Re: inlaws choosing wedding dress 
Politely butting in on this but here’s another way to look at this:
I agree that to extended family and otusiders…the wedding is a “show”. But that’s b/c they’re just there for that day. It’s not their marriage. The way they act/behave at the wedding will not have any long-tern consequences on their own marriages. However, the bride and the groom should keep in mind that that wedding is leading to THEIR marriage. It’s not a temporarily show for them. And the way they behave towards each other’s families can have serious negative long-term consequences for them. Bride/Groom have to be accountable for their actions during their marriage to each other and to their families. The guests unfortunately don’t.
Just because the outsiders get caught up on all the show and forget the real reason they’re there…that doesn’t mean the bride(and groom) should.