Alright so check this… I’ve been meeting the western girl A for quite a bit now. She seems interesting. Met her couple of times now. Went to eat, movies etc. But she still doesn’t seem interested, our calls and texts are very succinct. I’ve asked her if she’s ready for shaadi and stuff and she goes depends on me. I’ve told her I can’t make a decision if i dont know what the other party is thinking. The other day I was asking about her view points on shaadi and she said, “It’s surreal” she didn’t seem excited. I think she maybe under the pressure of her family to agree to this rishta. How can I pry more information in this case?
Re: Interactions of the 3rd kind
I thought this post was about aliens or jinn.
Anyway, she doesn't sound too interested. Just ask her directly if she's happy/excited or not and if she's under pressure from her family to accept the rishta. Why do you have to pry info? Ask directly, it's an important life decision.
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I thought this post was about aliens or jinn.
Anyway, she doesn't sound too interested. Just ask her directly if she's happy/excited or not and if she's under pressure from her family to accept the rishta. Why do you have to pry info? Ask directly, it's an important life decision.
I did ask her, she says that she's ready. But something deep down tells me that she's agreeing upon it because her family is pressurizing her. Why are women so complicated?
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Ask her what if shadi doesnt happen fr her abhi at this point in time to will it break her heart or shed be ok with it?
where does she see herself is 3 years & in 10 years?
what does she think of shadi as a concept?
to maintain a marriage is love required?
You can be a bit direct and also ask, "do u want us to work because u have put time & energy into us and u dont wana start with someone else drom square one or is there genuinely feelings here from your end?"
etc etc
The more indirect questions u ask her, shell blurt out the truth someway or the other. Dont be scared to ask till ur hearts content..
Listen very carefully & make mental notes
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If she says she's ready for this, then she's ready. You're the one complicating the situation, not her. You can't expect her to be extremely ecstatic and jumping up and down with excitement when it's an arranged rishta and she doesn't know you well and isn't in love with you yet. Give her time, let her get to know you and she will soon be excited about getting married
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May be she is confused like you are. You talked to this other girl for 1 year & still can't make a decision then how can you expect from this girl to make a decision this big so quickly. Give her some time too then.
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I liked the other girl ;)
What happened to her?
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I liked the other girl ;) What happened to her?
Which other girl?
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Dude, I was in a relationship with my husband for over 6-7 years before I said YES to his proposal. I knew I would marry him but the word MARRIAGE made me nauseous. I wasn't commitment-phobic, I just didn't see marriage as something wonderful. She may feel the same way. The idea of marriage may not be wonderful to her but she may just be ready. She knows she has to get married some day and she seems to like you. I just think she is afraid of the changes it will bring in her life. I was this way too. Marriage is a LOT of work. I still don't think marital life is amazing or anything but I love my husband and his company.
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Not in a million years would I have married a girl who was not totally excited about marrying me. Just walk away, either this or a miserable life for ever.
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Not in a million years would I have married a girl who was not totally excited about marrying me. Just walk away, either this or a miserable life for ever.
I get that but not every girl will blush or jump up and down when proposed. A happily accepted proposal doesn't guarantee a good life and one turned down multiple times doesn't guarantee a miserable life. I was absolutely sure about my husband but marriage used to scare me because I grew up seeing too many miserable couples around me including my parents. I married him after 6.5 years of dating. We are doing better than ever!
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I get that but not every girl will blush or jump up and down when proposed. A happily accepted proposal doesn't guarantee a good life and one turned down multiple times doesn't guarantee a miserable life. I was absolutely sure about my husband but marriage used to scare me because I grew up seeing too many miserable couples around me including my parents. I married him after 6.5 years of dating. We are doing better than ever!
I see many boring couples with good lives, I couldnt live that life. I didnt want a good life, I wanted a great life where you pinch yourself to make sure you are not dreaming.
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It's an arranged marriage not a Bollywood film. You have to be super into that sort of thing to find an arranged marriage exciting or something to look forward to. Marrying a stranger is not something most girls want. Have your parents exchanged anything to make the relationship concrete. If not then I would also keep the thought in your mind that she might say no and back out because it's not just your call. Talk about your own experiences about how you think these kind of mating games are weird as hell and gather information from her answers.
