Insanely Jealous

The person was part of her past. She might be searching for him out of curiosity. That does not mean that she is going to send him a friend's request even if she finds him.

Re: Insanely Jealous

^Agree with that. She is just curious. Probably wants to see the b!t@# he be dating now. LOL!

Re: Insanely Jealous

She is just looking him up, doesn’t mean she wants to get back together with him. Sometimes people get nostalgic and just leave it at that. Highly doubt the two will rekindle anything. And you being jealous of her versus she being jealous of you is a can of worm that is best left unopened. I Google old crushes. The one that got away isn’t the one who stays AWAY… Instead he is living it up with a his or her fabulous spouse and kids. :diljala: emoti kahan hai?!?

Re: Insanely Jealous

divorce the wrench.

:rolleyes:

She’s just curious. Nothing more.
Have some confidence in yourself and your relationship.

And don’t tell her you sneaked around her account; your jealously is your saza for doing so. Abb jalo.

Re: Insanely Jealous

At the risk of messing up OP's head some more, who really knows how far she will go. He doesn't trust her enough to ignore it, and unless they talk it out, he will continue to assume the worst of her.

Re: Insanely Jealous

^^ I love your nick :wub:
:hehe:

At the risk of messing up OP’s head some more, who really knows how far she will go. He doesn’t trust her enough to ignore it, and unless they talk it out, he will continue to assume the worst of her.
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We can see both negative and positive sides. It’s a choice. I picked the positive side.

Jealousy is a disease bro

Re: Insanely Jealous

hmmm would most women be okay if they found out by snooping (after being married a number of years) that their husband was doing this? I don't think so. But with the responses I see here it's made to feel like "oh, no big deal". And I think that comes off as somewhat of a double standard. It's one thing to be curious, and wanna know about someone you were close to at one point.; but to be doing it 3-4 times a week (as OP has said his wife is doing) , it's borderline stalking. If it was a one or two off, I would agree, no big deal. But if it's a pattern then that's troubling.

But to the OP, you're in a bit of a quandary aren't you? Cause you'll get crap for snooping, or you live with the doubt.

It's best to let go. I guess it all depends on the level of trust you have in her.

Re: Insanely Jealous

.

Re: Insanely Jealous

^Agree with Slimy. Reverse the situation and the husband who is checking up on his wife would receive a lot of flak from readers.

Though I doubt if OP will be able to let it go. At this stage, I wouldn't be surprised if he will be sucked into checking her profile again and again. Another thought that comes to mind is that if he only lets her know that he's still bothered by her premarital affair, what if she responds with, "Oh I don't think about him anymore, I've moved on".....he will then think to himself that she's lying as he knows she's checked up on him a few times on FB....which would fuel the tension, no? So, if he decides to "let it go," then he should let it go completely. If he wants to discuss it with her, then I am of the opinion that it should be a thorough discussion. She may get upset that he viewed her FB profile, but she'll also have to put herself in his shoes and realize that what she's doing is wrong and she, too, would be hurt if the tables were reversed. Even if she is merely "curious," she needs to quit. Why place yourself in a situation that shaitan will pounce upon? No, seriously. Even if she checked up on her ex because she wants him to suffer or feed her ego at seeing him not at his best, these feelings are not healthy...they're from the shaitan because he wants to divert your mind and heart to things that are not spiritually beneficial for you and that could quite possibly become an addiction where things don't end with just one click on a profile.

Re: Insanely Jealous

honestly, if my husband was searching up weird people from his past...i would not think it's ok

soo...all the women here are just pretending, i think.

Re: Insanely Jealous

It is a part of the male make up as well. If it weren't the Op wouldn't be bothered. Men are said to be territorial...a word more associated with males. But in general both genders are possessive and do get jealous.

Re: Insanely Jealous

possessive and jealous...are two diff things

Re: Insanely Jealous

Possessiveness can stem or result from jealousy.

Re: Insanely Jealous

I rephrase, girls can live with it. Guys can not.

Re: Insanely Jealous

Of course it goes both ways- I doubt I would be ok with my fiancé looking up his exes 3-4 times a week. And I doubt he would be ok with me doing that. The difference here is getting caught. In my head I can rationalize it as curiosity, satisfying my ego, etc. Would my fiancé be ok with that reasoning, nope.

Some of us are justifying it as curiosity because it most likely is just that simple. But it seems like the OP has issues with her previous relationship that it doesn't matter what we say- that doubt is going to be in his mind. I mean come on, they've been married for 11 years and he's still wondering about her 1 ex and filling in blanks... Why? Especially when he says they have a happy marriage. Why mention that maybe she deleted their messages? He's clearly been paranoid about this for some time.

OP, your solution is to talk to her once and for all. Don't talk to her in a manner to catch her. If you ask if she's looking up her ex, she might feel embarrassed and will lie, and maybe even stop- but you'll agonize over her lie. Tell her you went on her fb, saw her searches, and want to know why she would look him up. End your curiosity over this matter.

Re: Insanely Jealous

A tech question: how do you look into your search log on FB?

Re: Insanely Jealous

Auto form filling :?

Re: Insanely Jealous

Does it tell you how frequently someone has been searching for a specific person?