Hi,
i am new on this forum. Just confused about a situation. I have been engaged for 2 months. Me and my fiancee talk to each other every night. Although he is very nice guy but sometimes he tries to get very intimate with me. Like the question he ask : what are u r figure measurements, U will be looking very sexy in black dress, how deep is the neck of u r lingerie and tell him exactly how deep it is? and i am too shy to discuss it with him. That annoys him a lot. I am just confused is it normal that all the fiancee’s talk about this stuff to girls or it is just him? He does not talk about SEX directly but indirectly. I am new in this relationship and i don’t know how the things go on after engagement. Whether is it Ok to discuss these things with him or not Or i am too scared. Plz all the male and females who are engaged or married tell meee? I will be very grate full and if it is not OK how to handle him?
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
It differs from couple to couple. Just as each person has a distinct personality, a 'couple' as a whole has a personality too which may or may not be different from you as an individual. And so, things you might feel uncomfortable doing on your own, might be easy to perform when with your significant other.
In your specific situation, you're clearly new to all this. The fact that you're getting married to him soon should be a comfort to you. When's the wedding? At this stage of a couple's life when they're engaged, there is certainly a level of intimacy shared thats sometimes uncomfortable. And so, if you're slightly uncomfortable, thats completely normal. One of the two usually is uncomfortable and in this case its you. Thats perfectly fine. My fiancé and I talk about anything and everything. When we were first engaged, I was the uncomfortable one, but we both eased into our relationship and now are at the same page.
If you're getting married soon, just enjoy this time and cherish the slight shyness and butterflies. If the wedding is not soon, just ease into this relationship. Just talk to him and explain that you are shy and you need time to ease into it and that he should be supportive and not pushy. I'm sure he's new to this too but just slightly better settled. Communicate with him and I'm sure you both will be a happier couple in the end.
Peace.
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
so you dont know if its ok for you to discuss it with fiancee but you are ok to discuss it with us :)
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
first of all..talking to him every night may be the reason why he is moving too fast.....it could be the reason he is asking you such questions..if you are not comfortable with his directness...have him call you at a different time..if he is smart..he will take the hint..and respect you.
good luck!
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
He is testing your limits. You need to let him know that he is still na-mehram for you as nothing is guaranteed before the nikkah happens. Ask him to respect your wishes and remind him that you will answer all such questions after nikkah. If he still tries to talk to you like that, limit your phone conversations, or tell him you have to go as soon as he starts talking like that. If all else fails, tell him you are going to have to talk to your parents about it because you do not feel comfortable.
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
It's normal, but that doesn't mean you have to do it too. As long as you share that you are not comfortable talking about these things, hopefully he'll understand. He's just "eagerly" awaiting the wedding. :D
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
Don’t you see it silly, he wants to purchase some seksy lingerie and hence the reason for his questioning. 
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
^lol..
tell him it's inappropriate for him to be discussing this with you prior to the nikkah. when's the wedding?
I thank you all for replying me and guiding me. U people are right that may be he is moving fast b/c of talking to him every night. But he does not ask me these questions every night. Only sometimes , and i also remember him saying that he didn't mean to harass me or anything like that, just wanted to feel closer. But i understand that guys can easily slip off, it's only me who has to take care of these things. And i hope when i will show that i am uncomfortable he will stop. As it's not that far he has gone. The thing is that should i limit my calls to him? And u know the islamic perspective.. i always think about that.. but if i mention that to him he might say that it is also not allowed to talk on phone before Nikkah.. what could be the answer to that question? The wedding is like 3 to 4 months away. And can u people tell me some nice and smarter ways to hint him so that he does not feel bad that at all? As i am not so open in this relationship still. Or the other way i was thinking is to tell him clearly and tell him that we will only talk once a week...but that can be harsh so tell me which way is better. Thanks again all of u in guiding me. May Allah give all us strength...
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
Do what Chanda suggested, and call during the day. The night time encourages more romantic thoughts. If you decrease frequency without explanation, he may get worried.
so you dont know if its ok for you to discuss it with fiancee but you are ok to discuss it with us :)
She isn't discussing any of the answers with anyone here. She needs help so lets not make this difficult for her.
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
i agree with Sahar. even though i know my some1 really well now, before i was never allowed to talk to him at night. my parents didnt impose this rule on me, i did it myself and i told him none of this stuff please because i am not comfortable. and thank god as it is love marriage and he is my cousin he knows me vvvv well! i have even played with him when i was a kid! anyways... he totally understands and is cool.
night time is not a good time to call and talk to guys albeit he is ur fiance. islamically there is no such thing as mangni but for the sake of the argument you are engaged and you are getting married to him so just slowly hint to him that you are uncomfortable and talk to him during the sunlight hours if you can. at night person is relaxed and most probably people talking are sitting or propped up on their beds so it is more likely for the conversation to take turns that way which you do not want to. trust me i know.
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
girl, enjoy the attention he is giving to you before marriage. This will go down exponentially after shaadi. Don't talk back dirty but do smile and laugh a little ...u are a girl, u must know how to tease.
I personally think that this kind of crap is not on. Certainly not before marriage. Your fiance is overfed on porn or sleazy bollywood films. Tell him to get a life and wait for marriage.
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
If you tell him once politely that you do not like to talk to him about these things before your marriage , it should end it. If he tries it again say it again. Your being shy and just avoiding or dodging the answers make him more brave and more curious every time you two talk.
I personally think that this kind of crap is not on. Certainly not before marriage. Your fiance is overfed on porn or sleazy bollywood films. Tell him to get a life and wait for marriage.
lol
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
girl its just a little harmless fun, meet him half way and throw some Q's his way too. I do agree with Sahar that perhaps rather than chat everyday, keep the chat to perhaps every other day, it'll give you too more to talk about than just your bust size.
Don't listen to everyones advice here, they don't have at stake what you do. We don't know your fiance. We don't know what it is that will push his buttons, you should know that but like most people said its very important to communicate how you feel about it without embarrasing him or making him feel like you don't have these feelings for him.
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
all he wants to find out is how big are your boobies...whats wrong with it. On a second thought, he is your cuz and must have seen you in person. How come he is asking this after having seen you. He doesn't sound like an experienced man - another negative. I say dump his sorry ass over the phone. If you hang up three times in a row it may be considered as finito.
Re: Is it Ok that u r fiancee talk like this?
^ lol.