Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam
I would not stay. Abuse is abuse and it eats away at you until you dont have much left to offer anyone...not even your children.
If he is hitting me, he doesnt care if I hurt. If he doesnt care that I hurt, he doesnt love me. If he doesnt love me, why is he here?
Gulab its easier said than done.thos who r married can understand the pressure of society very well.its a matter of honor n if that lady gets divorce even though she seems right in her fears there r relatives n close ppl who r not understanding n it might cause probs for her after she gets it.but if she goes back there r no gaurantees.
look, there are also many many understanding people in society too. We don't live in a society full of hard headed people. Most people understand that abusing your wife is not right! It's a matter of what you want to focus on....
One of my mothers childhood friend was in a similar situation, where the husband beat her soooooo much, cheated on her, the whole nine yards! Finally she got sick of it and went back to her parents. She got married again and is SOOOOO happy mashallah and even has beautiful kids!
Allah will only open doors of oppurtuinity for you when you attempt yourself to make your life better, and of course make dua.
Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam
As another example, I remember reading about a story about this young Hindu girl, who when she was getting married, her fiance's side started to demand stuff from the girl's family- and her parents were giving in to each of their demands. The girl, however called the police, and the guy got arrested. After that incident she became a celebrity, and she got many many suitors.....
See, another example of how Allah helps people who attempt to help themselves.
actually islam does allow beating wife but only mildly in the case if she is bent on doing stupid. as we pakistanis are great followers of islam to extreme so we threw acid on their faces or burn them,. this shud not happend
Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam
people have already written that daruba can be translated many ways and wen you look at rest of the surahs in quran it is unlikely that it meant to beat and yes some scholars explained it as such but their word is not word of god. In the end, lets be careful and not take that one interpretation of the word, especially since it seems out of synch with the rest of the message if you consider it as 'beat'
:k:
I think what RV has quoted is far more important for a Muslim man to follow rather than worrying about whether to beat up his wife or not.
Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam
even if she is badkidhar as some one mentioned as a valid excuse for hitting , why get your hands dirty ... just ditch her man !
kuch bhooT lattoN se be nahii mantay haiN !
As another example, I remember reading about a story about this young Hindu girl, who when she was getting married, her fiance's side started to demand stuff from the girl's family- and her parents were giving in to each of their demands. The girl, however called the police, and the guy got arrested. After that incident she became a celebrity, and she got many many suitors.....
See, another example of how Allah helps people who attempt to help themselves.
the lady i'm talking about is elderly n this was her second marriage.She has grown up kids n though kids r on her side their inlaws r not.
Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam
Absolutely not!
Gulab its easier said than done.thos who r married can understand the pressure of society very well.its a matter of honor n if that lady gets divorce even though she seems right in her fears there r relatives n close ppl who r not understanding n it might cause probs for her after she gets it.but if she goes back there r no gaurantees.
people left their homes, their loved ones and everythign that a person considers important just because they cudnt bear the inustice and didnt want to do anything wrong. plz learn sumthign from those ppl not sum sissy cowards who think getting beaten up and abused and doing nuthign about it is ok jst because "the great society" doesnt approve of it. we make society it can be moulded to watever "society" we want it to be. so set an example be a hero. much better than beign a victim.
my 2 cents!
either they were doing it playfully or those husbands love them too much otherwise a man rarely takes such assault
Gr8heera i'm sorry for reminding u of that terrible memory must b someone very close.the question i'm asking is abt someone very close to me.
Awww it's ok dear those seens made me so strong.
Okay when people ask a question like this- the first thing I think is-- USING COMMON SENSE IS NOT HARAAM!!!!
obviously she should separate (this does not need a super duper maulana to understand !)
If she's doing it for the sake of society, then that is very near committing shirk...you should not care about what other people think of you so much, that you do things FOR THEM....Allah gave her the right to divorce, so why deny that right for "society"?
Totally agree except very near committing shirk.
Also, in the time of Muhammad (s), society did not like the fact of marrying the daughter of your adopted son. But Muhammad (s) did so, because Allah Mian commanded it. Just because "society" expects something from you, does not make that an excuse for you to do something....Step out of society and set an example for the other sisters to the right thing when they are being wronged!
Agree 100% agree. Thanks for sharing that hadees. I haven't heard or read that before.
Society say kia darna. Bhar main dalo society ko. I know it's impossible for us.
Per khud ko jooton ki noak pay daily rakhna apnay saath sara sir zulm hai aur Allah kay yahan is ka hisaab dena ho ga. Agar majboor naheen to chor dena chahyay.
Gulab its easier said than done.thos who r married can understand the pressure of society very well.its a matter of honor n if that lady gets divorce even though she seems right in her fears there r relatives n close ppl who r not understanding n it might cause probs for her after she gets it.but if she goes back there r no gaurantees.
Araay Allah koi kaam mushkil naheen apnay huq kay liaay Allah pay mukammal bharosa kar kay qadam uthain daikhain Allah kia karta hai.
