Is it fair for a woman who makes considerably more money than her spouse (and who is also more ambitious career-wise) to do more household chores and cooking than him? And is it fair if he is only willing to prepare survivial meals (i.e. making a sandwich, canned soup, or scrambled eggs) but refuses to make food that actually requires cooking (i.e. keema, saag, pasta…you get the point). Would like perspectives from both males and females on this one. Thanks.
Re: Is it fair?
might b he is nt good in cooking … 
Re: Is it fair?
Umm regardless of who is making mor emoney, since the 2 of you are BOTH working, the househould duties should be roughly shared depending on who does what better. Maybe if you cook better food, he can take care of other stuff like dishes, chopping veggies, vacuum etc....
Re: Is it fair?
ya but what if because the girl is more ambitious she enrolls in courses outside of work hours to help her get ahead in her career, which means time away from home so less time than her spouse to contribute to housework and cooking?
Re: Is it fair?
So is her husband having trouble cooking because he hates to or because he doesn’t know how 
Do they have kids?
Re: Is it fair?
apple - I think of it this way - even if the girl makes more money - it's all temporary
a guy might never reach her heights but he is more stable.
Once there are kids then a woman just has way toooooo many responsibilities to enjoy life
so while the temporary arrangements of high pay comes from you - just keep that in mind that the more stable income arrangements will still come from him.
Don't get me wrong - I was thinking about the same situation - and personally - even I have same question as you do.
I gave you a reply for short term, but I am looking an answer for long term too.
Such as once your kids are a certain age and you have more time - and doing housework, AND bringing higher pay - then what?
I am in same situation.
Re: Is it fair?
Naturally, all this high paying, career hoopla will end once kids kick n shout if not marriage will be hell for both. Naturally women feel that it's their duty to take care of the home.. so I am with the husband on this. Is it fair? Why do we look for fairness in love? Okay out of love husband/wife should share responsibilities but telling the husband to wear the skirt in the house is just wrong. It's jahilliya!
Re: Is it fair?
Thats why women shouldn't work.
Re: Is it fair?
It doesnt depend on how much money you make, its more about how hard you work. If you are working a 9 - 5 job and make more then he does from a 9 - 9 job, then its your job to cook.
Its not the money that decides it, its the amount of physical work and stress required that should make one person want to cook for the other on any given day.
Re: Is it fair?
He should cook but when you go on a 6 months maternity leave, should he take the leave also or continue to work
Naturally, all this high paying, career hoopla will end once kids kick n shout if not marriage will be hell for both. Naturally women feel that it's their duty to take care of the home.. so I am with the husband on this. Is it fair? Why do we look for fairness in love? Okay out of love husband/wife should share responsibilities but telling the husband to wear the skirt in the house is just wrong. It's jahilliya!
Are you kidding me? Regardless even if women didn't earn more, the husband should be sharing in responsibilities, just mutual respect. How is it fair for wife to work, school & all household duties. That is ridiculous. The husband & wife should be supportive of each other's goals, dreams etc.
Re: Is it fair?
The longer I read these forums the more I realise how easy I have it, I could not be dealing with this attitude, even when I wasn't working my hubby still helped with cleaning.
Re: Is it fair?
To answer some of the questions, he does not want to cook because he finds it "boring"...you heard me, BORING ha! (although he claims he does not know how but that's just bull because anyone can learn) and then at the same time he always acts like a food connoisseur everytime he tries anyone's food, commenting on what could have made it better.
She also does not know how to cook...I mean she knows a few dishes, and can definetly learn by following recipes and has the potential to be good (because everything she has made so far has turned out nice), but she is not a "ghurailoo" type of girl.
They both work 9-5. He would never work in a job that was 9-9 (because he is not the workaholic type at all...he is not ambitious).
Everyone is talking about oh once she has kids he becomes the breadwinner....well kids aint coming into the equation for a while and when they do, she would only take 1 year of maternity leave.....so ya during that one year she doesn't mind doing more if she is at home all day.
Re: Is it fair?
OK they both work 9-5, she has extra courses, she makes more money, that doesn’t mean she should have a superior attitude. Marriage isn’t a contract where you have terms and conditions. You try to find out what works better for your home. Now if he doesn’t like cooking, maybe they can buy food from outside…hey all that extra money she’s making and about to make should come to use no? Why the stress? Of all the things, she shouldn’t be making her husband feel inferior in any way. She wouldn’t like it if her husband was doing that to her I suppose. Maybe he isn’t a “ghurailoo” type of guy either 
Re: Is it fair?
women job to cook n work 9-5
Re: Is it fair?
Maybe he can help clean around the house and she can cook.. why cant they both come to an agreement and see each other point of view. Maybe he feels threatened by her being the higher paid one. It could be a killer to his man pride and maybe she needs to be a bit supportive and just talk to him nicely instead of maybe making him feel inferior as he may do. Just a suggestion
Re: Is it fair?
agree with Niksik
what does salary have anything to do with who does the chores in the house? I mean, that just means, if u earn more, ur allowed to be nastier..
marriage is about a commitment, a lifetime together.. its about doing things together, or at least sharing responsibilities.
If you are working and doing extra courses on the side, then talk to the husband and see how you can manage the chores and responsibilities together. Ur partners in everything.. i dont see how money changes any of that.
And, a lot of times people dont know how to cook certain things. Goes for both female and males. How about you teach him how to cook simple things.. he doesnt need to know how to cook lavish things. Just teach him the basics. But dont make it such an ego issue.. and certainly not a money thing
Both the hubz and i work 9-5 jobs.. but we both know what our responsibilities are. There are some things he takes care, some I do.. and others we share. How hard can it be?
The longer I read these forums the more I realise how easy I have it, I could not be dealing with this attitude, even when I wasn't working my hubby still helped with cleaning.
mine too. he always help his share even cooks whenever i hav to go somewhere, hav a gathering over our place or don't feel like.
Re: Is it fair?
^ i know.... these threads make me realise i ought to thank Allah Mian more often. Ok, maybe even the husband, now and then
It doesnt depend on how much money you make, its more about how hard you work. If you are working a 9 - 5 job and make more then he does from a 9 - 9 job, then its your job to cook.
Its not the money that decides it, its the amount of physical work and stress required that should make one person want to cook for the other on any given day.
AGREE.