Re: inlaws choosing wedding dress 
While I understand the frustration you and your friend felt…I believe the above is the wrong way to look at this situation.
I agree that no one will award you for being understanding and no one will mention that you were thoughtful. **BUT **if you choose to fight and make a huge deal out of this…your fiance/future husband, and his entire family WILL remember that. They will mention that their new bahu was selfish and didn’t want to respect her in-laws wishes. In the weeks, months, and maybe even years…they will remember that and might even continue to bring it upto their son (ie. your husband) which will cause him distress.
Do you really think you’re building a strong foundation for your marriage by having “countless fights” with your fiance right now about a walima dress?
Your case is very different from OPs in the sense that you’re getting to choose your shaadi jora. While I agree that the walima is also important…I think you need to ask yourself …what’s more important to you:
- Is it important that you yourself feel pretty on the walima day OR
- Is it important that the weeks/months/years AFTER the walima are stress and drama free for your marriage (ie. not giving your in-laws a chance to talk bad about you to your husband which will cause tension in your marriage).