I can uderstand the consequences but sari zindagi jootay khanay say behtar hai kick him out from your life.
Tell your friend that ask relatives to first ask him not to touch her ever other wise she won't go back to him.
urrr jain apnay baat pay.
Abusive mahol main rehnay wali larkiaan hi abusive relation main rehti hain ya rehnay ki himmat rakhti hain. Unhon nain aisa hi daikha hota hai is liaay wo unka normal hota hai aur family bus samajhti hai her haal main husband kay saath rehna achcha hai.
Allah nain chornay per madad ka wada kia hai quran main iskay ilawa sabr kar kay saath rehnay per silay ka bhi wada kia hai. Ub aap pay munhasir hai kay kia choose karteen hain.
I would not stay. Abuse is abuse and it eats away at you until you dont have much left to offer anyone...not even your children.
If he is hitting me, he doesnt care if I hurt. If he doesnt care that I hurt, he doesnt love me. If he doesnt love me, why is he here?
Sister jis kay saath beetti hai wo bohat si baton ko bhi madd e nazar rakhti hai ya rakhna parta hai ya family rakhwati hai.
Jub tuk kisi kay saath wo sub kuch beeta na ho ya daikha na ho wo naheen samajh sakta saray situation ko.
Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam
Chalo jo Allah keray sub k haq main behter ho.I'm worried abt her i know how our ppl r.they never understand ones pain n just destroy ur reputation.
the lady i'm talking about is elderly n this was her second marriage.She has grown up kids n though kids r on her side their inlaws r not.
This really doesn't have anything to do with society....Even in the US there are women who stay with their drunken, abusive husbands. YOu will find these women have a million reasons to do so. The point is you can easily find a million reasons of why you shouldn't help yourself...
To defend themselves they will uses cliches like "it's easier said then done"--- well, just sitting there and saying cliches like this will not help you, nor will making excuses ( and you will endless amount of them!). Only action will make her life better...
even if she is badkidhar as some one mentioned as a valid excuse for hitting , why get your hands dirty ... just ditch her man !
kuch bhooT lattoN se be nahii mantay haiN !
Totally agree with you.
Laikin baaz sudhar bhi jatain hain laaton say.
Wo bhoot jo laaton say bhi na sudhrain phir unkay liaay bhi to quran nain kaha hai akhri hul 3 * talaq.
the lady i'm talking about is elderly n this was her second marriage.She has grown up kids n though kids r on her side their inlaws r not.
Waisay to us lady kay liaay afsos ki baat hai. Laikin khushi ki baat hai kay us kay buchchay uskay saath hain. Zahir hai wo sub zulm daikhtay hain to samjhtain hain Zalim kaun aur mazloom kon.
Here is a true story.
Aik husband apni biwi ko ko buri tareeqay say mara karta tha kay buchchay dar jatay thay saham jatay thay. Aik din to shohar nain mamooli si baat pay itna uskay sir pay itnay jootay maray kay wo aurat nidhal ho kar gir pary yani baith gai kay us say roka bhi na janay laga. Laikin us per bhi husband ko sabr naheen aya aur wo biwi kay sir pay jootay barsata raha, barsata raha aur wo maar khati rahi. Buchchay dar aur saham kar kharay tamasha daikhtay rahay bohat chotay jo thay.
Us din us aurat ki beti nain kaha "aap chor kioon naheen deteen inko. Kioon inkay saath rehteen hain" Aurat boli phir tum sub ko kon palay ga main to itna parhi likhi naheen kay tum sub ko paal sakoon. Main budkari naheen karna chahti tum logon ko palnay kay liaay.
Aurat kay parents doosray mulk main thay aur un say uska koi contact bhi naheen tha.
Isi mahol main buchchay baray huway. Aik beta jub sirf 12 ya 16 saal ka hi hoga kay aik din us nain apnay baap ka apni maan pay utha huwa haath pakar kar zor say dabaya aur kaha aaj kay baad meri maan per yay haath uthay to yay haath tor doon ga. Us din say us shaksh nain marna chor dia biwi ko.
Phir wo sirf chupkay chupkay galiaan raat ko baka karta tha wife ko Iskay ilawa biwi kay munh pay thook dena haath kabhi touch honay pay jhatak dena waghaira waghaira.
As a husband wife to na jaanay kub say naheen reh rahay thay.
Din bhar ghar naheen ata tha sirf raat ko ghar sonay ata tha.
Buchchon ko samajh aa gia tha baap to unka naheen maan aik seedhi saadhi aurat hai so jo karna hai unhon nain khud karna hai.
So baray buchchon nain na sirf khud parha aur chotay bhai bahnon ko bhi parhaya. Aaj masha Allah sub aik say aik position pay hain.
Yay sari story sunanay ka maqsad yay hai kay.
Phir baray larkay nain buchpun main socha tha aur kaha tha kay hum sub bahar nikal jaain gay koi bhi yahan naheen rahay ga so Allah nain uski muraad poori ki aur aik aik kar kay chund buchchay bahar nikal gaay Maan baap aur chota beta reh gaay.
