Re: Is it wrong to wait for love?
Arranged marriage just means your family look for a prospective spouse. You both meet and talk and try to find out what each others thinking is like, is it compatible etc? The decision to marry him was in my hands. My parents gave me their advice and thoughts about him, I trusted their judgement because they are older, wiser and more experienced in sussing out the character of a person and then I decided what I wanted to do. I was not attracted to him when I met him. My mother told me that when I look at my prospective rishtas to look for the important things that will sustain a marriage. Things like compatible thinking, personality, sense of humour. When I met him I liked him I thought he was a nice guy, made some jokes, he had the same way of thinking as me. I didn’t look at his height or weight his eye colour, his hair, his beard. My husband also has vitiligo, its a skin condition where patches of his skin has lost the pigmentation. So he has white patches under his eyes on his neck his hands and arms. I saw all that when I met him. I saw him as someone I could be friends with. You share everything with your friends, I wanted that to be the foundation of our relationship. The more I came go know him the more that friendship turned to love. I fell in love with his personality, his actions towards me and my family, his ideas, his thoughts. His personality attracted me. Now when I look at him I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. Alhumdulillah he is the only man I ever want to be with. Love has to be built. Marriage is hard there are so many ups and downs. You have to compromise and work hard to make it work. There will always be disagreements its how you deal with the problems and move on that determines if your relationship will work. If you’re looking for a blow your mind romance then I’m sorry to say you’re going to wait forever and be disappointed. Unfortunately today people only look at the superficial things. They want a wedding and romance but not a marriage. Anything good comes with hard work. I think you need to lower your expectations and be realistic. You need to look at what you can offer a prospective spouse as well not just what your spouse will give you. If you’re looking for true love then that only comes from God in my opinion. No one not even your spouse will love you more than God does.