inlaws choosing wedding dress :(

[bigfatindianwedding]

Re: inlaws choosing wedding dress

@yanzala

awww…you know what the first time i had this talk with my husband and when he told me that i will have to wear what his sisters and bhabi chose for me i cried soooooo much. partially because i wasn’t gonna get a dress of my dream and partially because i was really really hurt the way my husband talked to me.
it’s not fun being adult and making the right decision. sometimes the child in me wishes that the dress they buy for me gets stolen…or ruined somehow that i don’t get to wear them. i wouldn’t mind wearing some extra heavy joora out of my jahaiz cloths but not something they are going to get…but at the end i will HAVE to wear what they will give me. and that hurts a lot…it’s my wedding. nothing EVER be like that day again. not even my mehndi or wedding anniversary or any other occasion for rest of my lift.
when i told my husband that if i don’t like the dress i will get really upset and i might even cry he got mad at me for being materialistic and said i am shallow for crying over dresses. and that hurt me even more. It has been so many months since i am trying to console my self. but it’s not working
i am not materialistic. Wedding dresses are just much bigger deal than everyone thinks it is

Okay, I don’t know if it’s just me or if any of you other ladies are feeling it, but it seems that Yanzala’s husband-to-be isn’t an understanding person.

Now, I do not expect your husband-to-be to go yelling at his parents to make them buy the outfit you want. But, it worries me that he doesn’t take your sadness and opinions seriously. He seems to be belittling your feelings and insulting you (shallow, materialistic) which is definitely not a good way to begin your married life.

You need to move past this wailing over the outfit and start talking about real things, like WHY IS YOUR HUSBAND NOT ACKNOWLEDGING YOUR FEELINGS?

You need to talk to him rationally:

1. I would suggest sitting down with him, on a relaxing evening (NOT right when he gets back from work).
2. Explain rationally that you are saddened that you will not have a choice in the wedding outfit because of X, Y, Z reasons.
3. Then, explain that you have to come to terms with the decision but that you would like his support with your feelings.
4. Explain that you understand hubby-to-be is a rock stuck in the middle of this situation and no solution is easy.
5. You understand this battle isn’t worth messing up your future relationship with your in-laws or each other.

I am really really worried about the interactions going on between you two. Hate to be harsh, but you both need to grow up and deal with this situation responsibly.