Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

I think this is direct result of making it difficult for people to marry, expectation for dowry and making income the decisve point in accepting or rejecting a marriage offer.

Good that they are trying to overcome the issue, *dair aaid durust aaid

Saudis alarmed over number of unmarried women

Call to adopt policies to help avert ‘looming social catastrophe’

  • By Habib Toumi, Bureau Chief
  • Published: 13:32 January 19, 2015

Manama: Saudis have called for radical solutions to help address the growing phenomenon of unmarried women in the country.

The latest alarm was sounded this week by Mohammad Al Abdul Qadir, the head of Wiam Family Care Society, who said that around 1.5 million Saudi women above 30 were not married.

The figure represents 33.4 per cent of the number of women in the kingdom, he said, local daily Makkah reported.

“We need to work on a new vision for Saudi families for the next ten years,” he said. “We need solutions that are based on the consolidation of the values of family solidarity and cohesion in order to confront several phenomena, particularly spinsterhood,” he said.

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Some Saudi female activists said that the figure of unmarried women in the kingdom was around two million.

“This is a huge and scary figure that indicates an ominous social catastrophe could happen if no radical solutions are found for this phenomenon,” the activists said.

However, several Saudi women have refused to categorise spinsterhood as a dangerous phenomenon, explaining that many women preferred to remain unmarried by choice.

“There are those who have refused to get married for one reason or the other and there are those who have opted to succeed in their lives over getting into marriage,” they said.

According to the daily, many of the men who did not get married said that they did not have a steady source of income to allow them to start a family.

Social experts said the issue and causes of spinsterhood differed from one country to the other.

“In Saudi Arabia, the main problem is that some families ask for high dowries,” they said. “There is also the problem of the onerous costs of the marriage ceremonies. Such problems often push young men to seek to take foreign wives,” they said.

Even though Saudi and other Gulf men overwhelmingly prefer to marry their countrywomen, thousands of them take foreign wives.

The inability to pay large sums of money for dowry, exorbitant marriage ceremonies and high living costs have often been cited as the major reasons for Gulf men to marry non-Gulf women.

The phenomenon has pushed the Gulf countries to look for ways to address it.

One option was to encourage the concept of mass marriages in a bid to help needy grooms and brides with the high costs of ceremonies.

In 2010, Kuwait set up a committee to limit marriages between Kuwaiti men and foreign women.

In 2007, a Bahraini lawmaker caused a storm by urging his male peers to take four wives, three Bahraini women and one foreigner, in order to help address the issue of the high number of spinsters in the country.

Jasem Al Saidi, an independent who served in the lower house from 2002 until 2014, said that Bahraini men should not hesitate to wed more than one wife for the sake of the nation.

“We do not want to have spinsters in the country and we do not want a rise in the divorce rate, either,” he said. “Taking more than one wife is the solution, and I advise that the members of the Council of Representatives should set the example.”

His suggestion was promptly turned down by the other MPs

EDIT:Being deeply touched by this, i can help them reduce this rate a bit only if it is made sure that no one will tell my wife :smiley:

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

So men have to give large haq mehrs. That’s interesting.

I think this is generally what’s happening world over. First generation of men look outwards either by nationality, culturally or religiously. Next generation of women wisen up and follow that example.

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

^In a country with a sky high divorce rate and the fact they can’t even work without their guardian’s permission I’m not sure I blame the women for asking for high mehrs.

Considering how easily they can be divorced + replaced and how little rights they have they probably worry about their security..

“Given the enormous rise in the divorce rate in the Kingdom — the second-highest in the world — the head of Jeddah’s marriage court, Sheikh Saleh Ahmad Habad, has called for urgent steps to address the issue”

Source: Muslim Statistics (Marriage) - WikiIslam

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

Hmmm…I thought this dowry “illat” was prevalent in the subcontinent only?

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

They are marrying foreign wives, because of their testosterone and need to out-do other guys in showing they bagged a white wife. Don’t give me this BS of not being able to support dowry demands. And I agree w/Deeba. If you’re not gonna let the girl work, and divorce rates are increasing, then yeah, she should get a big fat dowry. What happens when she’s kicked to the curb because saudi boytoy found a gori girl to marry in Europe, so he can feel hotter about himself?

