umm how am i guilty again?
of annoucing what??? 
Punjab da sher: I am sure the intentions were good but I feel people should be more responsible when introducing strangers ..I’m sure he saw compatibility at some level..which I am finding hard to spot.
Coco: Yes, it can get a little frustrating especially when someone close to you introduces you and it doesn’t work out
Sadia bibi: I’m not sure in what context do u take the word ‘relationship’ ..I mentioned a couple of email exchanges..and that is not a relationship in my book..gunahgaar ko aur gunahgaar na kurain
PA : -) u need to quit going to religion forum..u have started translating based on assumptions
Roman: Before I came to states for studies, although, I didn’t have firsthand exposure to the lifestyle here, but fortunately I had seen half of the world and there wasn’t much of a culture shock…however, I don’t want to relive that phase again unless I really have to for someone special.
I do realize the pitfalls you mentioned regarding eastern and western girls..I try not to judge people based on stereotypes..I am pretty open and that is why I talked to this lady. Like I mentioned, she is a wonderful girl and I don’t see any pitfall or downside to her…I just feel she won’tbe happy with me..maybe she can do better…I’m just giving up on women man! Its not even worth the effort haha! Only if I had dime for everytime I have said that I’d be a rich man by now :-D Laterz..see ya in Pak!
^ Females get put in the same position… as in being introduced to people overseas and then figuring out there is no compatiablilty… there could be.. but u just dont see it…
my dad introduced me to a guy in paki too.. never seen him before.. but apparently hes supposed to be really kewl.. lekin same story as u.. he’s real nice (expects email all the time… given up on me now thank goodness).. but i dont see nething happening.. neways i tried explaing to my mama why it wouldnt work… id rather jump off a cliff!
i think the problem is with our own criteria.. we have too much of it.. sometimes living in the west distorts our thinking.. and when it comes to marriage.. we have this HUGE list of criteria that the proposing person must fulfil before any step can be taken… truth is.. we probably cant even fulfil our own criteria…
u mentioned the girl would stand if u asked her to or sit when requested… u know thats with girls in the west too… ive got a friend whose like what with her hubby.. but when it comes down to work shes a real … aaaaagh! (split personality).. maybe the girl is trying to get into ur good books.. sad thing is… not all guys want an obedient wife.. 
neways best of luck :k:
BoSS, I'm sure we are different people but we do stand on some similar grounds so allow me to let you in on a story.
Last time I went to Pak, my family insisted me to meet this gal that someone else has told them about. I asked about her, family background, education etc. It turned out that she was doing Masters in Islamiyaat. Upon hearing that I jumped off the seat. My reaction was, how the hell did you even think up of this whole idea knowing me. There was no way I was gonna ruin my evening out with friends by going to meet some woman doing Masters in Islamiyaat. I mean, WTF?????
Khair, as it turned out, since my family had involved some other relatives (who knew the girls family), and since they had very good relationships with mediator family, they didn't have the tongue and the heart to break it off to them (people get so much hungup on these sorta things back home) so "mujhay apni family kee laaj rakhnay kay liyay, jhoot moot hee sahi, jaana paRa".
So I went with my family, and the other family, half-heartedly, thinking I gotta be outta there as soon as I get the chance to go pick friends up for outing. We get there, we entered the house, and the girl in question and I both saw eachother. Now, I admit that I've seen few women in my life that the minute I saw them, I was totally blown away. But there is a difference between getting blown away and getting "clicked" and have electric current going through your spine and undergo the condition that can only be described in the Urdu phrase, "dhak say raH jaana". I cannot say that she was drop dead gorgeous as I find myself sitll alive but history can always be justifiably altered to take into account the possible miracles. For the next 15 minutes while I sat there, I just kept asking myself, "WTF did just happen?".
The gal in question looked nothing like what I had stereotyped. She had very nicely cut and appropriately worn shalwar kameez, nice color, and doppata on shoulders. Semi-curly hair with light caramel color streaks, again, very well done and suited -- with the hair, complexion, and the dress. Carried herself very well, greeted the guests very pleasantly and confidently, managed the kitchen and the handled interaction with the guests (my sister, cousin, and another woman from family) quite well. And the way she was talking (we didn't speak directly as her father and brothers were present there), she sounded quite versed and eloquent. Of all the things I'm unsure of, I'm sure of one thing. If I had not met her in person, and had received only emails from here, I'm sure she would have failed to impress me in the very few first lines.
