Is it fair?

[Aimee]

@Niksik

OK they both work 9-5, she has extra courses, she makes more money, that doesn’t mean she should have a superior attitude. Marriage isn’t a contract where you have terms and conditions. You try to find out what works better for your home. Now if he doesn’t like cooking, maybe they can buy food from outside…hey all that extra money she’s making and about to make should come to use no? Why the stress? Of all the things, she shouldn’t be making her husband feel inferior in any way. She wouldn’t like it if her husband was doing that to her I suppose. Maybe he isn’t a “ghurailoo” type of guy either

I completely agree with Nikki, very well said.

[snazzy]

Two things

1. They can try to cook/do housework together - i.e. he helps cut veggies or wash them or something while she actually cooks. But I think the main problem is he doesn't WANT to help, which I think is disrespectful. She could do the passive aggressive thing and not cook either because she finds it too "boring" to do alone as well and see what he does.

2. Men who make less than their wives tend to do less around the house as well. This is because they feel that it is a blow to their ego, and then on top of that helping wife with menial labor is even more blow. They kind of resent that their wife is making more and so don't want to help. this was a study done a few years ago. And it is by no means all encompassing.

Her solution, I know it will not be well taken by most of the members here, is to hold off on the classes until later. How do you think her hubby feels when he is expected to do housework because she is going to classes that will help her make EVEN more than him? He will feel emasculated. His feelings are not right, and the situation does not work both ways, but I think it's making him more and more resentful, and less and less likely to help out and eventually it will lead to more problems. So wait until he climbs up the corporate ladder and makes more than her. Isn't their marital bliss worth more than a few extra $$ at the end of the month?

[NJMasti]

Re: Is it fair?

^ Agree with point # 2

[PhatBalongri]

Re: Is it fair?

Salary doesnt have anything to do with it, neither does career-ambitiousness.

If he doesn't like cooking, why doesnt he do other chores while she does the cooking? Like cleaning or doing dishes? I am sure there are more than enough chores to go around.

[Muzna]

Re: Is it fair?

how much work is it to cook for two people?

[Niksik]

Re: Is it fair?

Muzna, kis duniya mein rehto ho

Don’t you know it takes forever to wash the palak and cut up the garlic…oh now we don’t like to use gingergarlic paste na, it isn’t the same as fresh…and frozen spinach is so 1985. Then people call and distract you while cooking so you end up putting too much mirchai and have to start cooking all over again. It’s so darn hard.

OK sorry, I just wanted to say Hi to you

[Muzna]

@Niksik

Muzna, kis duniya mein rehto ho

Don’t you know it takes forever to wash the palak and cut up the garlic…oh now we don’t like to use gingergarlic paste na, it isn’t the same as fresh…and frozen spinach is so 1985. Then people call and distract you while cooking so you end up putting too much mirchai and have to start cooking all over again. It’s so darn hard.

OK sorry, I just wanted to say Hi to you

LOL
seriously though…I hate it when people lose sight of the bigger picture…how much effort does it take to make a meal?
it must be less than is required to moan and come up with justifications…

[TLK]

@Muzna

how much work is it to cook for two people?

That is the question our family of five used to ask my mom .. :(

[Mabrook]

^ i know.... these threads make me realise i ought to thank Allah Mian more often. Ok, maybe even the husband, now and then

ok i'm gonna do it right now. calling my hubby now.....

[sadzzz]

Re: Is it fair?

^ hahaha good job