I was just wondering, how many guppies who are married fall into this category?. What kind of problems/issues do they face? How do you overcome some of the stressers caused by this unique relationship.
I do ..I do. It is awesome, When we have thanksgiving we have turkey, mashed potatoes, tandoori chicken, aaloo palak, pumpkin pie, and Gulab Jamun.
WE celebrate diwali with much aplomb and come december lookforward to midnight mass with family and friends.
The kid is learning hindi and english. All of us, including parents and inlaws go to India togther and also travel to Europe. My niece send a rakhi although she is 100% caucasian to his cousin. H ebought her a hat for easter this year. It is friggin fantastic.
Matty, that is awesome. This is how it should be.
I think it can only happen when there are open minds and arms. It is not about one party giving up something. It is about 1+1=3. The old synergiestic mantra that will prove the NBC Universal merger a model. :)
i know someone is going to say i am not married so why am i giving my two cents in this topic - but wtf. i think it's inexpressibly wonderful to have an interracial marriage. The benefits far outweigh any possible hypothetical negatives. Best of all, at least from my perspective, you get to raise your child(ren) in an environment in which they are exposed to not just one set of culture/value systems/beliefs, but another one as well. How cool is that - it opens the kid's mind right from her/his birth, into a broader awareness that the "world" is made up of more than just Amma/Abbu's beliefs. i'll give you a few personal examples - when my middle sister gets married, it will be an inter-racial marriage. The process of getting to know another non-desi culture, has been an eye-opening experience for me (i can't wait for the fundos to jump on this one). i know one family in Islamabad - mother is Pakistani, father is Irish. They have two kids about 6-7 years old. They are the coolest damn kids IMO because the family speaks Gaelic, English and Urdu - for summer time, the kids alternate between spending time with their Nana/Nani in Islamabad and their Dada/Dadi in Ireland. Now how damn cool is that. When the kids grow up, imagine hypothetically how much they have been exposed to a world that is not restricted to one set of culture/beliefs/values etc.
i think it's wonderful to have inter-racial marriages.
Kaleem bhai, taking a step back and looking at it from a really broad minded perspective, I feel that any two individuals will be different. Even my brothers and I who've been raised in the same household have thinking that's worlds apart in many many issues.
At the end of the day its not about ANYTHING - be it faith, culture, ethnicity, age...whatever have you...
We let prejudices cloud our thoughts and thats when problems start to happen I think. I think if we just look at the other person as a human being with feelings and emotions just like us, it will be OK. Its solely about the two individuals and their commitment to each other and whether they care about each other's feelings and want to be with each other or not.
Honestly who gives a ****. You happy. Your wife happy. That is all that matters. Inter-racial marriage are seen as such a big thing because people are superficial and racist. They cant see beyond the skin or in this case religion culture or what not.
It aint special. It is just an educated man and woman looking beyond the stereotypes of society. That is a desi society is hard to do so it must be commended. But hell it aint heavenly. Nor is it perfect.
It is a normal marriage between a man and woman which defies the constructs established by society.
So true..
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by CM: *
Honestly who gives a ***. You happy. Your wife happy. That is all that matters. Inter-racial marriage are seen as such a big thing because people are superficial and racist. They cant see beyond the skin or in this case religion culture or what not.
It is a normal marriage between a man and woman which defies the constructs established by society.
[/QUOTE]
My uncle's married with an american christian and has two cute daughters aged 12/14. Their daughters go to church and are learning Islam. They often visit Pakistan and are Mashaallah very happy together.
I know a close friend whose parents had inter-faith love marriage(Muslim man w/ hindu woman). He told me that he finds it hard to choose a religion for himself because he doesn't want either of his parent to feel bad. He neither knows how to offer namaz nor knows how to do pooja. Poor guy.
Another marriage I know is of a black American Muslim convert woman and an arab Muslim man. When she told me about it, I was like "woww, life must be interesting" and she replied "yes but it's difficult!". She told me that she and her husband sometimes find it hard to express their feelings to each other(language prob) and there is some cultural difference too which cause misunderstandings.
Other than the above I know a lot of marriages between Pakistani American and white American in my khandan and they're all working out well. :)
Most problems that iv'e heard from friends or other sisters is that their husbands find it hard to adjust or eat food from a different culture.. you'd think it's not a problem, but apparently it is. But thats only a few cases, majority of people are happy.. i guess.
Anways inter-racial marriage is encouraged in islam.
i dunno.. id stick with my own.. for no other reason apart from being comfortable with my own type of folk.
I couldnt do inter-racial with a non-muslim.. just couldnt.
wouldnt be right, wouldnt feel right..
im broadminded as the next person and i promote humanity and love and patience and understanding between HUMANS.. but I dont think you need to marry someone out of your cast/religion/raciality to prove this.
I think if you marry non-muslims its your duty to convert them??? otherwise its not acceptable. no?
Dekho, don't flaunt or cover-up. We all know very well that goriyaaN beat up worse than desans. We know about the broken bones and aching muscles so drop it already.
S.H.O.C.K.E.D
hmmm... I don't think she knows what that stands for, fungi. Wanna bet?
I think she does.
Are you a cheap better? (is that a word?)
But first, let's get the 'elders' out of the room. :D
Kids from mix marriages wouldn’t turn out open minded they’d turn out confused and feel they don’t belong anywhere, those of us who have a ‘culture’ of our own take it for granted that we have one culture to call our own, two just doesn’t work, it’s a horrible feeling, horrible to not have a culture which is your own and you can be proud of… :(
With religion it’s even harder, well I suppose if it’s something like Sikhism and Catholicism which are different but don’t have conflicting teachings then it can work and the only problem being that of identity but our religion with say Sikhism (jhatka-zabiha issue being just one) or any other religion just doesn’t work, God clearly says that Islam is the only way, this causes confusion in the child.
There was a programme on radio by Sonia Deol, a girl came on whose mother was a Muslim and the father a Sikh, her parents had split up by now and her mother had taught her about Islam and how she had made a mistake marrying a Kafir, as a child half the week she was with her paternal family and the rest with her maternal, she was taught about both religions and she was left totally confused…
…In the end she had the sense to obviously choose the better of the two Islam but now she doesn’t want to hurt her father so she keeps it secret.
I know a couple, their son is a friend at school, the guys dad is a Muslim and the mum is a Hindu, when they married each other the father was young and didn’t think about the future of his kids, but now he seems to be getting more into Islam, my teacher was talking to someone the other day about how he feels uncomfortable with his daughters wearing skirts and pants, poor guy I feel sorry for him he made a mistake and now he’s got problems. I’m working on his son to try and influence him to Islam.
yep, spreading one's genes can only be a good thing. Plus, nowadays races are not defined by boundaries anymore so why sideline yourself as a minority.
Being the mulla that I am, I hold the strong belief that either partner should convert to Islam before marriage.
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It's fabulous, in my case, i can curse openly in Punjabi and no one knows WTF (borrowing from Nadia mit gratis) I am saying. By now my boys have figured out the major ones, but I still have a lot of secret curses that no one knows (even sometimes I get confused). Boys are learning Greek and Punjabi.