How do you deal with it when it comes to raising your kids? I know alot of working parents who can’t let go of their jobs cos of the difficult life standards or some simply don’t want to do that.
So they end up hiring a maid who does the house chores plus looking after the kids, sometimes not part time it becomes a full time job! What do you think of this? Would you rather doing that your self of or hiring an out-sider?:aq:
Re: is MAID a better choice??
I would rather raise my children myself. These moments (atleast in my view) are precious and I would not want to miss out on it nor would I want my kids to feel that we (the parents) did not have enough time for them. Having said that, my goal would be to spend as much time as possible with them. Parents are a blessing of Allah and can never be replaced no matter how good of a maid you have :)
Re: is MAID a better choice??
If a couple feel that they will not be able to give undivided/ unconditional attention/ love/ care to the kids they produce, then perhaps they should consider not having any! Kids shoyuld be No. 1 on the priority list.
Kids need attentions from their parents (and more so from their mother, particularly in their early age)... denying them of that in na-insaafi.
I know some ppl need to work to provide financial stability, so i guess they dont have much a chioice, but those that do it for other reasons (like careers, paynig off the ridiculous amounts of things theyv'e bought on a loan, etc)... its just not fair on the kids.
Re: is MAID a better choice??
Natalia, nice thread.
when we are not in that situation when parents have to be parents and make do by any arrangments, with or without domestic help with kids, we can only hypothesize what might happen.
each individual's situation might be really diff.
but, one thing is true. no one can take care of a given child than her/ his own parents.
dual income families may benefit from raising their children by themselves as much properly as they can.
it ought not matter whether two or one or none working parents are taking care of children. the working of parents cannot be made into an excuse for children who are unhappy or insecure. ideally, maids and servants are not to overtake all chores of the household. couples will not feel responsible for anything around the house and that may or may not good for the family. kids might grow up thinking that getting things done by servants and maids is fine and they may not learn the importance of self reliance.
Dushwari
Re: is MAID a better choice??
Raising and educating kids is, off course, parents' duty. But a nice maid can indeed make your life a lot easier.
Re: is MAID a better choice??
Coming from a maid/house-help culture let me** proudly** say that I have a maid who looks after my child while I am at work. My daughter is minus-me from 12.00noon (after school) till 4.00pm. She sleeps btwn 1-3pm. And my maid is a wonderful person, she is very concerned about my daughter and I cannot say that my kids are any distant from me just beacuase of maids. I, in turn, come home from work looking fwd to spending time with my kids.
Re: is MAID a better choice??
A maid is a good option and 4 hours a day 2 of which she is sleeping is pretty good. Honestly a maid is a paid employee and it's their job..your child is their job and no matter how great they are and how much they love your child it is a job and will leave for a better offer. we chose not to get a full time maid for this reason...
Re: is MAID a better choice??
A maid is a good option and 4 hours a day 2 of which she is sleeping is pretty good. Honestly a maid is a paid employee and it's their job..your child is their job and no matter how great they are and how much they love your child it is a job and will leave for a better offer. we chose not to get a full time maid for this reason...
Actually I have full time maid. I was only pointing out the time when my daughter is at home without me.
Yes I agree that they can leave their jobs any time...but myself and my family have had the good fortune to have people work with us for ...well forever in some cases...My great-grandmother when she was alive she had a house-help who knew our extended family spanning the full 4 generations...and he knew each of us by name....The maid who took care of my sister when she was little is now old and retired yet she travels to visit us with her great grandkids once a year or so.
Re: is MAID a better choice??
Natalia, nice thread. when we are not in that situation when parents have to be parents and make do by any arrangments, with or without domestic help with kids, we can only hypothesize what might happen. each individual's situation might be really diff. but, one thing is true. no one can take care of a given child than her/ his own parents. dual income families may benefit from raising their children by themselves as much properly as they can. it ought not matter whether two or one or none working parents are taking care of children. the working of parents cannot be made into an excuse for children who are unhappy or insecure. ideally, maids and servants are not to overtake all chores of the household. couples will not feel responsible for anything around the house and that may or may not good for the family. kids might grow up thinking that getting things done by servants and maids is fine and they may not learn the importance of self reliance.
Dushwari
Hmmm.......
Never thought of it in this way.
My older son still does not eat on his own and maid or wife feed him while he is jumping around. Yesterday, i was pissed off a bit about it and i told the maid to put the plate down and told him that he has to eat by himself.
Atnight, he came to me and said, Dad, "BachooN ko khana khilaana maid ka kaam hota hai, agar wo apna kaam nahiN karegi to phir kiya karegi"
Re: is MAID a better choice??
Aly-sam- my family has long term generational servents in Pakistan but not where i'm at.
The other for me here is that many many mothers spend their free time socializing which is fine..and needed but for some it means the maid puts the baby to bed, wakes with them in the am and gives breakfast so mom can go out late and sleep in. Baby stays home to have their nap so mom can do errands/grab a coffee so basically they play/see their mom from 10-12ish and 3 to 6ish.
the other issue briefly mentioned is that children end up a bit spoiled and parents aren't being parents. i realize it's a cultural thing but i don't want my daughter thinkinig at this age that when she doesn't want to do something i tell her to do she can get the maid to get it..i want her to be independent and active.
I think that it's a hard balance to do well. I have a maid 3 hours a day plus evening baby sitting. I would love a few hours more but don't need it all the time ....and would love the flexibility to step out whenever i want rather than coordinate it with my part-timer...but i know it's a slippery slope and i don't want to go there.
Re: is MAID a better choice??
me and my siblings were raised by several maids one after another.....sometimes it is the only option if both parents work FT
i will most likely end up doing the same for my kids....i think
Re: is MAID a better choice??
You lucky parents 
I wish I had a maid, Id even send her to my work and spend all day in bed.
Re: is MAID a better choice??
For as long as I am healthy and able and my spouse is healthy and able to work, I would want to raise and care for my children myself…no matter what my financial situation is like. I will take a break from my profession and come back to it later or work from home if I can.
I just can’t imagine hiring someone to take care of my children. There is no care taker in the world that can replace the genuine love and affection that a mother can give to her children. My degree and profession wont be worth more then my children. Family first…everything else comes later. But hey! that’s just my opinion.
I’ll hire a cleaning lady though!! 
Re: is MAID a better choice??
Women should work if they want but not at the expense of the kids.
I don't believe in the concept of maids. There is nothing like doing it yourself.
Re: is MAID a better choice??
oh i’d love a maid, nto for kids but house stuff… Are you listening 
Re: is MAID a better choice??
Go for it Sara...put your feet up!
Re: is MAID a better choice??
One can have a maid to clean up but not raise children. In fact, if one can afford it, why NOT have a maid so that one can spend more time with the children while the maid cleans away.
We have a maid that comes once a week, she is a God send.
Re: is MAID a better choice??
exactly…now that I think about it…why not throw in a cook 2 
Re: is MAID a better choice??
Iconoclast,
i am not sure, whether you agree with the point i made. but from the anecdote which you described here, it seems that there is a negative impact of reliance on servant and maids, no?
what did you say to your son, if you dont mind telling.
best,
Dushwari
Hmmm.......
Never thought of it in this way.
My older son still does not eat on his own and maid or wife feed him while he is jumping around. Yesterday, i was pissed off a bit about it and i told the maid to put the plate down and told him that he has to eat by himself.
Atnight, he came to me and said, Dad, "BachooN ko khana khilaana maid ka kaam hota hai, agar wo apna kaam nahiN karegi to phir kiya karegi"
Re: is MAID a better choice??
well said i agree wid u:)