Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?

[BarbieCue]

Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?

@Ashy2010

Reha, I belong to the same social background as hers. In fact, she has a father and I lost my father long ago and I have been supporting my family. I have not been very good in managing household chores as I have been working since very young age. Thats why when I see the way she manages the house, I don’t think I can do all this. She has been remembering the names of her MIL and FIL medicines and I have not been a very good daughter to my mother’s since I have been working since I was 17, managing the family’s problems (in the absence of my father and any elder sibling). I have more been acting as the son of the family and thats why I am not that confident of marrying into that family since I already saw her being such a good bahu.

Can you not be open about your fears with the family or at least with the potential spouse?

Talk to them about this. You said you know the first bahu and you get along well. Talk to her then. And please stop looking at her as your competition. Why can’t she be your big sister? You lost your father, I’m sorry to hear that… why can’t the FIL be your abu? You have to change your mindset and treat the family as your own family… and make a genuine effort at that, don’t fake it to compete with the first bahu… and if people still make stupid comparisons, in one ear out the other. Even if they say the first bahu is better, say jee MashaAllah behan kis ki hai!

Please don’t get into desi family politics… ever!