This question is more for girl but guys can share their thoughts as well…Who helped you become independent in your life or kind of helped you take that road? Father, mother, brother, husband, or no one but you made all efforts by yourself?
For me I think it was def. my dad followed by my brothers and rest of the family. My mother was/is more protective at many things. My dad strongly believes that girls should have strong career of their own they should be able to support themselves, and be able to make decisions for themselves. He also taught me that whatever decision I make, whatever the outcome is, I have to take the responsibly for my acts and the outcomes.
for e.g. I got my 1st job when I was 17 and yes whatever I earned was basically my pocket money. I had a separate account. And of course if I needed money, i would get it…actually without even asking for it but for the most part I did learned to somewhat budget myself. I think I got my first credit card when I was 19 and I was responsible to pay the bill. And yes for a long time they did think I was going to mess up my debit history so every month he’d ask me to write the check so he can mail the bill.
I think it is extremely important for women to get that sense of independence from their parents/family before getting married. If girls are too much dependent on their family even for making a small decisions, their husbands would expect the same behavior from them.
Thats totally awesome if you can have a wife who can pay bills :k:
I think for me it was myself and mostly living alone for quite sometime you learn a lot . Women should be independent and men these days are more into women who can make their own decisions . Who likes to be babysitter anyways .
I was totally totally dependant on my parents until when they passed away in my early teens, I learnt to cook and clean on my own but I was still financially dependant on others for a long time and after marriage I started working but left it coz of kids, so far I'm dependant on my husband for finances but recently I have refused to take any money from him, the only money I take from him is for the work I do for him(a small business and few things here and there), I feel I just don't wanna be that typical desi woman relying on her husband's money and wasting it. I plan to work again after getting higher education within 5 years time inshallah.
I just wanna do it to change the image of typical desi muslim women. And I don't wanna be a typical working woman either, I wanna be somebody.
my mom gave me the push and I did it all by myself!
My dad was very protective and pampered me all his life.. I started my bachelors at 16 and wanted to work in the lab but my dad said no.. it was just his way of showing love and that he could provide for us no matter what.. he used to give me pocket money that I would save n save n save and then buy something big for myself.. he passed away when I was 18 and my life changed upside down.. he passed away in APril and that summer was the first time I had to work at the dollar store to pay for my summer class.. I remember crying after a long day of standing but I HAD to do it because I had no other means(no scholarship for summer classes at the community college) and after that I never looked back.. I worked two part time jobs until I graduated with my bachelors.. It was tough, very hard but my mom was the biggest supporter.. "you can do it" was her push and I did it.. for my Masters, I became the teaching assistant so I didn't have to pay any fee and in fact I got paid too so that was easy peasy minus the freshman students with hangover! :D
I am married now but still very independent and I work.. I dun think I can ever quit working because it really defines me and I am so very proud of myself for achieving what I have and will not have it any other way!
For me i think it was both parents. However my dad was/is on protective side. I started working at 15 because i wanted to work, my dad was against it but my helped me with it. Then same thing for the driving license my mom supported me with it. My dad wanted me to finish school and become something in life and he would push me for that. And bless them i am now more mature and responsible then usual 21yr olds. And i am blessed that my hubby also wants me to have my own identity.
I got the drive in myself. You know after a certain time in your life you feel like discovering yourself and what things you can do. Then only you realize what the only obstacle and hindrance was and the light bulb goes off and then you are like its not so bad when you start to depend on yourself to do things.
I believe in interdependence as a couple :D lol
Ok, so I am still learning to be a little more independent since my father always wanted to provide for us due to his own experiences as a kid. He didn't want to over burden us with the idea that you have to work while you're in college or highschool since he himself had a horrible childhood unfortunately and did not want to repeat that with his children. So I got my first job in college just to have extra money for small expenses and after marriage I get some money from hubby sometimes. Hmm other than that I don't think I am fully independent yet since I don't really have a real full time job. I'm in limbo between undergrad and grad :(. Really dislike this time.
My dad never wanted his daughters to be too scared to go out and do stuff on our own. So, he made sure we didn't stay confined to our home, from a very young age (more so than my cousins).
My mom has always been a career woman. So, I grew up seeing women as independent like that. Working and making money is as much a woman's thing as it is a man's.
My SO helped me be independent in an emotional way; not needing others to help deal with my feelings. That seems like a necessary part of growing up.
I am still working at it. I am not exactly dependent (but I do live with parents). But I feel that I can work on my own life some more, and drive it WELL.
My dad.. my mum always encouraged me academically but not really in other ways eg my dad wanted me to take driving lessons as soon as I was old enough whilst my mum tried to delay it (still feel resentment at that), he was also fine with me moving out for uni, going away whenever I wanted etc, also encouraged me to work-part time so I'd have my own income and learn to manage money..
I was totally totally dependant on my parents until when they passed away in my early teens, I learnt to cook and clean on my own but I was still financially dependant on others for a long time and after marriage I started working but left it coz of kids, so far I'm dependant on my husband for finances but recently I have refused to take any money from him, the only money I take from him is for the work I do for him(a small business and few things here and there), I feel I just don't wanna be that typical desi woman relying on her husband's money and wasting it. I plan to work again after getting higher education within 5 years time inshallah.
I just wanna do it to change the image of typical desi muslim women. And I don't wanna be a typical working woman either, I wanna be somebody.
Hats off to you and I hope you will achieve your goals InshAllah!
