if u have a crush on someone…so is that considered to be bad in islam??..
I think that part of Human nature… Its what you do about it that matters. Just my two cents.
Yeah, Adnan is right, its human nature. However, the critical part is how you respond to this crush!!!
I think that we should learn from the example of how Hazrat Muhammad (saw) got married with Hazrat Khadeeja (ra). It was Hazrat Khadeeja (ra) who sent a proposal for marriage.
How Hazrat Yusuf (as) responded to Zulaikha's seductions is also a good example.
Asslamu alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakaatohu!
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/flower1.gif
Dear sister,
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif
First, you have to understand that we are slaves of Almighty Allah (that is also our nature). We need to keep in mind that He The Almighty sent to us Messengers/Prophets as examples for us humans to live and follow.
Looking at Muhammad pbuh 's example…not once in his life did he have a ‘crush’ on any woman. He had so much shyness and modesty that not even a virgin could ever have. (subhanAllah)
So what is a ‘crush’…from what i know it is a slang word people use as a feeling they have for the opposite gender…(which cannot be true love)…also ‘crush’ is when one gets attracted to one’s “outer” beauty or should i say physical beauty…
Hadhrat Khadija (ra) did NOT get attracted to Muhammad (pbuh)'s physical beauty but the beauty of his character, his honesty, his truthfulness, his imaan, his hayaa,etc.
So we cannot say that she had a ‘crush’ on him (astaghfirullah).
Also dear sister, Allah The Most LOVING says in the Holy Quran: **
Then is it only a part of the Book that ye believe in, and do ye reject the rest?{2:85}
**
What ever Allah Ta’ala has commanded us to do..is for our own good in this world and the Hereafter.
Allah Ta’ala, The MOST WISE, says in Quran:
** “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and
guard their modesty;..” {24:31}**
our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) says:
“The furtive glance is one of the poisoned arrows of Shaytan, on him be God’s curse. Whoever forsakes it for the fear of Allah, will receive from Him (Great and Gracious is He) a faith, the sweetness of which he will find within his heart.” (al-Haakim.)
Therefore, a secret lustful look at a person of opposite gender has been compared by the Prophet (pbuh) to an arrow from Shaytan that:
poisons our hearts
ruins our intentions
gives rise to false hopes and desires
distorts our perception of ‘reality’
deprives us from enjoying and concentrating in Prayers
gives rise to constant feeling of guilt and depression
sometimes leads to sleepless nights
renders our heart weak for continuous Shaytanic attacks
promotes hypocrisy
weakens our memory
eventually leads to Zina (adultery)
above all, diminishes our love for and fear of Allah
Allah commands us: “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them…” [24:30.] In the verse following this one, Allah commands “the believing women” in the similar manner.
A wise man once said:
**
Mehroomi (depression) insaan ko aksar teb hoti hai
jeb wo kisi aisi cheez ko pana chahta hai
jo ussay mil nahi sekti.**
Sister, it is true that it is only part of human nature, BUT Allah has forbidded us to do such things because for our own good. Keep reading!
The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the** eye is the guide of the heart.** The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it. Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye as is said:
**
When you sent your eye as a guide
For your heart one day, the object of sight fatigued you
For you saw one over whom you had no power
Neither a portion or in totality, instead you had to be patient.
Whosoever lets his sight roam free will find that he is in a perpetual state of loss and anguish for sight gives birth to love (mahabbah) the starting point of which is the heart being devoted and dependant upon that which it beholds. This then intensifies to become fervent longing (sabaabah) whereby the heart becomes totally dependant and devoted to the (object of its desire). Then this further intensifies and becomes infatuation (gharaamah) which clings to the heart like the one seeking repayment of a debt clings firmly to the one who has to pay the debt. Then this intensifies and becomes passionate love (ishk) and this is a love that transgresses all bounds. Then this further intensifies and becomes crazed passion (shaghafa) and this a love that encompasses every tiny part of the heart. Then this intensifies and becomes worshipful love (tatayyuma). Tatayyum means worship and it is said: tayyama Allaah i.e. he worshipped Allaah.