Baap choonkay baray betay say darta tha wo jub chala gia to us nain zulm o situm kay pahar tor diaay wife pay aur kahta raha kay yahan say chali jao betay kay paas.
Aur betay say paisay manta tha kay bahar say kama kar mujhay bhaijay bhai bahnon nain kaha us betay ko parhnay kay paisay diaay naheen us nain khud kama kar parha ub wo paisay kis baat kay baap ko day ga. Jub kay baap achcha khasa kamata tha aur apnay sub rishtaydaron aur ghairon pay lutata tha.
To baap nain apni wife ko kaha tum yahan say chali jao wo naheen gai to zulm say uska bura haal kar dia to wahan pay maujood buchchon nain zabardasti apni maan ko bhaija kay unka marnay ka haal ho gia tha jubkay bara beta kub say apnay paas bula raha tha kay meray paas aa jain to wo kahteen theenkay jub sari zindagi jootay kha kar guzar gai ub akhri waqt bhi aisay hi guzar jaanay do.
So maan baray betay kay pass ponhach gai aur us nain kafi hud tuk khiaal rakha apni maan ka sub buchon nain bhi jitna ho saka.
Sub loag wife ki itni izzat kartay thay unkay undaaz ki wajah say aur akhir kar wo aik din is dunia e fani say kooch kar gain.
Wo namaaz rozay main sirf lug gaeen theen so is zulm ka to Allah insha Allah unko bahtareen sila day ga. Laikin Allah ki ibadat main lugnay ki wajah say unhon nain apnay iteqaal ka khuwaab pehlay hi daikh lia tha aur buchchon ko bata dia tha. To un kay baray larkay nain poocha kay aap kia karna chahteen hain.
Aurat nain kaha main umra karna chahti hoon aur akhri baar tumharay abbu say milna chahteen hoon. So beta unko umra karwanay aur baap say milanay la gaya. Haj to wo pehlay kar chukeen theen aur unkay pass aur hajj karnay ka time naheen tha.
Phir kuch arsa baad unka inteqaal ho gia.
Baray betay ko bohat duaain deteen theen kay Allah tujhay itna ooncha karay kay dunia qadam choomain. Masha Allah aaj wo beta aala ohday pay hai aur khoob taraqqi kar raha hai.
Aap loag hayrat karo gay kay wo shuksh intehai parha likha aur numaya position hasil karnay wala tha.
So
Buchchay baray hain to wo rakhain apnay paas apni maan ko. Nikaal lay is umr main zulm say apni maan ko aur her tarha say khiaal rakhay. Zaroori naheen kay talaq lay. Buchchon kay saath rehna shuru kar day.
Allah her musalman ko taleem kay saath saath aql o danish day.
Wo aadmi itna bura naheen tha us kay bhai bahan us ko lootnay kay liaay bahkatay aur jadoo tonay karwatay thay us par.
Chalo jo Allah keray sub k haq main behter ho.I'm worried abt her i know how our ppl r.they never understand ones pain n just destroy ur reputation.
I know this very well. Maro goli logon ki reputation ko. Wo koi takleef say nijaat naheen dilati.
Aik film ka gana tha
Dunia bura kahain ussy goli maro.
Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam
^those ladies r rigt Gulab until u r married u cannot imagine how hard its to step back n take a divorce.its no child play.even those who take don't always end up in 'happily ever after'' My husband has this friend.She was Sikh n she stayed for yrs in a highly abusive relation.She had 3 girls with him.Finally she left him n ran away to hide the girls from him.She never found another guy.One guy came used her to get immigration n went his way.She does two jobs plus on off cleaning jobs n i know how hard it gets for her effecting her nerves.She's only 35 n a patient of high blood pressure.Her stres level is always very high.though now she has her freedom but shes paying a big price for it.And as her girls r getting bigger they wre leaning more towards dad.Like after all the pains shes taking if the girls still wanna b with the dad wats a lady suppose to do?it sure is'easier said than done''
Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam
ewhat about ladies hitting their husbands? liek when they cheat and stuff, cuz maybe woh bhi sudhay jayen..laaton say..and if the ladies are petite they can always outsource the thukai to freelancers :halo:
VERY TRUE Mabrook.
LOL Idea bura naheen hai par jub husband peetay ga to wo usko peet naheen sakain gi haan agar black belt huween to maamla aur ho sakta hai warna to
Kharbooza churi pay giray ya churi kharboozay pay kutna to bechari khurboozay nay hi hai.
Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam
thats why I said outsource it.
i say if a dude hits the wife she should call the cops and he will get a beatdown in the slammer, khud hi sudhay jaye ga.
in the discussion of churri and kharobooza we forget that there are other forces greater than those two.
but then we have this taboo in desi community about calling police, like a jacque arse hitting is wife is kosher but her calling teh cops is bad bad :nono:
y turn into beasts?