Someone introduced me to this girl in Pakistan…she is a Pakistani as in she has never gone out of Pak. She has probably gone to Murree for recreation. Her exposure to the world is nine o’clock.khabarnama on ptv …that is scary but that doesn’t mean she is a bad girl… So I exchanged a couple of emails with this girl knowing that the person who has introduced us is a very close friend of mine and he knows me inside out..he must have put some thought into who I can get along with and stuff..
To cut the long story short…the girl is extremely nice….I think if I tell her to sit she will sit and If I tell her to stand she will stand (just an analogy, chill)…a very traditional, eastern girl and I think she would make a great housewife..but I doubt that she would fit with me….not that I am looking for a bitch either…
Based on my past experiences I try not to spend a lot of ‘serious time’ with girls I know its not gonna work with…Over the years my temperament for a long distance, over the phone and internet relationship has almost reached a nil…only if I could find a decent girl in a club someday that would work
I got this email from her this morning saying …why haven’t u emailed me…I am expecting ur email etc.and I felt like banging my head on the keyboard.. Now I have to explain the whole nine yards
I don’t understand why people introduce couples who are on the opposite sides of the spectrum…I can only wish that nice people make good couples but unfortunately that’s not the case…understandable!
My advice to all of you is that don’t introduce people just for the sake of it…at least be considerate if you are trying to help.
Well sometimes people dont know you as well as they think they do. Other times, they try and match you with someone who will be "good" for you. By that I mean someone who will be a good influence on you ;/
You mentioned being considerate. Wasn't that your friends intention in the first place? He was being considerate, wasn't he? I mean he didn't just pick someone out of a jackpot. Obviously, some thought went into it.
Then again I don't blame you for feeling frustrated. I've been in your shoes a couple of times being introduced to people for the sake of hooking up. Lo and behold they aren't what you see yourself getting along with in the long run due to personality clashes, the awkward silence and lack of conversation. On top of that, having a slave for a wife (which is what you explained) ain't fun either. The guys that surround me, none of them want a 'yes woman' and thats what we get back home. There are hardly any in Pakistan that can stand on their two feet without having their partner to guide them with their pinky finger through out.
Hmm..decent girl in a club eh? Well, there are a few but can be quick at tongue and too hard to handle.
As for the khabarnama girl back in Pakistan. Let her off easy . . . she deserves that much.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by BoSS: *
To cut the long story short…the girl is extremely nice….I think if I tell her to sit she will sit and If I tell her to stand she will stand (just an analogy, chill)…a very traditional, eastern girl and I think she would make a great housewife..but I doubt that she would fit with me….not that I am looking for a bitch either...
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BoSs ji, so if a girl is not the obedient, perfect-housewife-material she's automatically a "bitch"??
BoSS, I think you're wrong in your approach about this girl. How much exposed were you when you came to US? My guess is pretty much as much as anyone else of us.
There are two extremes to this whole "finding the right girl" attitude. Guys who want to meet someone back home as much as at the extreme as the one who want someone already living in North America. I'm not saying this is a wrong criteria in seeking someone, but basing your search striclty on any one of it is bad. You never know where you meet someone that fits you. Keep your horizon open (which you've as it seems in terms of willing to talk to this girl).
There are pitfalls in both situations. I used to feel the same way. It was very much important for me to meet someone from NA. Hey, I went through cultural shocks when I arrived here. I didn't want to relive that in the form of importing a wife from Pakistan and having to deal with explaining or teaching every single thing for a newcomer. Too much work for me, I have lost the patience for that. But I was wrong. After meeting many, many women who were either raised in US or were FOBs like me but living here for a long time I felt that Desi women abroad have their pitfalls too. I saw so many weird and rediculious hangups that it was just repelling. Pretense, egoism, inflexibilty, and playing games to fulfill their weird westernized fantasies are just to name few. That doesn't mean that there are no nice women abroad. It only means that there are pitfalls in both cases.
To give you an example. One of my aunt is FA pass from Pakistan. She is not even from a metro area like Lahore or Karachi, but from more rural area. She's been in US for past 20 years or so. She's raised a ver good family of 4 boys. She is as much of a good housewife as she is a hard worker to work to support her family in the times of need. Few years back, my uncle got laid off. He decided to take couple of years off to develop a semi-conductor based product on his own. The family lived on their savings for a while and eventually they needed additional financial resources to support it. My aunt did not hasistate to work as a cashier at a departmental store. When the family got back on their feet again, she went back to being a full-time housewife. I think that was great of her. Now that's a woman!
The point of the above story is not that there are no such women abroad, but rather that it is not necessarily true that someone from Pakistan cannot walk shaana bashaana with you in the most trying situations of life or cannot learn the ways to westernize to the level that's compatible to your lifestyle so don't chalk that out. I think it's very much understandable in the case of this woman that you met in Pakistan to send you an email like that, but you'd be surprise how many women even abroad would do the same and their exposure to the outside word would be their living room and Pakistani fashion magazines even though they were born and raised here.
Coco, I think this is a bit of a generalization. You’ll be surprised how many Pakistani women landing at Pearson International are a heck of a lot more western and advanced than girls born and raised in the West.
On the flip side, there are plenty of girls like the ones you have described who are born and raised in the west.
I pretty much agree with what Roman has said though. :k:
Hey, it's about helping out a bro, and in the process making him comfortable to interact with as many chicks as possible before he settles on a "right" one.
I think your just being a little to optomistic..
how do you know she isnt dissapointed in you the same way?
your email doenst have to
a. nine yards long
b. annouced on GS b4 sending it.
I think your friend obviously saw soemthing nice in both the girl and you.. so thought why not!...
If you dont want to be set up anymore
a. tell you friend
b. find someone on you own..
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ~MuNiYa~: *
I think your just being a little to optomistic..
how do you know she isnt dissapointed in you the same way?
your email doenst have to
a. nine yards long
b. annouced on GS b4 sending it.
I think your friend obviously saw soemthing nice in both the girl and you.. so thought why not!...
If you dont want to be set up anymore
a. tell you friend
b. find someone on you own..
option options!!!
[/QUOTE]
Men or should I say gentlemen like Boss feel the need to explain for the woman. Even though he doesn't have to but he owes it to her. For her peace of mind and sanity otherwise she'll start assuming. Boss did not announce it on GS. Like you or anyone else, he shared a part of his life. You shouldn't pick on anyone for 'announcing' on GS when you're guilty of it yourself.
