accidents which may result in breaking of hyman.
Marriages break due to this virginity of female. It all depends on how faithful and honest your life partner is.
A female could have her hymen broken from exercise. A female can also have had anal intercourse only and would that still make her a virgin?
the latest model with all the accessories
This is good. This is very good. I feel sad. This is good.
Roman, don't be too hard on him. I think he just came out wrong and blurted everything in his mind using a wrong anaolgy.
AMA, I understand yr point perfectly - u have encountered so many temptations and yet resisted, it's perfectly naturally for you to want someone who has had as much courage and strength of mind as you have shown. Kudos to u for preserving yrself until marriage, that's very nice and honorable Masha'Allah. I respect that.
But you know, this question is best asked to your girl directly. There are many types of girls, and also depends on the type of society they come from, esp. in Pakistan. If she has lead a relatively sheltered life and is from yr immediate family or a goan in Pind, I think it's fairly safe to say she is a virgin and maybe shy to tell u, that's why u don't want to ask her. If she is a city girl, chances of her being non-virgin are higher. But that's all also a very gross overgeneralization.
Some girls get raped, and never tell anyone about it. They may have been touched before, and kept quiet. Would that be impure to you? Some may have been kissed by someone one day, of their own accord or involuntarily... where do u draw the line? Some girls have experienced paedophilia.. what do you say then? It's a very sad world we live in, and reality hurts.
Virginity and impurity are different things to different people. You have to see what your threshold level is and what your own take on it is, and ask your girl if it means so much to you. You might offend her if she is a sensitive girl, but I suggest u get to know her a little bit atleast, before you ask her directly. If nothing else, you can atleast be friends and have no hard feelings for the rest of your life. Things like these leave impressions that stay with a person forever, so be gentle about it.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Asif M. Ali: *
This issue is imp to me because if i've remain chaste living in US then I do deserve someone who is chaste too. Am i asking for too much?
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No it isn't asking for too much. To be very honest there is absolutely no way you can know within your scope of knowledge (I am assuming your not a doc). I do empathize with your predicament, however I really don't know if there is a definitive answer. Sure you can do a background check, like asking or finding out if the future Mrs. was a regular on the dating block, but that doesn't mean that she still isn't a virgin. If I was in your position, I would try to get an understanding of how this girl is? Are we talking typical eastern or more western oriented? I think it might help you in understanding...leave the rest up to Allah. Good luck and hope you find the answers your looking for.
*Is there a way to know if the girl is virgin? *
Yeah, ask the girl. She'll tell ya.
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Originally posted by Pakistani Tiger: *
**Is there a way to know if the girl is virgin? *
Yeah, ask the girl. She'll tell ya.
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easiest , safest and best method... :D
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*Originally posted by pakistan99: *
easiest , safest and best method... :D
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Yes, I followed your advice. Now "she" thinks i am not virgin!!! HELP!!!!
Serves you right. :)