my in laws, want to surprise me so are not telling me the colours for the outfits…waleema one they kind of told me its pink, however no other detail…they wont show me pic of it, and they wont show me or tell me the culour of the mendi outfit too…everything must be a surprise and it annoying…even my fiance says he wont tell me so wait…i dont understand this, us brides are already under stress, and now they think its a good idea not to tell me the outfit im wearing for waleema and mendi…because ``its so beautful we dont want to ruin the surprise for you`…puhleaseeee, IM WEARING IT…so tell me for gods sake…i dnt understand this game…my fiance knows everything that hes gna wear…he even chose the colours himself…so p*** taking…fiance is telling me not to compare, cos girls are not meant to know what theyl be wearing from boys side, WTF…who told him that…hes annoying me very badly right now…smug twat…
sorry if this sounds really childish, i guess im turning mad with all the tension already on me…
^^^its the same with me. my fiance wants my walima dres to b a surprise.(i hope its a plesent surprise) i told him i wud never talk to him again n that i wont get ready 4 valima if i didn’t lik the dress, but kept on saying im not telling u im not telling u… i wonder if this surprise valima dress is a new trend or some thing.
Re: is it in your right to know what your going to wear
My MIL kept everything a surprise too (mangni clothes, shadi clothes, valima clothes). She asked what I wanted, but in the end, I did not know what I was getting (except for getting a bit of info from some spies ).
My hubby on the other hand chose his shadi clothes and valima clothes on his own. But I think part of the reason for that is just that there is more excitement and flexibility with the bride’s joras.
Obviously it would be nice to know what you’re getting – and even have a say in how it turns out. But that’s not always how it is. You have to choose what the priority is – getting the right clothes or maintaining a decent relationship with the inlaws? It shouldn’t have to be one or another, but try not to make a huge deal out of things that don’t have to be.
Re: is it in your right to know what your going to wear
its so P taking isnt it.....the groom who probably doesnt even care what he wears, knows what hes wearing. while me, bridezilla of all brides, he knows how i am, he knows im tense and il worry about the dress not being all that, i just want to know the godddamn colour.....and he wont tell me....he cant ruin the surprise...its not gift for gods sake. i need to like and feel comfy in what im wearing....i ould understand if i didnt even know him as well, but i know quite well now, we spend hours talking, i dont understand the big seriosuness of it all..
Re: is it in your right to know what your going to wear
nadz i was in the same situation, i was shown my valima outfit on the day of my valima! i wasnt too happy with the way it was shown to me as i was taken into the room filled with my in laws and my outfit was on the bed- obv i couldnt say i didnt like it, but i realised that they did genuinely want to surprise me (in a nice way), although the lehnga wasnt to my taste, i could tell they had spent a lot on it & bought it with a lot of love.. so my advice would be to chill out & pray for the best! inshallah it will be perfect & if its not, dont get upset over it, wear it with a smile- not only will you look better in it but your in laws will respect & like u so much more for not creating a fuss!
i totally understand how you feel- i was soo mad for not being able to know the colour, see it let alone choose it myself but some families aren't as easy going & if your marrying into a family like that then its in ur best interest to not ask.
Re: is it in your right to know what your going to wear
yeh i know....i guess im not mad at them...i understand why they may want to surprise me...but whats the matter with my fiance...im more angry at him to be honest..although i understand his loyalty to his mother.....oh well guess il have to chin up..
but i know whats gna happen, they will take me into the room, and SURPRISE Me with it, itl be on the bed to....and im gna HAVE to LOVE IT.....i dnt think i have a choice really in NOT liking it...
muje bahut haffki chari hai abi...
Re: is it in your right to know what your going to wear
i dunno if this is relevent or not....but on my mamoo's wedding my nani insisted my mami wear red on the wedding....she sent over the clothes and it was a really nice jora. however my mami wore a golden lehnga instead.....i think it caused some outrage and she decided to wear the red on the walima instead lolz......so yea.....its horrible the way u wont really know wot u will get to wear....but sumtimes u jst have to go with the flow...mayb it will turn out to be a reallyyyy nice jora? (INSHALLAH) :)
Re: is it in your right to know what your going to wear
I would never let it be a surprise to start with, becuase there is no way you can make me wear that "ugly thing," so to keep everyone happy and all smiles its better if I pick it out!
i thought it was a common thing for the inlaws to choose walima outfit!!
obviously its much better if you got to chose it yourself cos everyone had their own taste....luckly i got to see mine and am very happy with it.
my sil was goin on and on about one of the suits they brought me....when i saw it... it was a horrible dark colour, the fabrics was all wrong and had funny typical kaam which i would never choose for my self!! lol
but it depends on each family and what their traditons are.
Re: is it in your right to know what your going to wear
just sweet talk your fiance and make him understand your sentiments. Tell him that you appreciate the sentiment but you're feeling really nervous and want to make sure your sisters/friends etc dont make similar dresses...
or.. tell him u need to plan your hair and make up so u need to see the dress...
or... tell him u're making your jehaiz clothes so u wanna make sure the valima outfit doesnt clash...
Re: is it in your right to know what your going to wear
i know..well bless his heart i did try twisting his arm today....( not literally) he told me the mendi outfit is green...well thank god for that, i hate yellow...and my waleema is pink and ferozi........he told me not to utter a word to his mother....or he will bury me on the day of the nikahh..:]
Re: is it in your right to know what your going to wear
Damn... Its so annoying.....I am all with you.... Dunt ask your fiance 'just like that' anymore. Dunt keep him under pressure to tell you. Stop asking about the dress for a while. Then he ll wonder by himself why did she stopped asking and making fuss over it. Then try to make him realize indirectly that you didnt want to, but you are giving up just for him but personally you feel bad for yourself. This might make him feel bad and i hope he tells you. This strategy kinda works for me with my hubby lol.... indirect emotional black mailing... :D
By the way How long do you have before your wedding?
Iksa yes u r absolutely right..My MIL is saying to me that she will jus check few shops for lehenga bcoz she hate sooo much searching...But for me it's my wedding day and i like to buy the unique one and i will search it everywhere...Mujhay samajh ye nahi arahi k agar un ko itna masla ha shopping mai to why she is going with me? WHy cant i go with my parents to buy the lehenga...
For Nadz i will jus say dat if i will be there instead of you then i denied to wear them because i m extra stubborn in this matter because it's my wedding day and it's my lehenga and i want to know everything about it..Thats It!!!
i wonder if this surprise valima dress is a new trend or some thing.
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