Moral of the story: Men are basically dil phhank aashiq (at least I definitely am) and of all the times when you feel like you can say "No", you never know if you'd end up saying "Yes". I betcha $61 in my wallet right now that if you had liked her from her picture (if you had seen it) or in person, you'd have been head-over-heels by now, or at least till the point she would have turned you off by something that's totally off in your books. So aveiN naa maariya kar. Quit with your "she would have not been happy with me" sorta politically correct statements. TainooN waisay ee o shooroo tooN pasand naee aayee.
PS-
Why it didn't work out with that girl is not a story, a whole friggin' book. But can also be described as in:
*
kuj shar day log vee dhaaday sann
kuj saanooN marn da shoq vee see
*
^ awwww :)
Boss, so in a nutshell, you're looking for an obedient bitch. Someone who would put up with your thick desi accent but talks like Mishal Hussain of BBC America. Someone who would cook chappaatees for you all week long and accompany you to an all gown evening dinner on Saturday night.
Aap jaisoN k liyay aik kahawat hay kay "khaanay ko takka nahee, aur jaan maangti hay ilaaichi"
Boss
May be ur friend think u same as u were back home - 9 o clock news, Murree vacationer etc.
It doesnt take much time to realize about persons we meet - as it took long time as u both emailed it gave her false hopes (if thats the true case anyway) . For a successful marriage most important thing is care and a caring spouse could be anywhere in east or west.
:-/
good luck boss :)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by BoSS: *
Sadia bibi: I’m not sure in what context do u take the word ‘relationship’ ..I mentioned a couple of email exchanges..and that is not a relationship in my book..gunahgaar ko aur gunahgaar na kurain
[/QUOTE]
hehe Boss... yeah maybe its not quite a relationship but a friendly correspondence. I didn't read your post so throughly at first.
Roman made some good points as allways. I also used to stereotype people. So living in another environment doesnt matter, it matters if you guys suit eachother.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Roman: *
*
kuj shar day log vee dhaaday sann
kuj saanooN marn da shoq vee see
*
[/QUOTE]
aw...
I mentioned a couple of email exchanges..and that is not a relationship in my book..
BoSS, aveiN na maariya kar. That was a full-fledge relationship alright. Imagine her "expecting" your email. The wait, the expectation, the dejection upon not receiving one -- while she wraps her dopattay ka palloo around her finger over and over again, and over and over again, and dabana her unglee her daantoN kay tallay, and hurt it, and bleed it, and the mindless act of putting on th band-aide on the zakham that's as much as hurt her finger as her soul and heart, and keep wrapping around the band-aide on wrong finger, or hand altogether. She bites her naakhun again, of the hand that's not hurt yet, runs towards the door upon every single aahat, opens the door, stops herself, and realizes that we don't do that no more. We don't write letters with pencil and khurdaray papers no more.
She comes back from the door. Turns on monitor, the computer, plugs in the modem cord (a lot of work right there!) and awaites whilst the slow connection to one of Lahore's ISPs is in progress. Imagine the anticipation at that moment. She's still got about five minutes to go before she can open her explorer window, log on to Yahoo, and impatiently scan through the email headers. You tell me, how the fk is that different than Heer sitting on the river bank waiting for Ranjha before she gets drowned in the water due to kachha ghaRa (or was that Sohni? Well, one of those, anyway).
Here she sees no sign of no friggin' email from you and her heart breaks and you siteth on your fat arse claiming that that was no freakin' relationship??????
Man, shame on you.
^
Hahahahahaha :-)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Roman: *
I mentioned a couple of email exchanges..and that is not a relationship in my book..
