Okay so my friend has asked me for some advice and i dont know what to say so i would like some serious advice from people on here as my friend is 6 months pregnant and is basically devastated at the thought of this dilemma she is in… sorry it’s a long one
So she married the love of her life against the boys family wishes ( her family supported them )
and later after marrying him found out her hubby had lied to her and was married ( to a girl in pakistan ) WHILE she was seeing him at the time. His dad went back to pakistan for a funeral and came back with his son’s ‘first’ wife…
He said he didnt know anything about it and was shocked to see her at the airport with his dad.
Following this they had a big row but decided to make their marriage work, her hubby promised he doesn’t want anything to do with his ‘first’ wife ( she is living with the inlaws) or his family as they were getting really abusive and what not the husband even said that he had given the ‘first’ wife divorce over the phone while she was still in pakistan? but whenever my friend says send official divorce papers he has some reason or other like his family’s respect etc.
Now she has heard from someone that his ‘first’ wife is pregnant … she is devastated and is now in turmoil thinking what to do, she wants to confront him but as he has lied before thinks will do the same and at the same time doesn’t know how to find out the truth as she has no contact with his family and the person she heard it from is her family member who originally told her about the first marriage also.
Can she talk to the first wife? What a mess! She needs to confront her husband needs to be firm with him. She can tell him how he lied about his first wife to her when she had found out from another source (if it's safe for her to mention this without revealing the informant's identity). Listen to what he says......and then figure out the pros and cons of this arrangment and whether it's suitable for her...and take the necessary couse of action. Also, how did this family member even find out that the first wife is pregnant?
Hmmm, the first wife wouldn't lie about something like a pregnancy in the hopes to get the second wife separated from her husband? It sounds silly....considering a pregnancy can't be concealed for long.....but eh people can have twisted ideas. Your friend needs to BE CERTAIN about the situation (and not go by a possibility/hearsay) before deciding what she wants to do with her life.
just spoke to my friend and she didnt mention anything to me as her hubby was there
so looks like she hasnt confronted him yet, she can get his mum's house number where
the first wife is but doesnt want the to talk to the MIL as all they do is hurl abuse at her.
**he is a very 'productive' man, indeed! two wives pregnant at the same time ... what a busy life he is gonna have if he decides to raise his both children. it's indeed a messed up situation and there isn't any easy or painless way out.
isn't it illegal to have two wives in the UK? how did he end up marrying a second time without a proper divorce through the courts?
**
Which one of the wives is recognized as his legal wife?
I have no idea! she got married here in uk to him and the first wife in pakistan but he says
he verbally gave taalaq to first wife on phone BEFORE getting married to my friend ?
As my friend didnt know about the first one, dont know where they stand on this...
**are nahiiN baba…mazaaq nahiiN, maiN to la’n ta’n kar rahaa thaa us mard-e-naa_ma’qool par.
well, for your friend…he is NOT worth living with…she may better find a way out. she should seek get a divorce before the third of his wives shows up from nowhere.**
I too feel like saying to her to just get out of this as he has lied soooo many times to her
but i guess she is thinking about her unborn child, she has a good support network at home if she was to just leave him
I have no idea! she got married here in uk to him and the first wife in pakistan but he says he verbally gave taalaq to first wife on phone BEFORE getting married to my friend ?
As my friend didnt know about the first one, dont know where they stand on this...
Did your friend wed her husband in a civil/registration ceremony (or whatever you call it there)? That's important for her to figure out what her rights are.
If he did lie to her, remaining married to his first wife, he's the worst sort of lowlife and quite frankly your friend deserves better than him. Before the guys jump on the "but multiple wives is allowed in Islam," they should remember lying isn't allowed in Islam and he's possibly lied to her twice about something as major as having another wife and continuing that relationship.
Did they have a civil marriage or just the nikaah.? I suppose if shes not had a registered marriage neither are 'legal' wives. If she has then she is. To be honest how can he not know anything about his first wife how was she brought over? What visa? Im assuming a spouse visa which would have needed his info signatures everything so i would assume hes lying through his teeth
Your friend needs to confront him and her sources of info were reliable first time round so im assuming the 'first' wife wouldnt make up her pregnancy. Hes basically too much of a coward to go against his family or stand up for what he thinks is right. Yet he obviously wants his cake and deffo wants to eat it also.! If he doesnt see the first wife as his wife etc why sleep with her? Or is he guna say his family forced him
Did he do just a nikah with your friend and resist a civil ceremony? If so that should have had alarming bells ringing in her head..
If his first wife is the official wife your friend is basically just his mistress in the eyes of the law.. and that poor baby.. I doubt he'll divorce the one from Pakistan cos of family pressure and how ironic he's talking about 'respect'.. if I was wife no.2 I would make sure the whole community knew what he'd been up to..
