Re: Is she wrong?
^ Fara, u asked for solutions and opinions, and she provided one to you, albeit not a favorable one. Don’t get disgusted, don’t post problems if u can’t handle some suggestions ![]()
Re: Is she wrong?
^ Fara, u asked for solutions and opinions, and she provided one to you, albeit not a favorable one. Don’t get disgusted, don’t post problems if u can’t handle some suggestions ![]()
Re: Is she wrong?
Sara, I needed real life solutions not the ones which will lead to further problems. Anyways I have learnt something which would be helpful, Thanx for replying.
Jazak Allah Khair.
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I have already replied to u, but I felt I haven’t said enough. Sara, I am not here to open a debate, all I wanted was some suggestions for a problem I couldn’t handle on my own. But at your remark I felt I needed to clarify certain things before people start acting sarcastic.
I just want you to know that I can deal with what people say… But ‘Talak’ as a solution only made me feel that how senseless and careless people can be when they are thinking about other people’s lives. Put yourself in that position, just for once and think again…
And that was the only reason that made me feel disgusted. Hope it makes sense to you too.
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Sara, this blind support of half cooked ideas put forth by pseudo feminist do not help you. Trust me, you want to call it like it is. It does not matter if she is your friend or not…have the courage to call her out when she is wrong.
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Kaleem, i didn't say that divorce was the best option or even any sort of option.. yes i believe it is a solution in extreme extreme extreme cases (n this doesnt qualify if u wanna kno).. All i said was if u gnna post a problem, looking for advice, ur gonna get all sorts of advice, some good some not so good that's all.
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ok dok...Hav a nice trip. Dont forget my Sweety Supari now.
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Either u get my point n u agree or rnt in the mood to be mean n argue more (which i doubt
) .. jus fo that ill remmeber the sweety supari :biggthumb
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AOA Fara
Why don't you look after your friends mom???......hope everthin' works out for your friend....:)
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I don't live in Pakistan Urgent, otherwise I would have shared the responsibility.
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The way it looks from reading your post is that both the husband in Paris and Wife in Pakistan are comfortable with the current arrangement. The problem is the Wife's bro. Can he not leave the house and live by himself? I assume he is an adult. Or the Wife can take the mother and life apart in another house. The Husband who works in Paris should easily be able to afford paying the rent for another house in Pakistan for his Wife and her Mother.
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the waiting for some more yrs doesn't make sense to me..what's the assurance that the guy can move back in the next couple of yrs?...what if for any reason he cannot?..then uve wasted like 12 years..
IMSO there are no easy choices...either leave the mom to the younger bro..and once there is actual responsiblity on his shoulders he might act a different way...right now he could just be slacking off cuz he knows his elder sis is here to help out...OR just leave the paris guy...and find someone closer in proxmitiy..that must be very very tough but i think it's a worthwhile sacrifice..OR maintain this status quo..girl lives in pak and the guy in france,..
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That cud verry well be possible, the son take more responsibility coz his crutch (the sister) is gone, but its a big big big risk to take..
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it's a big risk..but nothing's easy. Also i think it's unfair to the girl that she has to take complete care of her mom while her sisters are already abroad living happily . I mean it's a good thing and she'll definately be rewarded in the next life. But in this life this doesnt come across as a fair bargain to me.
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Thanks everyone for coming up with different ideas. I really appreciate the input by each and every member.
Lussi & Sara - I have discussed it with her and I have mentioned the same thing that he might come to recognise his responsibility once you are gone.
I feel sorry for the couple, they don't want to seperate, never. Lets see what time brings for them.
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Yeah it is a big risk n is it worth it? Like if she were to go liv wit her hubby in Paris, leavin mom wit the son, he either does what u said, matures quickly and takes care of her, or treats her like crap. Basically she has to choose between her husband and her mother.. both are equally important, ure required to take care of ur parents (its not just son's responsibility)..
N no fara they shudn't separate.. if they really love each other, they'll work it out..
Nothing in this life isn't easy, we're all tested.. Who knows what'l happen in the afterlife, who'll get rewarded n who won't. Just keep praying and hope things work out..
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khudanakawasta if i was in that situation......as much as it would hurt me and kill me i would chose responsibility over love.
she is my mother who gave birth to me took care of me when i was sick when she could have abandon me. I refuse to leave her even for a single second.
If he truly loves me he would stick around if not then he can go and kiss his ass...
it wont hurt him to come and live few years with me instead of me going away with him. his citizen ship is not going anywhere. his job he will get anotherone....
there are no ifs and buts i am surprise she is even thinking? this is the time when she get to test her love... those cute little teddy bears, chocolate and heart candies look so cute and taste so adorable. But this is real stuff...
i wanna know what she decides eventually.
i would rather take my ami's duas
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Should have thought about this before getting married. Unfair for the guy.
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Raima, you posted exactly what I was thinking! There are plenty of helpers available in Pakistan, and it's not too hard to find an older couple to help the mother out and keep her company. I don't know anything about this situation personally, but is the girl beings too suspicious of her brother? Of course daughters are more sensitive to their mother's needs, but is he really the type that would lock her up in some dungeon and throw away the key? Or is he just like any typical desi son, who will probably do a decent job caring for the mother. She needs to openly discuss the issue with all her siblings, and bluntly tell them that she needs to go her husband and that they all have to make an arrangement for the mother's care. They will be forced to come up with a solution.
No matter how much her husband is in love with her, the truth is she needs to be with him if she wants the marriage to last. Paris is filled with many temptations.
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How can she be wrong? It’s not the couple’s fault, sometimes life just gives us challenges…but i believe that God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle…it’s truly a very sad and touching story fara. I know wot it’s like to be in a long-distance relationship for years…but going on 10 years is too much! Wow…i think they have already proven that their love is strong, there’s just this obstacle to get over now.
No doubt, the mum can’t be left alone…but she is not an only child…if his mother being paralysed has opened her brothers’ eyes, then i duno wot will…i think that ur friend needs to be a tiny, little bit selfish…i duno when her mum was paralysed, but i don’t think any mother wud want their daughter to be sad, alone and in a marriage life such as this…she obviously has shown so much love, care and affection for her mum…in my opinion, she will have to let go a bit and leave her mum with one of her siblings…at least try it out for a bit…if it doesn’t work they can always try something else…but i think first she shud pass this responsiblity over to her brother…u never know, he cud do a total turn around once it’s on him…definately don’t think she shud leave her mum anywhere except with her children…she shud tell her bro “u think i’m just after the money ay, well then here…u take care of mum…show us how much u care for her”…one thing i wanted to ask is, wot sort of immigration problems r there? Can’t she apply for her mum once she is in France?
Anyway, this truly is a remarkable couple and may God bless them for all their patience…ur rite, they sound like they really do deserve each other…and Inshallah, they will finally get to be together very soon…and may her mum’s health and their family situation improve very soon, Ameen. Good luck to them ![]()