This delight and sweetness is far greater and more desirable that which might have been attained from the object that one lowered his gaze from for the sake of Allaah. Indeed, **“whosoever leaves something for the sake of Allaah then Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent, will replace it with something better than it.” **
Allaah said concerning Yusuf as-Siddeeq (AS), “Thus (did We order) so that We might turn away from him all evil and indecent actions for he was one of Our sincere servants.” [Yusuf (12): 24]
It was because the wife of al-Azeez was a polytheist that (the passionate love) entered her heart despite her being married. It was because Yusuf (AS) was sincere to Allaah that he was saved from it despite his being a young man, unamarried and a servant.
** Sister, IsLam is the EASY way…if you follow it you will feel EASE…but if you do not follow it …then it will be a burden on your ownself.
please read my post in the religion section called “Who you should love?”
** O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy. {2:208}**
your sister in Islam
[This message has been edited by Uzee (edited July 20, 2002).]
Sister, i am sorry my post above is alittle too long...but pleaseeee read it..
May Allah reward you inshAllah!
The first word revealed in the Quran from surah Alaq was "IQRA"...READ
its for your betterment ...please sister read it all...
waslaam
I think its important to understand the definition of a crush.
Crushes happen when you get smitten with someone - i've had crushes where looks were not the only thing involved - the guys were always strong (in personality), brilliant, and sensitive and caring people.
Personalities do count when one crushes - for some people.
Thus in this sense of a crush - where looks, personality, thoughts and ideas - are all compounded together - then I dont think the crush in itself is haraam or devilish. Its an instinct - and the Devil didn't give us our instincts - God did. So how could liking someone be bad?
But it is what you do with that crush - like if all you can think about is having sex, or if you make MOVES to get the guy to sleep with you - then you can say that you need to reevaluate your crush.
Chill girl - crushes are not bad.
Honestly there is no proof that the Prophet never crushed on anyone, or that Khadija's love for the Prophet was not a "crush" and that the Prophet's love for Aishaa was not a "crush".
For respect purposes - the word "crush" or whatever is never used when talking about the Prophet's marital life. But do you honestly think that he did not "love" his wives? Do you honestly think that Khadija's admiration for the Prophet was not a "crush" similar to what many women today feel for men before they get married?
In the end, it boils down to what a "crush" is to you. Its not always about the physical and raw sexual aspect.
[quote]
Originally posted by !~!ZahrA!~!:
**
if u have a crush on someone....so is that considered to be bad in islam??....
**
[/quote]
dont let religen spoil you fantasy .
you wont be too young for long .
no mullah will look at you when
you are 70.it is unhealthy to be non-sexual
it is not good for your soul and mind and your future partner will think you as some kind of a nun.
Ask me... I get crushes every freaking day. Perfectly natural thing. For people who think it's wrong or something, I've got a question:
Is talking to na mehrem guys over the internet (via gs) allowed?
You can only paint with the colors you're given...
...so get what you like and like what you have.
aslamo alikum…thankyou very much for your time…and i think that would really help me and others to understand the whole thing…thanx once again…
The wise never marry. and when they marry
…they become Otherwise
[quote]
Originally posted by pakistan99:
**
Is talking to na mehrem guys over the internet (via gs) allowed?
**
[/quote]
ya i wanna know that to...do anyone know about it...??
The wise never marry. and when they marry
...they become Otherwise
WalikumSalam W’r W’b Uzee;
Jazkallahu Khairun. Masha-Allah a very nice conclusive answer, a helpful read for us all
It does not say anywhere, that you can't like somebody or have a crush!!
Having a fantasy or wanting a knight in shining armour id not a crime in Islam. Lowering your gaze I should add applies to us guys as well...
Asslamu alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakaatohu!
Respected sister (PiyariCGuria)!
[quote]
Originally posted by PyariCgudia:
I think its important to understand the definition of a crush.
Crushes happen when you get smitten with someone - i've had crushes where looks were not the only thing involved - the guys were always strong (in personality), brilliant, and sensitive and caring people.
Personalities do count when one crushes - for some people.
Thus in this sense of a crush - where looks, personality, thoughts and ideas - are all compounded together - then I dont think the crush in itself is haraam or devilish. Its an instinct - and the Devil didn't give us our instincts - God did.** So how could liking someone be bad?
But it is what you do with that crush - like if all you can think about is having sex, or if you make MOVES to get the guy to sleep with you - then you can say that you need to reevaluate your crush.
Chill girl - crushes are not bad.
Honestly there is no proof that the Prophet never crushed on anyone, or that Khadija's love for the Prophet was not a "crush" and that the Prophet's love for Aishaa was not a "crush".