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

BS.

Qatar has same problem…and it’s a very liberal country. Qataris and other Gulf women are very high maintenance types so the men usually go for other nationalities.

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

Yes ^ that is true also … WikiIslam is a known anti-Islamic site …

Saudi should seriously consider putting a legal upper cap to the mahr … anything below it should be allowed, but they should make it legally binding not to go above it in any form asset or cash.

They need to put family values back in to the populous - I blame segregation of sex as well … Because the culture very rarely sees men and women together it is no wonder that the family unit has no place in society anymore - men have their male buddies and women have their female girl friends and … the only time the men meet the women is in their homes … probably last thing before going to bed. That is not healthy at all.

The women who tend to ask for huge mahrs are usually the same who are already affluent … so this idea of women being divorced and left to rot is false … The poorer people of Saudi are actually better at maintaining their marriages.

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

^If it mostly the affluent women wouldn’t they be marrying mostly affluent men anyway? So why would they have a problem with the high mehr??

Poorer women are less likely to divorce in most societies.. and not because they’re happier or “better” at maintaining marriages.. Yes, some of the wealthier women are “high maintenance”, but probably no more so than those in Dubai and similar places.. The main difference is that women in Saudi have MUCH less control of their own lives.. As I’ve already said I don’t really blame them for asking for a high mehr.. If you need your husband’s permission just to go out to work and can be divorced in minutes no wonder the women feel they need security..

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

Another reason for high rate of divorce could be that divorce isn’t considered a taboo here; at least not as far as I’ve come across it.
Saudi women are high maintenance.
For those who think all Saudis don’t want to let their wives work; there’s a large portion of Saudi men (specially the ones in major cities) who ask to get married to a working woman.
And no, all the reasons stated in this thread trying to justify a high haq mehr don’t make sense. So its wrong for a guy to ask for dowry and right for a girl to ask a high haq mehr ? Sometimes its the girls family asking for high haq mehr, not the girl.

@psyah

What exactly do you mean by the family unit having no place in society?There is no segregation at restaurants , malls, parks etc. A family can go as a family anywhere except to parties.

What the government should do is:

  • limit the amount of haq mehr
  • reduce wedding costs by limiting the costs of wedding halls, wedding gowns etc.
  • compulsory courses during highschool about the importance of having a family.
  • pre marital courses giving some sort of marriage counselling to couples about to get married should also become a requirement.

My two cents :slight_smile:

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

I won’t argue for the sake of arguing … most of your two cents matches my two cents anyway …

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

Men and women both have little control in Saudi’s lack of social infrastructure …

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

I wanted to know how exactly segregation of sex contributes to this problem.

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

Another thing to consider is the ratio of unmarried men to unmarried women.

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

seriously?

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

Read “pre marital courses” as something else.

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

It is not just that … it is the way it is done. Coupled with consumerism and individualism winds coming from the West. Spoiling children coming from the money, having children raised by maids … destroys culture if there is not enough family time together.

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

I agree with the rest of what you said here but I still don’t get how segregation is the culprit.

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

Well it’s a theory I have … I believe unnatural extents of segregating genders that you create whole systems of separation - then people cannot learn how to handle each other as the other gender. Pakistan or Malaysia is far better in terms of society than Saudi in my opinion - it feels more natural.

In the middle east - Women and men grow up independently because of the separation and they get on with their lives without interdependency because of the separation - then when they are married they would rather spend time with their own gender folk out of habit and the family suffers. As I said it is like a semi-formed conclusion I have come to after studying society in the middle-east … no doubt it could be riddled with errors and problems, exceptions to the rule and so on.

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

Its perfectly in line with Deeba’s anti-Islamic point of view. According to the wikiIslam - this the true origins of the Quran.

The Origins of the Qur’an - WikiIslam

Re: Is it a direct result of modernisation of saudi policies?

Oye Zafra, tu kahaan tha aaj saara din ?

PA main nahi aaya PTI fan bashing kay liyay.

I haven’t been ridiculed all day and I am starting to itch. :chai: