My post in the above thread was being very convenietly ignore so I decided to open a new thread. Here I go.
I never asked , but my wife will do laundry, iron clothes, cook, keep the house clean and million of other things around house. We have three kids. I go to work, she stays home does all that and still gets time to watch a movie or some TV shows she like. It is all her love that is why she will do all this and be done and not complain about too much work.
Change of scenario, I have a friend whose wife will try to do all this but will be complaining all the time about too much work around house and she being tired and she will ask my wife how she gets everything done around house. This lady is a house wife too. Now tell me why this woman cannot finish all this and is tired all the time, because, her heart and soul is not into it.
If one does something with interest , love and care it gets done quickly. If one is grouchy and whiny then same thing will take forever to get completed.
I love my wife for all that. She knows I can make good meals and I am good at BBQ but she never asked me , I do it whenever I feel like and volunteer to do that often.
So it is all in attitude, if you are doing it for your spouse because your spouse deserve your love and care then same chore you are doing becomes fun. If you are doing it as a favor then same chore will seem a cumbersome burden to you.
You will say what if the husband does not appreciate your love and care ? Yes some don’t and they take it all granted, you need to work on them to make them realize your importance and the importance of what you do for them . Be creative about it. Whining will not get you anywhere it will add to negativity and hatred instead of positive realization.
Re: Is having a man like having a child to take care of or you or you are a whiner ?
thats quite true... so it all boils down to the wife being appreciated for your hard work and passion right? She will continue to work and not complain as long as she is rewarded (in the form of appreciation or praise or whatever). That's the nature of all women.
And most men fail to give the kind of appreciation the wives deserve. Would you agree? Why else would women nag?
(the above statement is a generalization... Maybe you can change my views on it with ur argument)
Re: Is having a man like having a child to take care of or you or you are a whiner ?
Just like when husband works late hours to provide for the family, the wife supports him by making sure he is getting his rest when he gets home. And the other way around the husband helps and appreciates when his wife takes care of other chores while he is working..
life is not all about compromises, its about understanding and it is very vital in a marriage to understand each other. :)
Mirch bhai waisay thora say bhabhi ka haath bata liya karo :P
but in fact if we look at the Islamic Culture and duties of a wife in Islam..
wife does not have to do all them chores around the house…if the husband is able to afford…then he is supposed to provide domestic help…
One good example…even breast feeding their was not wives duty…husbands would provide wet nurse for that too…
“A careful reading of modern female theologians of Islam would cause western women to be impressed by legal injunctions more than 1,000 years old that, for instance, grant women legal rights to domestic help at the expense of their husbands. Three of the four Sunni schools consider domestic chores outside the scope of a woman’s legal responsibilities toward her husband. Contrast that with US polls showing that working women still do 80% of domestic chores.”
Re: Is having a man like having a child to take care of or you or you are a whiner ?
maybe the other wife is just friggin bored. house work is boring, its not exactly mentally stimulating. . . perhaps she should figure out what she wants to do in life, then they can divvy up the chores.
Matt and I both work. I hate doing housework. He hates it too. But we do it when we have time. . . If I was staying at home doing housework all day, everyday. . . i'd be miserable probably.
And most men fail to give the kind of appreciation the wives deserve. Would you agree? Why else would women nag?
(the above statement is a generalization... Maybe you can change my views on it with ur argument)
I do appreciate , it shows and she knows. Now what kind of appreciation will make someone happy is another subject . May be I will open another thread on that topic.
Mirch bhai waisay thora say bhabhi ka haath bata liya karo :P
Allah key kasam I do. She puts the pots and pans in the dish washer and I turn the switch on. She puts the clothes in the washing machine and I turn it on. Then she transfers the clothes to the dryer and I again turn it on. I roll and unroll the carpets and she does the vacuming. :) Just kidding. I do help out whenever I can.
*I hate doing housework. He hates it too. *.
Last time I checked it was called laziness.:D. No seriously I agree , household chores are boring , but someone has to do them , we cannot live in a dump , right . So why not do them with a smile .
Char din key zindagi hay
hanz kay guzar day ya ro kay guzar day.
Re: Is having a man like having a child to take care of or you or you are a whiner ?
household chores can be boring and can be interesting. its the same as anything..for ladies who think that while they are stuck with vacuuming the living room yet again, its not that their hubbies are having a ball at work, they may be sitting in some god awful boring to the max weekly death by powerpoint meeting as well.
but cooking can be interesting, trying new stuff, etc etc.
and I hate to say it, but the fact is house chores in this day and age dont take much time, especially with dishwashers, washing machines and all.
and I really dont understand why stay at home ladies in pakistan whine, they many of them have servants or get massis to come in and do dishes, clean kitchen and bath, mop the floors etc. not quite sure what it is that they are so overwhelmed with.
Stay at home moms with little kids I can understand, but those w/o kids or kids in school. not sure what all the yip ya is about. Unless ppl are janglee how long does it take to straighten up the place.
and I really dont understand why stay at home ladies in pakistan whine, they many of them have servants or get massis to come in and do dishes, clean kitchen and bath, mop the floors etc. not quite sure what it is that they are so overwhelmed with.
Probably because they can't escape to the beauty salon or their friend's place when massi aunty is cleaning the bathroom... samjha karo!
Re: Is having a man like having a child to take care of or you or you are a whiner ?
Waisay, Mirch, you're right about every lady having their perspective of looking at things. I stay home with 2 kids. I used to freelance from home as well, take kids to school, other activities, errands, groceries, etc. Yeah, sometimes we all complain. But at the end of the day, I think we all have choices.
We are no longer trapped in an age where women had absolute no nos and husbands were complaining about food etc. I am thinking of going back to work and my husband is extremely supportive of how we will manage with the kids and their schedules.
I know many women who have "dish" on 24 hours in their homes, they have cars, they have afternoon parties, etc etc, yet when hubby comes home all they do is complain about everything. I guess it's all a perspective.
My husband helps me a lot in housework and that upsets my inlaws, they argue with him by saying " mian biwi gaari kay do pahiye hain " (you know typical bollywood dialogues) but my husband always present the islamic point of view regarding women and housework.
I know so many Asian women suffer because of Indian culture and Indian movies and bloody starplus dramas influenced inlaws.
My husband helps me a lot in housework and that upsets my inlaws, they argue with him by saying " mian biwi gaari kay do pahiye hain " (you know typical bollywood dialogues) but my husband always present the islamic point of view regarding women and housework.
I know so many Asian women suffer because of Indian culture and Indian movies and bloody starplus dramas influenced inlaws.
Erm sorry I didnt understand why they use this remark if it upsets them tht ur hubby helps u .. Doesnt this remark imply that hubby and wife should work together (be there for each other) to maintain a good balance or i am totally out there?
…Hate to upset the trend in this thread…