For respect purposes - the word "crush" or whatever is never used when talking about the Prophet's marital life. But do you honestly think that he did not "love" his wives? Do you honestly think that Khadija's admiration for the Prophet was not a "crush" similar to what many women today feel for men before they get married?
In the end, it boils down to what a "crush" is to you. Its not always about the physical and raw sexual aspect. **
[/quote]
I also think it is important to understand the meaning of "CRUSH"?...so what is it?...
You will NOT find this specific word in any english dictionary...because it does not exist..it is just a slang word used by many new generation people. The definition you have provided is just your own opinion..by what you yourself have experienced. am i right?
Also, Of course...Allah is The Creator...and He has created us in a nature (which in arabic is Fitra)..we have feelings and emotions and that is what makes life.
BUT the thing is that ALLAH the TRULY WISE
has FORBIDDEN some things for us.
You can go on talking about how natural a feeling it is...but as i said earlier ISLAM is the EASY and SIMPLE WAY of Life..if you want to reject and turn away from Allah's commands and follow the footsteps of shaytaan...then you will be only doing harm to your own self.
What you have said about Khadija and Mihammad....well Muhammad peace and blessings of Allah be upon him...did love his wives and treated them with much jusitce. Of course...he loved them...he was a Mercy for EVERYONE...an EXAMPLE by which we should live...and also he was under the Direct Guidance from Almighty Allah.
Khadija did not have a cruch on RasulAllah...This word "CRUSH" didn't even exist back then. She proposed him because of his beautiful character and imaan in Allah Ta'ala.
Sister...also understand the difference between CRUSH and LOVE....then talk please.
Sister Zahra...asked if it was haraam(bad) in ISLAM to have a crush on someone....
she said ISLAM...not opinions...also when we talk about ISLAM (THE HAQ) we need to provide references/sources from where we're getting the info.
and ALLAH Clearly says in the HOLY Quran:
"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and
guard their modesty;.." {24:31}
SUBMIT TO ISLAM WHOLE-HEARTEDLY!
** O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy. {2:208}
**
waslaam
your sister in islam
[quote]
Originally posted by rvikz:
** dont let religen spoil you fantasy .
you wont be too young for long .
no mullah will look at you when
you are 70.it is unhealthy to be non-sexual
it is not good for your soul and mind and your future partner will think you as some kind of a nun.**
[/quote]
FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
ISLAM IS A WAY OF LIFE...IT IS NOT A RELIGION (A BELIEF) ONLY BUT IT IS A WAY OF LIFE...BECAUSE WE (muslims) LIVE ACCORDING TO IT. WE REMEMBER ALLAH IN EVERYTHING WE DO BY SAYING BISMILLAH WHEN STARTING TO DO SOMETHING. I CAN GO ON TALKING ABOUT HOW IT IS A WAY OF LIFE...BUT I'LL STOP HERE...
** ALLAH THE MOST GREAT SAYS IN THE HOLY QURAN:
"Then shall anyone who has done an atom's weight of good, see it!
And anyone who has done an atom's weight of evil, shall see it. "(99:7-8)
and you can imagine how tiny an atom is!!
and also the Arabic word used in the Quran for Islam...at many places ...is DEEN
which translated in english...is WAY OF LIFE!!!!
waslaam
[This message has been edited by Uzee (edited July 21, 2002).]
[quote]
Originally posted by Zakk:
**It does not say anywhere, that you can't like somebody or have a crush!!
Having a fantasy or wanting a knight in shining armour id not a crime in Islam. Lowering your gaze I should add applies to us guys as well...**
[/quote]
Ahem Ahem....brother WAKE UP!!! Did you read my POSTs above!!
[quote]
Originally posted by pakistan99:
**
Is talking to na mehrem guys over the internet (via gs) allowed?
**
[/quote]
[quote]
Originally posted by !~!ZahrA!~!:
** ya i wanna know that to...do anyone know about it...??
**
[/quote]
asslamu alaikum
It depends on your intentions...
Muhammad pbuh said in a hadith "Actions are governed by intentions"...
So what is your intention...are you talking to them to teach them about the Deen (islam) or what?...Many of you might turn against me..but let me tell you something
It is said in hadith...that when a girl and boy are together...the third being present there is Shaytaan.
