inlaws choosing wedding dress :(

Paheli00 · February 15, 2012, 2:32pm

Re: inlaws choosing wedding dress

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yea but then isn’t the MIL acting like a child her self in this case. For desi girls their entire lives are spent according to other people’s choices, views and wishes. Surely they can have a say in their own wedding dress without being singled out as selfish.

So if the future DIL is a little assertive about the fact that she wants a particular dress for her wedding day, she is compromising her future with the IL’s, they won’t respect her , she might not be their fav bahu all based on the fact that she chose her own wedding dress ??? That’s really pushing it. Does it always have to be self sacrifice for us desi girls. The only thing constant is change. Traditions can be changed. Specially if it’s making the bride unhappy.

Clearly for the OP its a big thing. **At least they can ask for her input, take her along **?? Would that not be a very adult thing to do, to decide on a dress mutually? And if she is willing to pay that little extra, its not gonna look bad on the MIL. In fact the DIL will remember it for ever.

The MIL can concentrate on her son’s clothes, her own clothes that of her hubby’s or daughter’s for the wedding. Its not like she won’t be getting any chance to add her personal touches for the wedding ??

First let me say that I completely agree with everything you wrote. The MIL is acting like a child. The adult thing to do in this situation is to take the bride long and decide mutually. I agree that this is unfair and one-sided.

The issue here is not whether or not the MIL is acting like a child or whether or not this “tradition” is fair. In OPs case…unfortunately, that’s the situation and she can not do anything to change her MIL’s views on this. The decision has been made. The in-laws have told her that she will not be any input on the dress. They have made it clear that this is not up for “discussion”. Whether its fair or not…that’s the situation.

Given the situation…now the real “issue” is whether or not the dress is worth fighting for. Is the wedding dress worth having constant fights with the future husband and POTENTIALLY causing tension with the in-laws for years to come? Is wearing that dress for one day worth giving your in-laws reason to talk bad about you for years to come?

Part of being an adult is that we all have to pick and choose our battles. Every-single-day we make choices based on what’s important to us. This is no different. OP and other brides in her situation need to decide how important the wedding dress is to them and what they’re willing to give up in order to get their “dream dress”.