Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
One can convey her point of view in a polite manner too , but I have seen women get emotional in a sec .
Watch this . http://www.paklinks.com/gs/video-gallery/409297-lo-kar-lo-gal.html
Its not like Desi people oppose opinionated Desi Girls. You just have to know when to speak up and say your point of view. There may be many people in the crowd or gathering that are much older than you. When I am in a gathering with my elders I do not speak up or oppose their opinion because they are older than me. You just have to listen to them properly and tell them your story in a way that makes them feel that you are not challenging them.
You will be very successful in life . Inshallah. One because are so wise and two because you have a plan. :D
people like women to be " allah mian ki gaye / cow " esp if the woman happens to be wife or bahu
On the other extreme, some opinionated girls want docile pets as husbands.
Its not like Desi people oppose opinionated Desi Girls. You just have to know when to speak up and say your point of view. There may be many people in the crowd or gathering that are much older than you. When I am in a gathering with my elders I do not speak up or oppose their opinion because they are older than me. You just have to listen to them properly and tell them your story in a way that makes them feel that you are not challenging them.
Oh but they do. They don't want you to have an opinion in front of them so essentially they don't want you to be that way.
You have said it yourself 'make them feel that you are not challenging them'. Why is this preferred over being straightforward? This aspect of desi culture really gets on my nerves.
I have always been able to speak my mind with my parents and most of my uncles and aunts (outside of Pakistan). In fact as I came into adulthood they actively sought it. This aspect of my personality caused no end of problems with my in-laws before I was married who didn't even like that 'children' should speak unless asked a question let along voice an opinion.
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
^ Exactly. I don't know why they are denying it, it happens in every family. I am sure every desi woman can relate to this. They have to think not twice but 100 times before they decide to speak up.
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
Here we go again.
A person is known by the company that person keeps. Some people here have tendency to find bad people around them all the time..
Having opinion is one thing and showing it at the wrong time and place and in wrong manner is another.
The poster who posted about confronting her husband is an example of what not to do. Same with men/husbands. Both should not argue in front of guests.
This freedom of expression and opinion should not be taken too far that it brings negative image of family to outsiders.
Some women take this notion “I am a woman hear me roar” too seriously!
Did you ever see TLK and Niki really arguing? Smart couple. 
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
i love opinionated girls. I hate those girls who live their life on the instructions of their hubbies .. .. However, One thing should be there and that is respect for each other. If those opinions are not reason for dis-respect then i guess it should be there.
Normally, desi like to have partner who walks behind 'em in the path of life. I hate that. I like someone who walks besides me ... and for that she must have opinions :)
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
Opinionated does not equal argumentative. I think some posters don't realise the difference.
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
Miss Nolan and others i know how you ladies feel. I am a generally quiet person but I have my own opinion about things. Sadly, I have been through situations where after a social gathering my mom is like you need to just be quiet even if you dont agree with people. Do I agree with it? no! I am not cursing someone out just expressing my opinion.Sadly, now I just sit there and zone people out...think happy thoughts lol :)
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
just look up the word ‘opinionated’ in a dictionary, doesn’t matter what our personal definition of the word is, the actual literal meaning has quite a negative connotation. heres what I found
opinionated - definition of opinionated by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.
“holding obstinately and unreasonably to one’s own opinions; dogmatic”
Synonyms:adamant, arbitrary, assertive, biased, bigoted, bossy, bullheaded, cocksure, cocky*, conceited, dictatorial, doctrinaire, dogmatic, hard-line, high-handed, inflexible, intransigent, locked in, obdurate, obstinate, one-sided, oracular, overbearing, pigheaded, positive, pragmatic, pragmatical, prejudiced, self-assertive, set in stone, set-on, single-minded, stubborn, tilted, uncompromising, unyielding, weighted
ya not a very attractive quality to have whether a boy or a girl.
.
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
I feel there is major misconception these days that the more one argues the more intelligent they sound, see a lot of that happening these days whether it be online forums or social gatherings. having an opinion is one thing but no one's really listening to each other, just interested in listening to the sound of their own voice.
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
**"holding obstinately and unreasonably to one's own opinions; dogmatic"
**again, this isn't even the problem forget holding obstinately, most older generation desi's don't think girls should have an opinion, just go around like silent little robots.
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
^ Some married guys from current generation secretly share the same desire.
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
I gave an opinion and that got me out of a rishta. :@:
I gave an opinion and that got me out of a rishta. :@:
Please share :D
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
Noland honey if you think you have some gift then you got to carry it with grace.
Stop bumping it ppl with that.
Like if you have extra stuff on your bike you will make more room to move.
Having different opinion could sign of healthy mind, I personally know women in pakistan who very greacefully change how their family thinks. They take family from being traditional to being positively objective.
Which reflects on every thing starting from hygiene to food-choices to choosing schools for kids etc etc.
Its not like Desi people oppose opinionated Desi Girls. You just have to know when to speak up and say your point of view. There may be many people in the crowd or gathering that are much older than you. When I am in a gathering with my elders I do not speak up or oppose their opinion because they are older than me. You just have to listen to them properly and tell them your story in a way that makes them feel that you are not challenging them.
and then they say women are so chalak ... they SHOULD be chalak if this is what they have to deal with.
a man is like a stone-age hunter. he needs food. he needs someone to dominate. he needs the spear in his hand. and he needs someone to be on duty 24/7 while he relaxes his BUT. such a simple creature with some muscle.
soooooo .. a woman HAS to be a bit ahead of it all and fool the man into thinking that he has all that, WHILE it is she in fact who has the control all along :D
Re: Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture
It's great to have an opinion but the key is to share it at the right time and place.
It's great to have an opinion but the key is to share it at the right time and place.
wonderful said