I strongly dislike desi men. Sorry, it’s the truth. There are some gems out there, and generally, those guys are already married. It’s because they’re not douchebags, so they get picked fast. Plus, most of those guys are much older, have some experience in life, have kids, and are married and so they’ve HAD THE TIME TO MATURE. Those same guys maybe 20 years ago would be annoying to me. I don’t know.
But single YOUNG desi men - in general, have their drama. So do young desi girls, honestly, but the drama is of a different nature.
Young desi men - they’re having issues with education and employment. I know LOTS of Pakistani families have gotten educated and are doing well for themselves and kudos to them, but many families are still fighting for opportunities and these days facing A LOT of discrimination.
Just an example, I meet desi guys who didn’t get into grad school, and it’s nothing but anger and bitterness - I can’t even get those families to become friendly to me. There’s just too much insecurity.
They can’t tolerate a girl making more money than them, or more educated.
They come from families, that generally are status seekers. Again, I know, a big generalization, and many Pakistanis are very good people and are not superficial.
Many families are NOT.
Their sons are looking for someone who looks like a supermodel. Or someone from a rich family. Or they’re all into the appearnce - looking for a girl who meets the criterion of hijabi, non-working, pious appearing woman, never mind the fact that she’s just as much a douchebag as they are.
Pakistani men have issues. They have skeletons in their closets, but they can’t tolerate someone who isn’t a virgin? They don’t doubt the double standards they’ve been raised in?
It’s ok to pray 5 times per day, and then go whore around with women, or drink, or treat other people like crap?
Double standards, contradictions, hypocritical behavior. Lack of ambition, frustration at “The West”, a reactionary religious conservatism, the constant need to blame everything on “The Bad White Man”, not wanting to take responsibility for their community or for their personal actions, this double standard of being a playboy and then demeaning women who want to live similarly and then demanding a hijabi wife.
Yeah, some of you men are AWESOME. I’d love to meet someone like TLK, or aahmed, or X2, or ahmadjee, or DM, or whoever, but the fact is, that there are NOT MANY good guys out there like you guys. There’s a lot of characters I’m NOT compatible with. I’ve grown up in a more westernized mode of thinking, my interpretation of Islam is different from 80% of the Pakistanis out there, I’m NOT materialistic, I’m NOT a status-seeker, I’m just interested in breaking even at the end of the day, earning a halaal income, and raising good kids, and MAYBE if I can afford it, travel a bit. You’d think that’s simple, but it’s not for a lot of desi guys. Because I don’t live up to THEIR standards.
I’m not:
A hijabi
Non-College grad
A stay-at-home (doesn’t matter if I say I’ll stay home for a few months - my inlaws would make sure I give up my job PERIOD - I’ve seen it happen before).
Income lower than his
education lower than his
dependent
baby-act
size D boobs
perfect figure
hot model type face
great fashion sense
Given my poor deconditioned state at the moment, I don’t think I could last in bed for more than 60 seconds. I walk a flight of stairs and I am huffing puffing.
Socialite
Having family connections, or a dad that can get his sorry arse a job. (Memon culture - often the father in law of the boy will help him get a job, set him up with a business, etc - my dad ain’t doing that).
A huge dowry (Sorry, my parents can’t afford to get themselves a new washing machine)
A career girl willing to saccrifice her job just for him
willing to give up my dreams and ambitions all for him
willing to take the back seat in everything
willing to let his mom walk all over me because she has some inferiority complex and can’t mind her own business
willing to deal with in-law drama
I mean, I’m sorry, I guess I would make for a difficult bride, and despite the fact that I’d probably make a kick arse wife and mom, I will be the last person to get a proposal becuase I just don’t measure up to qualities that I don’t value in the first place.
Oh well.