Re: Is it normal?
what does that mean?
there are two types of mehar.
Pay immediately after nikkah
Haq Mehar on demand. (wife can ask at any time of her mehar)
Re: Is it normal?
so how is that related to anything i have said? @TLK
there are two types of mehar.
Pay immediately after nikkah
Mehar on demand. (wife can ask at any time of her mehar)
Re: Is it normal?
oh sorry. i read your post and ignored his. you knew what it is. 
Re: Is it normal?
so how is that related to anything i have said? @TLK
WHen you are negotiating and putting that amount (which is applicable only in case of divorce), are you not thinking about the possibility of it already?
Re: Is it normal?
two different things, what is allowed by religion/law and what you have cooked up own self
if some girl says i will rip this guy apart if he divorces me if completely diff that agreeing on mehr
WHen you are negotiating and putting that amount (which is applicable only in case of divorce), are you not thinking about the possibility of it already?
Re: Is it normal?
dude, no one - not even OP is cooking up Islam. What she is asking for is part of our official nikah nama already. Go and read line number 18
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somewhere after post 15 you lost track of what i objected and the underlining reason
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point number 19.
what if husband says three T-words, would his wife sill in nikkah with respect to point number 19
Re: Is it normal?
The marrying other women part is weird - but I can understand leaving her a large sum of money. I have a very close friend who was married to a guy, seemed good blah blah. Her parents gave her LOADS of jewellery and furniture and just loads of stuff, she was the first in their entire family to be married so it was also a very big wedding. The guys family got a load of stuff from them too (mother got gold karras etc etc). Anyhoo, a year later he divorced her and took all her stuff, kicked her out of the house and her dad had to fly out to bring her back home (she was in Europe). A lot of people take advantage of girls and their families giving a lot of stuff to them, so it's understandable to want some backup.
Re: Is it normal?
Thanx everybody for replying, really appreciated.
I said in my first post that i consider this demand "justified". I know that at the time of Nikkah, woman can have right of divorce too, and lay down conditions regarding "mehar" etc. I was just curious that is it normal in our society to lay down such conditions before wedding? When it comes to rights of women, i am a big supporter.
However, the "reason" she gave, i consider it totally wrong. I can't imagine marrying someone who is frankly telling me that she doesn't trust me and she will ruin me in case i divorce (mess with) her. Though shes being practical but don't you think she will be way more practical after marriage?
Re: Is it normal?
Thanx everybody for replying, really appreciated.
I said in my first post that i consider this demand "justified". I know that at the time of Nikkah, woman can have right of divorce too, and lay down conditions regarding "mehar" etc. I was just curious that is it normal in our society to lay down such conditions before wedding? When it comes to rights of women, i am a big supporter.
However, the "reason" she gave, i consider it totally wrong. I can't imagine marrying someone who is frankly telling me that she doesn't trust me and she will ruin me in case i divorce (mess with) her. Though shes being practical but don't you think she will be way more practical after marriage?
She is using her right if she is demanding this. But the way she puts it is strange and is creating bad feelings in you for her. Try to discuss your feelings with her and tell her that really would like both of you to work for a happy marriage and she should really reconsider her decision of marrying you if she doesn't trust you. Afterall, trust is an important factor for marriage and if trust is lacking, its not a good start to the marriage.
If she would have put this demand by telling you that she wants her future to be secured because of high incidences of divorces these days and would try her level best to make the marriage work, it would have been better.
Re: Is it normal?
this is what i was talking about @ TLK
thx @ DM
Thanx everybody for replying, really appreciated.
I said in my first post that i consider this demand "justified". I know that at the time of Nikkah, woman can have right of divorce too, and lay down conditions regarding "mehar" etc. I was just curious that is it normal in our society to lay down such conditions before wedding? When it comes to rights of women, i am a big supporter.
However, the "reason" she gave, i consider it totally wrong. I can't imagine marrying someone who is frankly telling me that she doesn't trust me and she will ruin me in case i divorce (mess with) her. Though shes being practical but don't you think she will be way more practical after marriage?
Re: Is it normal?
This girl is practically waving a red flag in the guy's face.
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hmm
how about a virginity test as a precondition..........can you put that down in a nikah? thats not offensive is it??
Re: Is it normal?
Virginity test is offensive because you are asking; What did you do before you met me?
Divorce condition in case of 2nd marriage is: What are you going to do after we start living together?
two diff things and first one is offensive, unless boy says that lets both pick Quran and swear upon that we are virgin. if the guy remained virgin then he deserves a virgin girl, but more often its the guys who are not virgin, who have doubts on their bride to be that she is also not virgin.
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so past is offensive........future is not?? kamaal hai ..
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past os offensive cause guy was not part of her life and she was not committed to him (unless she was his mangaiter and he is strictly talking about that specific period)
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in my opinion, in this day and age, if a girl wants to protect herself financially, she should get a job and have a career rather than using mehr
so past is offensive........future is not?? kamaal hai ..
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past os offensive cause guy was not part of her life and she was not committed to him (unless she was his mangaiter and he is strictly talking about that specific period)
I agree, because i think past starts from the time you are committed to someone...... What a guy/girl did before that, shouldn't be of concern if both are sincere with each other at the present.
Re: Is it normal?
a girl can put any condition she wants in a nikkah nama, but y not try to talk to her about why she feels the need to do so? I'm sure if you talk to her and try removing her reasons for doubts/fears it will make her appreciate you, give her a reason to trust you . Rather then assuming there's something wrong with her.
My uncle asked his wife if he could mary again n she simply said Islam has given u the right. n they r the cutest , like no matter whether she is talking about the solar system or some neighbour in 5 minutes she comes to "...and u know my husband, or my husband says". Point being: sometimes ppl have a funny or odd way of telling u about their rights, I'd say get to the root of her concerns.