Another random thread. My best friend is Arab. She is super sweet, very religious but at the same time very outgoing. She’s not one of those girls who wear hijab with tight clothes. She is a proper muslim. She has a bachelors in Medical and Health Physics from a well known University. She is 28 and very pretty. She was in nikah once for a few months but it ended really bad so she is a little untrusting now.
My hubby’s friend is an MBA student in Karachi, also 28. Has 2 brothers, older is a dentist and married, younger in school. Family owns a business. They are well educated people. From what I know of him he’s very outgoing and laid back.
My friend has been completely depressed. Everyone from our circle is engaged/married except for her. Her rishta process was horrid and when she finally met a guy she liked (arranged) it did not end well. He had some serious anger issues. Now she keeps telling me that she has come to terms with the fact that she will never marry. I was telling my husband this and he started insisting that I introduce her to his friend. She’s in Canada and he’s in Pakistan. I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I’ve heard so many horrible stories about guys marrying for immigration (not all of course) and families back home acting all possessive and evil. She belongs to a laid back non-interfering family. Do you guys think it’s a recipe for a disaster?
Re: Introducing my Arab friend to husband's Pakistani friend
^ Does your husband know for a FACT that his friend and the friend's family is open to the idea of a bahu who's Arab and has been married before? Have you or your husband ever met the guy's family?
Re: Introducing my Arab friend to husband's Pakistani friend
One thing to consider is that you're husband will be blamed if major issues occur after marriage (if they actually marry). For example, he turns out to be a nutcase.
Otherwise, I can't see any issues in putting the two in contact?
Although, her being Arab might cause cultural issues which naturally are to be considered. Personally, why doesnt she try finding someone from Canada? Why go so out of field to Pakistan?
Re: Introducing my Arab friend to husband's Pakistani friend
Tell your husband to find someone in Canada. Both of you can introduce her to someone, leave the final decision to your friend. Both of you can act as a support group and not as a match maker.
Re: Introducing my Arab friend to husband's Pakistani friend
I have never met his family. He's my husband's best friend so they practically grew up together. I don't really know any eligible bachelors. Everyone I work with is old and married with kids or grandkids. My husband isn't here yet, so he hasn't developed a network yet. All our guy friends from school are younger than her (she had to repeat a grade because of ECL or some such thing), and most have gfs or are engaged/married. If she was Pakistani my mom/aunts could have helped out. I really don't know any Arab people.
My husband said his friend is interested in her. He keeps insisting but as CEO mentioned, there may be serious cultural issues. Even I had some serious issues adjusting to my husband's family and I was born in Pakistan. I told my husband this but he keeps insisting that such issues are superficial and usually go away on their own.
Re: Introducing my Arab friend to husband’s Pakistani friend
^ So you husband has never met your Arab friend in person? He doesn’t know her personality at all? Yet he insists that she’ll be a “good match” for his best friend living in Pakistan?
Re: Introducing my Arab friend to husband's Pakistani friend
I think there is a real worry about culture clash here?
**I'm sure there are enough Arab/Muslim men in Canada that she could potentially meet? No?
**Thats what I'd do anyway.
Yep there are, also there a lot of Pakistanis in Canada as well if she so chooses to. But the Arabs I know (one of my friends is) REFUSE to marry anyone that isn't Arab and their families don't like it either. Will her family accept this?
Re: Introducing my Arab friend to husband’s Pakistani friend
Maybe she’s religious and he aint? :halo:
Seriously though How long has it been since ur friends divorce? If it’s too soon I’d advise on letting her heal and getting her confidence back rather than thrusting her into another relationship which sounds like a “he’s single she’s single so they’ll be a good match” more than actually knowing either party very well. your hubbys knowing her, you knowing the guy
Getting two ppl married is a good deed but don’t do it blindly. If she is untrusting why make her life more difficult with a guy from Pakistan whose true intentions she will never be certain of even if he’s the most genuine guy on earth ?
Personally she sounds depressed which is understandable let her overcome some of this so she’s mentally open,willing and accepting of the next person in her life. Once bitten twice shy right? Focus on what she may need rather than what society/ppl thinks she needs.
Re: Introducing my Arab friend to husband's Pakistani friend
You should avoid this at all cost! The arab girl and the dude from Karachi have never met each other, therefore they can't EVER know that they'll be a good match and Pakistani dudes are seriously messed up so I would just say keep quiet and let the erbi girl find a habibi here somewhere.
Re: Introducing my Arab friend to husband's Pakistani friend
Well, I met my husband through family. My khala knew his mom's friend so that's how it all started. I did talk to her yesterday and told her the truth. She refused because she does not want to marry out of her culture. The thing is, she was only married for a little over 2 months, and that too only in nikah. She never lived with her husband. It has been over a year since that ended. I can't help but meddle because whenever we all get together husbands and fiancés naturally come up and she always says the same things; "I have come to terms with the fact that I will never marry" or "I will never be able to go out on double/triple dates with you guys". She is depressed because she is not going out and meeting guys. Whatever guys her family presented always turned out to be a**es. During the rishta process they took her email to give to one guy and the guy never emailed her. Then they told her he wasn't interested. He had never even met her but she still thinks it was probably after he saw her photo. Then another guy told her on her face that she wasn't educated enough for him even though she has a bachelors. Then the guy she married had serious mental and anger problems. She is now 28 and I guess their culture is a lot like ours where as the girl grows older it's hard to find decent guys. I wish there was a way to help her out with this.
Re: Introducing my Arab friend to husband's Pakistani friend
I did talk to her yesterday and told her the truth. She refused because she does not want to marry out of her culture.
Looks like you have your answer. Even with being depressed regarding her single status, she still doesn't want to marry outside her culture. So no reason for you wonder anymore if you should introduce her to any non-Arab guys.
Re: Introducing my Arab friend to husband's Pakistani friend
Let the issue go. She has already mentioned she would prefer someone within her culture.
From personal experience, Arabs and Desi's marrying one another is a tough call. Would never , ever encourage that combination. Just my thoughts!
