Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
Wait.. if you've known him for 6 years, how was the marriage rushed. Is that not enough time to get to know someone, specially if they seriously have personality issues.
But to answer your question, to be honest I am firm believer that a girl's life is extremely hard after a divorce. By that I don't mean that stay in a marriage this bad. But simply talking about life after divorce... its hard. I have however, started believing that a lot depends on the girl herself how she deals with everything. Some are strong, some are not. You are the person who is going to make a difference. I have two cousins, divorced... it was terrible for them. Both had kids and no where to go. But both were very strong and determined. They changed their whole life. Instead of sulking, they went out worked, supported their kids. After all that was done and over with, never shed a tear. They are both married now and very happy. On the other hand I know someone who got divorced and mannnnnnnnnn that woman went crazy. Doesn't want to change her life, doesn't want to get out of her comfort zone to go do something. She is after so many years, still unmarried and still weeping over her past and does nothign to change her present or future.
So my advice would be, if you are considering divorce than be ready for a hard life but one that you can really change with your own determination.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
Inshallah..its obviously not something I am in a position to consider yet, but I need to be realistic for thr future, and to make sure I do what I can to keep my parents and family happy xxx
You are young and hopefully sensible. InshAllah there is a bright future ahead of you. I know many women who had a fresh start and happy fulfilled lives after their divorces.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
Yeah in the 6years I have known him, me and evry1 else only saw 1 side of him. I saw the real side once I married him and started to live with him. His parents came to meet me and the family, didnt contact us for 2months, then when they came back they wanted the marriage done in 3months.
Inshallah I am going to stay strong, I have to. for my mum and dad if not for any1 else. My cousine has also gone through the same thing, and alhamdulillah shes kum out of it a lot stronger.
Wait.. if you've known him for 6 years, how was the marriage rushed. Is that not enough time to get to know someone, specially if they seriously have personality issues.
But to answer your question, to be honest I am firm believer that a girl's life is extremely hard after a divorce. By that I don't mean that stay in a marriage this bad. But simply talking about life after divorce... its hard. I have however, started believing that a lot depends on the girl herself how she deals with everything. Some are strong, some are not. You are the person who is going to make a difference. I have two cousins, divorced... it was terrible for them. Both had kids and no where to go. But both were very strong and determined. They changed their whole life. Instead of sulking, they went out worked, supported their kids. After all that was done and over with, never shed a tear. They are both married now and very happy. On the other hand I know someone who got divorced and mannnnnnnnnn that woman went crazy. Doesn't want to change her life, doesn't want to get out of her comfort zone to go do something. She is after so many years, still unmarried and still weeping over her past and does nothign to change her present or future.
So my advice would be, if you are considering divorce than be ready for a hard life but one that you can really change with your own determination.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
disirekills I'd like to heed you a bit more advice, LAWYER UP!!!!!. If the guy abused and humiliated you, you need to get to a lawyer asap. You have to realize the moment you left for your parents he probably called a lawyer or his family did. Figuring out the case is key here. Don't hesitate about the cost, divorce lawyers do not charge for consultation and most won't bill you unless they win the case in your favor.
The reason I recommend you do this is most people wait too late, they don't realize their spouse has it figured out. And remember now every time you talk to your husband imagine the conversation is being recorded and that he could use it in court. Also keep as many financial documents as you can, desi folk have a habit of making money disappear. Don't stress out but don't underact, it'll be a tough year for you, the moment you are at right now is probably going to be the worset of it, it can only get better from here on out.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
Yes, you have not future but please kindly see a therapist / counselor / psychologist so we aren't blamed for you downing some pills like whitney houston.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
very good advice..thanks for that. and abou having conversations, haha the coward hasnt even come in front of me ever since this happene..even when i went to get all my things from his house he hid himself behind his mum..spinless coward. but yeah i know exactly what you mean, thanks xx
disirekills I'd like to heed you a bit more advice, LAWYER UP!!!!!. If the guy abused and humiliated you, you need to get to a lawyer asap. You have to realize the moment you left for your parents he probably called a lawyer or his family did. Figuring out the case is key here. Don't hesitate about the cost, divorce lawyers do not charge for consultation and most won't bill you unless they win the case in your favor.
The reason I recommend you do this is most people wait too late, they don't realize their spouse has it figured out. And remember now every time you talk to your husband imagine the conversation is being recorded and that he could use it in court. Also keep as many financial documents as you can, desi folk have a habit of making money disappear. Don't stress out but don't underact, it'll be a tough year for you, the moment you are at right now is probably going to be the worset of it, it can only get better from here on out.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
errrmmm...........................
