So, I live in a major metropolitan city, where in most areas of the city no one even looks at me and the mister (caucasian) when we are out.
We went to an area that tends to be very desi and we got honked at!!! Like 4 or 5 times! I am so proud of my city’s diversity and this just pissed me off! My first experience of anything like that. Mostly I think it was brown people.
Mister and I have decided that until we go official, we would at least avoid desi areas. We are already discussing how families are going to take this. Both our immediate families have shown willingness for acceptance but extended families will not find it easy to accept. And now this realization that random morons would judge/harass us too is dawning on me.
Does this mean we should not think about moving to smaller cities, ever? His career might require him to go to smaller cities!
Interracial couples here, are things like that to be expected?
What will you do if you are walking on your own and get honked the same way? If i was living at a place like that, I would move away from there even if im not in an inter-racial relationship.
So, I live in a major metropolitan city, where in most areas of the city no one even looks at me and the mister (caucasian) when we are out.
We went to an area that tends to be very desi and we got honked at!!! Like 4 or 5 times! I am so proud of my city's diversity and this just pissed me off! My first experience of anything like that. Mostly I think it was brown people.
Mister and I have decided that until we go official, we would at least avoid desi areas. We are already discussing how families are going to take this. Both our immediate families have shown willingness for acceptance but extended families will not find it easy to accept. And now this realization that random morons would judge/harass us too is dawning on me.
Does this mean we should not think about moving to smaller cities, ever? His career might require him to go to smaller cities!
Interracial couples here, are things like that to be expected?
It depends where you live. Small city in UK would be fine..maybe not in the US. Just what i've heard. You can still go to small cities but just know your surroundings-population of open-minded/closed minded desis/whites etc
I mean you two could be friends, why do people assume and honk? In any case honking should not happen. Don't let it faze you.
Unless you see the extended family on a daily basis and are very close to them i wouldn't worry too much about their opinion. If you're parents accept that's the main thing.
You can do a little social experiment. Make him wear a white namaz cap , I hope he is muslim otherwise how can you marry him, and go in to the same area again . See if you still those honks or not .
As we all jump to conclusion and consider caucasian = christian , which might have triggered that reaction .
People jump to conclusions too easily. He could very well have caucasian looks and be from the same areas as the Kalash people who have blonde hair, light eyes and fair complexion. Next time get him to wear the Nawaz cap and a Pakistani cricket t-shirt. Then no one can doubt his patriotism. :)
I am thinking about how extended family may avoid me out of discomfort. But if I decide he is the guy, I of course wont let their discomfort mess this up.
I unfortunately am the kind of person who likes extended family get-togethers and hearing about family stories etc. I wouldn't want that to disappear from my life.
As for random people, it is upsetting because I feel insulted by it.
I am thinking about how extended family may avoid me out of discomfort. But if I decide he is the guy, I of course wont let their discomfort mess this up.
I unfortunately am the kind of person who likes extended family get-togethers and hearing about family stories etc. I wouldn't want that to disappear from my life.
As for random people, it is upsetting because I feel insulted by it.
The choice is hard but nothing in life worth having is easy to have.
Random people should not bother you. You should be secure in your choice.
The sad reality is that things like this will happen now and in the future if you do decide to marry him. I'm not deterring you from your relationship but just being honest. There are still places in the world where marrying out of religion/race/caste is a big NO NO. So you guys will get the odd stare, or maybe even comment if the person is rude enough. My auntie married a caucasian back in the 80's and back then it was a huge deal. She lost a lot of family members and got a lot of criticism and hate. They have 2 kids and are still going strong. You need to develop a thick skin in cases like this. If you are serious about him, honking strangers wouldn't really be my worry, I think when you have to fight for him against your family and relatives - that's what will really test your relationship.
You guys will also have bi-racial kids in the future if you decide to marry him, so you need to get comfortable with this now and learn to ignore the haters.
The honking is very bizzare. Unless a pedestrian is in direct danger, no-one should honk at walking pedestrians minding their own business. I'd suggest do not move. This is just one incident, you cant let it phase you otherwise what will you do the next time someone honks at you or makes s
a remark? move again? Be strong and stay strong. Such a relationship is not unusual. If a sikh woman can get married to a black man then so can you and your partner. Also, desi's are naturally really nosy and judgemental, ignore them. As long as you, your partner and both your families are happy who gives a damn.
… I understand some people don’t like/ approve of interracial/ inter-faith relationships… But I have honestly never heard of anyone honking at stranger this just seems beyond strange!
But, who cares if they did, if it was because your sig other being non-desi or not. Why does it matter?
i have never had people honking but I do get weird looks all the time from some desi people when I am with my husband in a place where theres alot of desis, like pakistani restaurants or stores. I guess they are just not accustomed to seeing interracial couples, especially a Pakistani/desi girl with a white or non-desi guy. but really, i have never felt bothered by them. who cares? at the end of the day, if you're happy with your boyfriend/husband, what difference does it make what others think? people always judge couples not just when hey are interracial but many other reasons too when its none of their business. if you actually start caring about what everyone thinks, you will drive yourself crazy.
this just seems beyond strange!