What do you think of girls/guys that dont want to get married? Girls/guys that have done their undergrad and still refuse to see rishtas?
Do you think there is something wrong with them? If someone tells you they dont want to get married and they are done with schooling, do you assume they are doing things they shouldnt be?
Do you think differently of a girl who refuses, than a guy who says he refuses?
What comes to your mind when you hear that a particular girl or guy refuses to get married, despite being somewhat established(if they are), getting older, etc? What do you assume about them, if anything, and why do you assume that?
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
Munni, , long time no see .
You know Munni, I know quite a few Pakistani females who are single into their 30s. People will do bakwas about the girls cause they are single and some do assume the worst, when in fact, nobody really knows the real reason as to why the girl is single. She could be a saint, yet it doesn’t stop people from talking.
After meeting so many girls lately who are single into their early/mid-30s, I’m starting to think it is more ‘normal’ than we would like to believe. More girls are choosing their career and waiting to get married and have the option to be more picky these days and would rather not settle. A lot of times, that is basically what it comes down to.
For men, I think it is a lot easier for them to be single into their late 30s. From what I have seen, very few people question it … it is more of a ‘crime’ for a girl to be single as opposed to a guy.
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
Thank you lussi and Mehnaz, for the welcome. smile
Mehnaz, I dont particularly mean girls and guys in their thirties. Mid twenties and beyond is what I really mean. Did you used to assume things before having met these people recently?
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
I’d love love love to say that they’re just desparate pervs who think marriage is only for sex BUT i’d be lying But honestly, marriage isn’t only about sex, it’s about companionship, love, having kids, and other stuff.. Some people r comfortable having serious relationships without marriage, whereas others are just happy being single, and if they can control the urge to have sex, well good for them. But more and more yougner women (late 20s, early 30s) are having such a difficult time concieving.. I knw it’s very un-PC to say but that’s how i feel, i do NOT want to be 30 and single
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
in my case i always have two opinions about such issues. one that is solely mine and one for and from my parents/culture. personally i think there’s nothing wrong with being single for the rest of your life as long as ur content. but culturally this is frowned upon. not much of help i know.
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
No, never … only cause I have quite a few people close to me who are older and single. So I obviously understand where they are coming from but would hear idiotic comments from the “community” blaming the parents for not getting the kids married.
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
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For men, I think it is a lot easier for them to be single into their late 30s. From what I have seen, very few people question it ... it is more of a 'crime' for a girl to be single as opposed to a guy.
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Aunty Mehnaz, it has also to do with the biological clock of the women (also energy level that young moms have over older moms as many goris also say now..) if you don't mind me saying it!!!!
And Sara, you are right!
Keeping aside that 'death do us apart' mentality, many of the younger generation (ABCD etc) don't "get" marriage and hence we have so many divorces here (also the fact that getting a divorce in the West is very easy but that's another debate....)!
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
no -- nothing wrong... actually better as you can get more education or see more of life ...
The problem in our culture is that our parents think that getting married early is the Defacto standard and if their daughters can't get engaged or married before 21, then there is something wrong.... Ironically, those parents look for guys who are well set and is ready to lead a family... now, those guys are about 25-30 yr olds... That forces a 7-10 yr age differences in couples... i still wonder how its been working out; anyway...
so if the guy or gal doesn't wana get married before they want to... it should be fine...
now u know our culture... n sadly the opinions are rather negative on the ppl who don't wana get married n so forth....
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
Uhmmmm (sigh i dont want anday tamatar thrown at me) well, not wanting to marry i can understand, because of the hassle of marriage and relationships in general.. but the not wanting to have kids.. that i cannot fathom..
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
Not marrying just for the sake of not marrying, is definitely weird, man or woman. Of course this is different to getting an education, or establishing a career first or traveling etc.
Most guys that I have come across with that attitude are the party hard bachelor types who cannot face the responsibilities that come with sticking with one partner. Women with the "I am not marrying" attitude are usually bitter old spinsters in the making who probably have had bad experiences with men at some point in time and are not willing to make that emotional investment.
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
Nahi i don’t mean that if they want to have kids but don’t want to get married, they shouldn’t.. Kids and marriage go hand in hand, having children outside of marriage is not good (I dunno if Islamically it is okay to adopt w/o being married). However… i dunno, i’m jus sayin, i just think women who wanna stay single all their life and never have kids are just weird.. :halo:
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
It's a risk Im scared to take.
I have a strong feeling that my marriage wont be successful due to many reasons (reasons varying from not giving up my freedom of wanting to do so many crazy things in life to not having desire to have sexual contact). And I do not want to be called a 'divorced' one. Maybe that's what's keeping me from taking the plunge.
Re: Is something wrong if you dont want to get married?
i agree sara but it is egoistic to have kids cause you need it!! come they are human beings, if you don’t find the right partner for your life do you want to raise them alone with all the troubles that is resulting from single parenting?
, long time no see 
But honestly, marriage isn’t only about sex, it’s about companionship, love, having kids, and other stuff.. 