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Dude, I was in a relationship with my husband for over 6-7 years before I said YES to his proposal. I knew I would marry him but the word MARRIAGE made me nauseous. I wasn't commitment-phobic, I just didn't see marriage as something wonderful. She may feel the same way. The idea of marriage may not be wonderful to her but she may just be ready. She knows she has to get married some day and she seems to like you. I just think she is afraid of the changes it will bring in her life. I was this way too. Marriage is a LOT of work. I still don't think marital life is amazing or anything but I love my husband and his company.
You always give the best answers theory! You're like the Big Bang Theory! You're alright!
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It's an arranged marriage not a Bollywood film. You have to be super into that sort of thing to find an arranged marriage exciting or something to look forward to. Marrying a stranger is not something most girls want. Have your parents exchanged anything to make the relationship concrete. If not then I would also keep the thought in your mind that she might say no and back out because it's not just your call. Talk about your own experiences about how you think these kind of mating games are weird as hell and gather information from her answers.
The thing is that the Girl A From south africa is super excited to get married. She is already making plans for what we'll wear at our Nikkah. She's very beautiful, she's not some nerd who wants to just get married because no one will want her. Her excitement comes from actually being married. But the western girl SHOWS 0 interest. Instead she says that she's nervous and that it's a big decision. I told her you wouldn't feel this way if i were a doctor would you? ( I didn't say that actually, I was thinking about that).
But you now do you understand my confusion? It's like Western Girl has all the qualities I want in a woman but her attitude SUCKS A$$. Like she's so reserved and haughty. She's as if she thinks she's Princess of akraba or something. While the south african homely girl has these qualities too she's humble, but bit of a language barrier. I wish women would just be more understanding. I'm not sure why Western girl is so reluctant to get married? She texts me when she feels like it. When we met we talked for a good Hour straight. We were in a restaurant, she was laughing. Enjoying. But then again she never shows the same enthusiasm in texts. In texts she's like "MEH"...
Re: Interactions of the 3rd kind
The thing is that the Girl A From south africa is super excited to get married. She is already making plans for what we'll wear at our Nikkah. She's very beautiful, she's not some nerd who wants to just get married because no one will want her. Her excitement comes from actually being married. But the western girl SHOWS 0 interest. Instead she says that she's nervous and that it's a big decision. I told her you wouldn't feel this way if i were a doctor would you? ( I didn't say that actually, I was thinking about that).
But you now do you understand my confusion? It's like Western Girl has all the qualities I want in a woman but her attitude SUCKS A$$. Like she's so reserved and haughty. She's as if she thinks she's Princess of akraba or something. While the south african homely girl has these qualities too she's humble, but bit of a language barrier. I wish women would just be more understanding. I'm not sure why Western girl is so reluctant to get married? She texts me when she feels like it. When we met we talked for a good Hour straight. We were in a restaurant, she was laughing. Enjoying. But then again she never shows the same enthusiasm in texts. In texts she's like "MEH"...
Please as if your attitude isn't princessy as well. The other girl was an anomaly not a rule. This one's flat out telling you she's nervous and all you're thinking about is how you want to be pampered. I would totally back away from such self absorption. Not everyone texts like a pro or gets the message across easily in words. She isn't complicated at all. Only because you aren't getting that level of attention that you're twisting them to suit your own ego.
In desi land no rings means no relationship. She is still considering you and she has the right to be cautious. You could potentially piss all over her plans and goals and her entire life all in one go. How do you even know you're the only rishta she's considering?
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Not all girls are in love with the idea of getting married. I wasn't. I would have gladly live in sin with my now husband if our society allowed it. I don't care for the wedding hoopla and all of that and when we decided to get married (it was a love marriage) it was our parents that basically pushed us into a date.
There are some women who don't buy into that whole fairy tale of a wedding, maybe she's one of them. Maybe she just doesn't sound enthusiastic over text? Maybe, she's as StrangeOne says, cautious? If she said she wants to marry you, then take it for what it is.
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I hope that you have told desi girl that you are looking at other rishtas and are meeting another girl that you are interested in. It seems from your post your more Intrested in the western girl. If the desi girl is planning your wedding then it does seem you are leading her on, what exactly are you looking for?
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^^ ditto!
Stop playing with the poor girl.
