Re: inlaws choosing wedding dress 
Maybe it doesn’t make sense to you, or in today’s world, for today’s bride. But the tradition wasn’t established as some heartless attempt to take away the bride’s free will.
I do think that if inshAllah I have a son, I will let his bride choose her own clothes, and I do think that the best approach is to let the bride select the shadi outfit and the groom’s side choose the valima outfit. But that is for our generation to change. If you are in a situation where your inlaws want to give you a gift that is your bridal jora, accusing them of being “weird” is not the right approach.