BoSS, aveiN na maariya kar. That was a full-fledge relationship alright. Imagine her "expecting" your email. The wait, the expectation, the dejection upon not receiving one -- while she wraps her dopattay ka palloo around her finger over and over again, and over and over again, and dabana her unglee her daantoN kay tallay, and hurt it, and bleed it, and the mindless act of putting on th band-aide on the zakham that's as much as hurt her finger as her soul and heart, and keep wrapping around the band-aide on wrong finger, or hand altogether. She bites her naakhun again, of the hand that's not hurt yet, runs towards the door upon every single aahat, opens the door, stops herself, and realizes that we don't do that no more. We don't write letters with pencil and khurdaray papers no more.
She comes back from the door. Turns on monitor, the computer, plugs in the modem cord (a lot of work right there!) and awaites whilst the slow connection to one of Lahore's ISPs is in progress. Imagine the anticipation at that moment. She's still got about five minutes to go before she can open her explorer window, log on to Yahoo, and impatiently scan through the email headers. You tell me, how the fk is that different than Heer sitting on the river bank waiting for Ranjha before she gets drowned in the water due to kachha ghaRa (or was that Sohni? Well, one of those, anyway).
Here she sees no sign of no friggin' email from you and her heart breaks and you siteth on your fat arse claiming that that was no freakin' relationship??????
Man, shame on you.
[/QUOTE]
^
your life story is very sad :~( were you the heer/sohni OR kachha ghara?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Roman: *
*
kuj shar day log vee dhaaday sann
kuj saanooN marn da shoq vee see
*
[/QUOTE]
Some one please explain/translate this??? i wana know...
pleeease...
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MyStiCaL_MisS: *
Originally posted by Roman:
kuj shar day log vee dhaaday sann
kuj saanooN marn da shoq vee see
Some one please explain/translate this??? i wana know...
pleeease...
[/QUOTE]
a bit city people were dogged
a bit we were suicidal
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by sadzzz: *
^ Females get put in the same position.... as in being **introduced to people overseas and then figuring out there is no compatiablilty*... there could be.. but u just dont see it...
my dad introduced me to a guy in paki too.. never seen him before.. but apparently hes supposed to be really kewl.. lekin same story as u.. he's real nice (expects email all the time... given up on me now thank goodness).. but i dont see nething happening.. neways i tried explaing to my mama why it wouldnt work.... id rather jump off a cliff!
i think the problem is with our own criteria.. we have too much of it.. sometimes living in the west distorts our thinking.. and when it comes to marriage.. we have this HUGE list of criteria that the proposing person must fulfil before any step can be taken... truth is.. we probably cant even fulfil our own criteria....
[/QUOTE]
''i think when people put culture before religion thats when they cant accept muslims of other races....
sometimes thought.. it does get difficult for two cultures to mix.. but if ur faith is strong.. Allah Mian always guides''
...ha, could u please say that again? :D
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Roman: *
*
kuj shar day log vee dhaaday sann
kuj saanooN marn da shoq vee see
*
[/QUOTE]
I think correct sher is like this..
kuj unj vee ranhvaan aukhiyaan san
kuj gal vich Gham daa tauQ vi si
kuj shar day log vee zaalim sann
kuj saanooN marn da shoq vee see
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Degas: *
I think correct sher is like this..
kuj unj vee ranhvaan aukhiyaan san
kuj gal vich Gham daa tauQ vi si
kuj shar day log vee zaalim sann
kuj saanooN marn da shoq vee see
[/QUOTE]
quite interesting...whos this by?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by punjabi kuri !!!: *
quite interesting...whos this by?
[/QUOTE]
Munir Niazi .. and this has been quite a famous shers .. especially the last 2 ones..
kis da dosh si kis da naee si
ayh gallaaN hun karan diyaan naee
vailay lang gaey tauba vaalay
raataaN hokkay bharan diyaan naee
jo hoya ayh hona ee si
tay honi rokkyaaN rukdi naee
ikk vari jaddoN shuru ho jaavay
gall fayr aiveen mukdi naee
kujh unj vi raahvaan aukhiyaaN san
kujh gall vich gham da tauq vi si
kujh shehar day lok vi zaalim san
kujh mennu maran da shoq vi si
Munir Niazi
Boss easy solution, tell ppl not to introduce you to anyone, and then go find someone yourself.
khissa khatam, khas kam jahaan paak.