(these are not the exact words but i tried)
It is haraam...if you know the Quran...if you fear Allah...if you know that every single little thing you do...you will be acountable for it on The Day of Justice (judgement) ....then you would think twice about doing a sin...
waslaamu alaikum wa rehmatullah
ps. InshAllah i'll look into this more and reply later with more detail..inshAllah.
I just want to bring your attention to what Shaytaan will be saying on the Day of Judgment, when the matter has been decided (everyone has been judged). We know from Soorah Ibraaheem that he will say, *"Verily, Allah promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, so you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Satan) as a partner with Allah (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zalimun (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.)." [14:22] *
** O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy. {2:208}
one more thing...As a MUSLIM (by the way Muslim means one who submits oneself to Allah completely) you should try to think...that is it gonna be Jannah or Jahannam...the true believers are those who have faith and then also do good deeds...
please read my post on religion section called "To those who believe and do deeds of righteousness"
It'll be very helpful inshAllah
waslaamu alaikum
and Fee aman Allah
[quote]
Originally posted by Uzee:
** asslamu alaikum
It depends on your intentions...
Muhammad pbuh said in a hadith "Actions are governed by intentions"...
**
[/quote]
So next time I am in Saudi Arabia I shall approach the single na mehram women and if the Virtue Police come to beat the hell out of me, I shall try to explain that:
"my intentions were good" and I merely wished to discuss the noble sunnah!
Actually some high level mufti has already ISSUED a fatwa calling internet chat between males & females - HARAM!
I am sure your EDICT over-rides the muftis!
[quote]
Originally posted by hafeez123:
** So next time I am in Saudi Arabia I shall approach the single na mehram women and if the Virtue Police come to beat the hell out of me, I shall try to explain that:
"my intentions were good" and I merely wished to discuss the noble sunnah!
Actually some high level mufti has already ISSUED a fatwa calling internet chat between males & females - **HARAM!**
I am sure your EDICT over-rides the muftis!
**
[/quote]
It is haraam ...EXACTLY..what i said.
and that is not a good example...
the hadeeth does not mean that you can do sin but with right intentions...
a sin is a sin...no matter what.
for ex. if you go and steel in someone's home and make niyaat (intetion) that you'll donate all that you steel to some poor people. Steeling is haraam...no matter what. This is not what the hadeeth of rasulAllah means...it means that you do good with good niyaat.
Your example abt the sunnah....was very cheap...i did not mean that in any sense.
I simply said it was haraam..to talk to non-mehrams..
...>>>>>>>>
if you know the Quran...if you fear Allah...if you know that every single little thing you do...you will be acountable for it on The Day of Justice (judgement) ....then you would think twice about doing a sin...
<<<<<<<
waslaam
JazakAllah Uzee sis, a very nice post!
Well, crush is a natural feeling but you must keep in mind that physical interaction isn't allowed between Muslim men and women according to Islam. There are many reasons for this. One of them Uzee mentioned in her post:
[quote]
*It is said in hadith...that when a girl and boy are together...the third being present there is Shaytaan.
[/quote]
*
..Hence, there's fear of committing something that's HARAAM in Islam for both male and female when they are together!
Also, if your intentions are to marry that person you may talk to that person and even it's allowed for both women and men to see each other before marriage.
Ayahs from Quran:
[quote]
[2:235] You commit no sin by announcing your engagement to the women, or keeping it secret. GOD knows that you will think about them. Do not meet them secretly, unless you have something righteous to discuss.....
[17:32] You shall not commit adultery; it is a gross sin, and an evil behavior.
[/quote]
Quotes from an article I read on The Etiquette of Interaction between Men & Women:
[quote]
When sitting in a mixed gathering, both the Muslim men as well as women should not try to lure someone from the opposite sex with their gazes. In other words, they should avoid staring at each other in a suggestive way.
While in a mixed gathering, both the Muslim men and women should wear dresses that adequately cover their private parts. Any dress that is revealing or that may in any way arouse sexual thoughts in the minds of any member of the opposite sex should be avoided.
While in such a gathering, women should avoid displaying their apparels and ornaments that they normally wear. This directive does not apply to those adornments, which are normally visible. On the contrary, this directive enjoins women to avoid intentionally displaying their adornments and apparels.
[/quote]
Hope this helps you decide what's right for you.
ps.
I've posted what I've been taught, Allah knows best!