i got engaged right before 8 months, i'm a very simple girl living in a very restricted atmosphere, not allowed to do anything on my own, to go any where all alone etc etc etc......................... but my inlaws lives abroad & r extremely modern, my sisters-in-law r so so mod & out going & bold & confident :(, & they r very educated, belongs to rich background, they r very independent too, & my fiancee compares me with his sisters, although its our love marriage but even then he keep saying u must look beautiful as my sisters do, look at their dressing clothes, they way they take their pics etc.........
after listening all this since 8 months i really got stress & frustrated, i got big inferiority complex, that i'm nothing, i dont know anything, be it clothes, fashion, makeup, education, english lang., style & soooooooooooo many things................ ,my wedding is after 5 months but now i have lost all of wedding excitement, now i just start wishing that wedding wont come so near, i start feeling distant frm my fiancee as he has got nothing except complaining & being embarred becuz of me....
i just dont know what to do... i asked my parents for letting me do diff short courses & gain my confidence & meet diff ppl & learn frm the, but they just totally refused it............ so i can't see any hope either...
plz can anyone help me out tht what should i do?? my health is also going down cuz of soo much stress everyday :(
thanks waiting for guidance
This is a cliché, but if they choose you, they should accept you, of course, you have to change a bit and so do they, you both have to adjust to each other, but when you were chosen, they knew it.
Don't let this get to you. Every human being has qualities which the other doesn't have. I'm sure there is something they value which you are very good at. I had the opposite problem, my cousin wanted me to be inside the house, I grew up restricted too, I was the only girl, so it was lonely, but it was still less worse than in my cousins house, my khala is worse than my mother and after marriage, I was even more restricted! Even in clothing, he wanted me stop wearing nice clothes, he wanted me to stop contact with most friends, only cooking was important, cook cook cook and my character didn't matter to him, he wanted to mould me into something else, I wasn't allowed to have my own oppinion, to make any decisions, etc. They didn't like me because I still had to learn to cook. My mother in law said I was ugly and a bad cook. My husband said I was only lovely looking and a bad cook, and my brains were dangerous according to him and worth nothing, etc. because I couldn't cook properly, etc I 've learnt to cook after a while, but then they find other things to make life difficult...
I think, if you once let this get to you, they will always do that. Even if you would become like them, they would find something else they don't like. That's my experience.
I think you should show them the things you are good at. Your future husband chose you (I assume) and he does have the right to ask you to change a little, and he should change a little as well, but you can't loose your character, yourself because of him! If you don't do bad things, like gossiping, stealing, etc and you have a fine character, he should respect you the way you are. Having a fine character is more valuable than being "modern"!