Yes, you have not future but please kindly see a therapist / counselor / psychologist so we aren't blamed for you downing some pills like whitney houston.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
I'm so sorry to hear all that. One thing we all forget that whenever we get sick we head to the doctor and have a checkup for very minor things but when we get into something like your situation, we never think of going to professionals for help. I'm not sure where you live, if yo live somewhere in the west, you should be able to get help. I strongly encourage you to go for therapy, at least you can tell someone your story and feel good and they will give you a lot of suggestions to keep yourself occupied.
One thing I can assure you that he will comeback, it may take him three months or 6 months, but for you to go back to that abusive home will be impossible. He will beg you and ur parents and you will get pressure from your family to go back because he is "cured" now, but that will be a lie. I also recommend you to go to marriagebuildersdotcom, they have forums like this and thousands other stories like this, you can read and get help.
Desirekill, see if you can go back to school and get some skill set if you don't have already, find a good job and then think of getting marry when u r 28/29 or so..
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
You need some ESL lessons, since I can bet $100 that what I wrote made a 1000x more sense than the dyslexic messages that many people post on here.
Ok then lets try and decipher your retarded sentence.
"Yes, you have not future..." This part of the sentence would cause most peoples IQ's to drop a few points.
"but please kindly see a therapist/conselor/psychologist..." Errr... this woman isn't a serial killer and I'd imagine a marriage counselor would be appropriate but it seems from what she's told us the relation is beyond repair.
"so we aren't blamed for you downing some pills like whitney houston." OP this part is just plain whack, seems like your trying to take retarded to a whole new level.
And another fun fact for you dyslexia is a reading disability not a writing disability; and it seems like you have a whole host of disabilities.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
Ok then lets try and decipher your retarded sentence.
"Yes, you have not future..." This part of the sentence would cause most peoples IQ's to drop a few points.
"but please kindly see a therapist/conselor/psychologist..." Errr... this woman isn't a serial killer and I'd imagine a marriage counselor would be appropriate but it seems from what she's told us the relation is beyond repair.
"so we aren't blamed for you downing some pills like whitney houston." OP this part is just plain whack, seems like your trying to take retarded to a whole new level.
And another fun fact for you dyslexia is a reading disability not a writing disability; and it seems like you have a whole host of disabilities.
Errr why am I bothering with this but I'll bite the bullet. First, the girl asked if there is a future for a 25 year old divorcee, which basically is a sign of depression leading to one killing herself. Second, people other than serial killers go to therapists / counselors etc for help so googling would have helped you. Third, I was trying to be nice but I guess you now know what I meant by dyslexia there.
Finally, this is a forum so you get what you get for trying to get advice from people you don't even know.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
Peace desirekills
Now please tell us one thing. ... Are you divorced yet or not ... Because by the sound of it he still wants you and divorce is not gonna be easy ... But if you have been given divorce already sort out your arrangements and move on... You will find some one again inshaAllah.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
Your life is just beginning. You will be ok. Slowly start taking control of your life. Start to process what happened, face it, accept it happened and then let it go. It will take some time and you will have dark days ahead of you, but find your inner strength - the strength you do not realize you have inside of you. I promise you wil be ok and are capable of having a happy life as long as you take your time to self-reflect and take control of your life.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
Stay with a guy like that and you won't have much of a future and if kids enter the picture, you risk jeopardizing theirs. If you know that your marriage is dysfunctional beyond repair...then getting rid of him gives you another chance at a better life/future.
I am curious though as to why you married him in the first place. Did you not see any red flags prior to marriage or did you not look into him and his family thorougly enough (although, I understand that's not always a guarantee)? You said that during the rishta process, his family disappeared for 2 months and then showed up and asked for a marriage to take place withing 3 months....that's inconsiderate. Didn't that raise any doubts in your parents or you? I've heard that one should beware of a rishta that wants to rush a marriage.
I know of several women who were previously divorced, who have remarried, and are leading much happier lives. Stay with your parents and figure out a plan for what needs to be done. And don't get "remarried" in the near future just for the sake of being married. Develop yourself as a person, focus on what you want out of a marriage/relationship, and consider marriage when you're feeling more open to it....and do a more thorough investigation in the future.
Re: is there a future for a 25 year old divorced girl?
Everyone gave you amazing advice, you have to sum up all the courage inside to walk out of that messed up relationship. You are only 25, you can do great things and you don't have to live a miserable life because you might be afraid of changes ahead. I don't need to tell you that he is going to magically stop so you should wait the storm out. Learn from this experience and take one day at a time.
; are trying to tell us that you’re downing pills like whitney houston 
???